tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10702380.post5363059272411201039..comments2023-10-23T06:31:49.539-07:00Comments on Hollywood Flakes: Make Me LaughUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger34125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10702380.post-42388907856262136732010-03-03T01:26:03.349-08:002010-03-03T01:26:03.349-08:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10702380.post-11902205043374977502009-12-27T18:06:51.718-08:002009-12-27T18:06:51.718-08:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04431860384938917748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10702380.post-86479132781894176592007-11-10T10:26:00.000-08:002007-11-10T10:26:00.000-08:00Shiloh - that was WONDERFUL! I haven't laughed th...Shiloh - that was WONDERFUL! I haven't laughed that hard in a looong time!<BR/><BR/>Here's another one that my dh received from work (he's a cop).<BR/><BR/>In most of the US there is a policy of checking on any stalled vehicle on the highway when temps drop to single digits or below. About 3 AM one very cold morning, MT state trooper Allan Nixon (#658)responded to a call there was a car off the shoulder of the road outside Great Falls, MT. He located the car, stuck deep in snow and with the engine still running. Pulling in behind the car with his emergency lights on, the trooper walked to the driver's door to find an older man passed out behind the wheel with a nearly empty Vodka bottle on the seat beside him. The driver came awake when the trooper tapped on the window. Seeing the rotating lights in his rearview mirror, and the state trooper standing next to his car, the man panicked. He jerked the gearshift into 'drive' and hit the gas.<BR/>The car's speedometer was showing 20-30-40- and then 50 MPH, but it was still stuck in the snow, wheels spinning. Trooper Nixon, having a sense of humor, began running in place next to the speeding (but stationary) car. The driver was totally freaked, thinking the trooper was actually keeping up with him. This goes on for about 30 seconds, then the trooper yelled, "PULL OVER!"<BR/>The man nodded, turned his wheel and stopped the engine. Needless to say, the man from North Dakota was arrested and is probably still shaking his head over the state trooper from MT who could run 50 MPH.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10702380.post-55113262644947908782007-11-09T14:32:00.000-08:002007-11-09T14:32:00.000-08:00hey, wheres your post for today?hey, wheres your post for today?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10702380.post-61494404870301340342007-11-09T14:20:00.000-08:002007-11-09T14:20:00.000-08:00Thanks for explaining the joke natalie. I already ...Thanks for explaining the joke natalie. I already knew the story of the city of Enoch,(Yes I'm Mormon!) but I was born blonde! I also loved the blonde joke.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10702380.post-39729398407998201672007-11-09T14:18:00.000-08:002007-11-09T14:18:00.000-08:0019 Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity . ...19 <BR/>Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity . <BR/>1. <BR/>At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. <BR/>2. <BR/>Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. <BR/>3. <BR/>Every Time Some one Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that. <BR/>4. <BR/>Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In." <BR/>5. <BR/>Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. <BR/>6. <BR/>In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds" <BR/>7. <BR/>Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy." <BR/>8. <BR/>Dont use any punctuation<BR/>9. <BR/>As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than walk. <BR/>10. <BR/>Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. <BR/>11. <BR/>Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go." <BR/>12. <BR/>Sing Along At The Opera <BR/>13. <BR/>Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme <BR/>14. <BR/>Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day. <BR/>15. <BR/>Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood. <BR/>16. <BR/>Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom <BR/>17. <BR/>When The Money Comes Out of The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!" <BR/>18. <BR/>When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're All Loose!!" <BR/>19. <BR/>Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."Shilohhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13542515432228641491noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10702380.post-8589458603328638582007-11-09T13:50:00.000-08:002007-11-09T13:50:00.000-08:00Boy did this post pay off. I've been laughing at ...Boy did this post pay off. I've been laughing at all your comments since yesterday evening. I'm in a GREAT mood now :)<BR/><BR/>Thanks for explaining the City of Enoch thing, Natalie. And I am a total sucker for every blonde joke ever told - that one being no exception.<BR/><BR/>MarysMom - you kind of had that one coming, didn't you! I hope your kid doesn't draw family pictures of you like that at school. So funny!<BR/><BR/>Marie - your friend is CLEVER! But it's so true, the vegetative state part. So how soon till you plugged yourself back in?<BR/><BR/>Anon, I wish God called me Fred. It's so funny how kids hear song lyrics!<BR/><BR/>Susan, the microwave being powered by the earth's core? I don't know the real explanation so why not? And the "I'm just a stupid boy with no feelings," line is wonderful in every way.<BR/><BR/>Anyone else got anything?Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09162148472659666694noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10702380.post-49663605351357020202007-11-09T13:33:00.000-08:002007-11-09T13:33:00.000-08:00I asked my daughter to draw a picture of her famil...I asked my daughter to draw a picture of her family (so she would get off my back while I'm reading other people's blogs!) and she drew me with bare breasts. She was breast-fed for 3 1/2 years, does this mean I will forever me cow-mama to her???!!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10702380.post-29926234858413551562007-11-09T12:35:00.000-08:002007-11-09T12:35:00.000-08:00The city of Enoch was taken up to heaven because a...The city of Enoch was taken up to heaven because all the inhabitants were so righteous. This little boy was NOT righteous so the city was taken up after he left.<BR/><BR/>And Sarah, I have a joke for you:<BR/><BR/>Two Blondes With Hammers... Carol and Donna, were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity house. Carol, who was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.<BR/>Donna, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?"<BR/>Carol explained, "When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away." <BR/>Donna got completely upset and yelled, "You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!"Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10702380.post-37333878063888607162007-11-09T12:24:00.000-08:002007-11-09T12:24:00.000-08:00Sarahspundah, you didn't need to take down your Vo...Sarahspundah, you didn't need to take down your Vote for Hollywood Flakes reminders simply because Pakistan's constitution has been suspended. Live your life as wonderfully as you can. By the way, we all think you did great in the polls! Nice way to get some recognition for your good writing.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10702380.post-7549034222860673832007-11-09T10:08:00.000-08:002007-11-09T10:08:00.000-08:00I dont get nancy sabrinas joke.will you explain it...I dont get nancy sabrinas joke.will you explain it to me?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10702380.post-63281734393530112302007-11-09T10:02:00.000-08:002007-11-09T10:02:00.000-08:00Other than glib remarks, I only know one joke. So...Other than glib remarks, I only know one joke. So here goes:<BR/>A young boy loved to go fishing. One day he woke up and said "Mom, can I go fishing?" And his mom said "No, son, today is Sunday. We don't fish on the Sabbath." "Aww, man." he said, and walked away. A little while later he came back and said "Mom? How about a walk? Can I go on a walk on Sunday?" His Mom said yes so off he walked - with his fishing pole - thinking he was so clever to have tricked his mom. He was going on a walk - just a walk to the fishing hole. So he got there and he fished and he had a good time and he started to walk home. He knew the path well but he kept getting confused. He felt like he was going in circles around where his house should have been. He was so confused that he finally sat down and said to himself "What? Did the whole City of Enoch just disappear?"Nancy Sabinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15713260519511130162noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10702380.post-42222112501626681432007-11-09T09:40:00.000-08:002007-11-09T09:40:00.000-08:00"Last night, my friend and I were sitting in the l..."Last night, my friend and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her, 'I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.' <BR/><BR/>She got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out my wine."Memarie Lanehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03289584923725420572noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10702380.post-80689417592947413152007-11-09T09:32:00.000-08:002007-11-09T09:32:00.000-08:00how was that vid. funny?how was that vid. funny?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10702380.post-59552572081169150452007-11-09T08:34:00.000-08:002007-11-09T08:34:00.000-08:00http://www.webtvhub.com/ventriloquist-jeff-dunham-...http://www.webtvhub.com/ventriloquist-jeff-dunham-and-achmed-the-dead-terrorist-video-silence-i-will-kill-you/<BR/><BR/>funniest video i have seen in a LONG while... :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10702380.post-77199590574317666742007-11-09T08:29:00.000-08:002007-11-09T08:29:00.000-08:00this joke took my friend ten minutes to figure it ...this joke took my friend ten minutes to figure it out... "A man walked into a bar and said ouch."Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10702380.post-14253972320514240872007-11-09T00:51:00.000-08:002007-11-09T00:51:00.000-08:00I've got nothing. But thanks for all the entertain...I've got nothing. But thanks for all the entertainment, folks! (My house reeks of pee, too.)Suzie Petuniahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13387520367654400467noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10702380.post-58894421093389624202007-11-08T21:31:00.000-08:002007-11-08T21:31:00.000-08:00Along the literal humor lines of Jaime J and Veloc...Along the literal humor lines of Jaime J and Velocibadgergirl, here's a joke my husband likes to tell:<BR/><BR/>Hubby: You know how goose fly in V's in the sky? Do you know why one side of the V is usually longer than the other?<BR/><BR/>Hapless Victim: No. Why?<BR/><BR/>Hubby: Because there are more geese in it.Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09162148472659666694noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10702380.post-73257253798632310852007-11-08T21:00:00.000-08:002007-11-08T21:00:00.000-08:00PS Jamie J, that fish joke is AWESOME.PS Jamie J, that fish joke is AWESOME.velocibadgergirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11284169501055131574noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10702380.post-8953615143490779852007-11-08T20:59:00.000-08:002007-11-08T20:59:00.000-08:00I posted a bunch of my favorite goofy videos over ...I posted a bunch of my favorite goofy videos over at my place today. They're always good for a laugh.<BR/><BR/>Two men walked into a bar. The third one ducked.velocibadgergirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11284169501055131574noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10702380.post-27596945847964430482007-11-08T20:03:00.000-08:002007-11-08T20:03:00.000-08:00All from the same son:"I know how you say 'apple' ...All from the same son:<BR/><BR/>"I know how you say 'apple' in sign language. You take an apple and do this with it," holding an apple up and shaking it. (Age 6)<BR/><BR/>"I know a song no one's ever heard before!" and Elijah started singing:<BR/><BR/>Oooh, yeah--I will save you from the bad guys<BR/>Oooh, yeah--I won't let them get you<BR/><BR/>I asked him if he made it up himself, he said, "No. I heard it from Elijah 2 and Elijah 3." (Elijah 2 and Elijah 3 were his newest imaginary friends. Age 6)<BR/><BR/>"Mom, does the power of the microwave really come from the earth's core?" - Elijah makes himself some soup. (age 10)<BR/><BR/>"I get hungry, and I get full. THAT'S MY LIFE. It's not your life! SHUT UP!" Elijah, age 8<BR/><BR/>"What if VH1 didn't save the music?" - Elijah, age 8<BR/><BR/>"Do you think that people should love their butt? I think so. Cuz if you didn't have one you couldn't go poo. And your butt would get really fat." - Elijah, age 9<BR/><BR/>"For some reason I don't know what I'm thinking." - Elijah, age 9<BR/><BR/>"I'm not really into bluesy stuff. I'm more into techno...and rock. Cuz that's what Linkin Park is made of." - Elijah, age 9<BR/><BR/>When he was 11, my husband asked him, "Who invented the yoyo?" and he said, "How am I supposed to know? I'm just a stupid boy with no feelings!"<BR/><BR/>One final story, at age 6:<BR/><BR/>Elijah was wearing a shirt with the number 7 on it, and I told him that was my favorite number. I asked him what his favorite number was, he said without even blinking, "3,000."<BR/><BR/>I told him my favorite word was "enthusiasm." I asked him what his favorite word was, and he said, "Seven!"<BR/><BR/>Then he said, "No, not really. My favorite word is--Mom!"Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10702380.post-49128442739449063412007-11-08T19:45:00.000-08:002007-11-08T19:45:00.000-08:00I was singing a son that got stuck in my head duri...I was singing a son that got stuck in my head during church last week:<BR/>"I am a friend of God, he calls me Friend!"<BR/>My 3 year old said, "Why does God call you Fred?"Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10702380.post-66106374468279886152007-11-08T19:26:00.000-08:002007-11-08T19:26:00.000-08:00Helen (6) and Rachel (3) likes to play together......Helen (6) and Rachel (3) likes to play together... a lot. They play anything that requires run, and made up stories. Sometimes they argue because of their Taylor genes of being impatient or both want to be the same animal in a pretending game...<BR/><BR/>"I'll be a cat" Rachel said while adopting the four legs possition<BR/><BR/>Helen was doing something else and frounted at her "And I going to be the dog, so you better stay away from my path... Aaarrg!" <BR/><BR/>But Rachel wanted to be playing with her at the moment so bothered her until the point of asking for trouble... "You better go away from me, cat" Helen warned her little sister. <BR/><BR/>They were about 3 minutes into the chassing when Rachel got afraid of Helen's serious meaning. "Stop, stop... you're a mean dog. You don't need to scare me"<BR/><BR/>"But that is what dogs do best, they chase cats so... RUN!" A few minutes later I heard a frantic screaming from Rachel.<BR/><BR/>"If you kept treathening me like that I'm going to hurt you... badly" Rachel added while try to scape her sister's dog paws. <BR/><BR/>This time Helen were not ready to quick easily "I'm not scared of you, little kitty. I'm going to eat you up... ALIVE!" <BR/><BR/>"OK, OK, hungry dog! You can eat me but at the end I'll win... I'll give you diarrhea!" After Rachel made this clear statement with an evily laughing, she started running again.<BR/><BR/>This isn't (probably) the funniest story about my girls but I SURE want to help you out and up.<BR/><BR/>HOLD ON there, dear Sarah!Clydehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09092749514855578377noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10702380.post-32730586193388726962007-11-08T19:22:00.000-08:002007-11-08T19:22:00.000-08:00I've been trying to respond to each of these as th...I've been trying to respond to each of these as they come in but you guys are too fast. All I can say is that I'm in SUCH a good mood right now!! Way to answer the call. Thank you from the bottom of my black little heart. <BR/><BR/>Lex, welcome to the blog! I promise I don't usually make my readers do all the work. Your joke was totally unexpected - boy do I know a few old grandma who would do that :) <BR/><BR/>Citymama, I'm glad I'm not the only one who goes trolling for awesome hickeys. Bet you didn't think to get a picture though - you'll have to do it again.<BR/><BR/>Heather, that video was SHOCKING! I can't believe that poor girls' mother ever encouraged her to do that. I was laughing so hard by the end.<BR/><BR/>Jlow, your joke list was remarkable - my favorite BY FAR being the shitzu one. I'm going to have to tell that to some random stranger every time I go to the L.A. zoo from now on. It's just so funny - I wish you could hear me busting up right now just thinking of it.<BR/><BR/>Jenny - the fainting wedding parties were PERFECT! I'm going to be watching that one again and again and again...<BR/><BR/>And Doug, I have to disagree. That woman's HUSBAND must be stopped.Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09162148472659666694noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10702380.post-63670899543930395072007-11-08T19:17:00.000-08:002007-11-08T19:17:00.000-08:00Man my eyes are still bleeding from watching that ...Man my eyes are still bleeding from watching that star wars trumpet video...<BR/><BR/>Somewhere in the world a woman gives birth every six seconds. She needs to be found and stopped.Doug Taylorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00714331065600778521noreply@blogger.com