January 2, 2006

The Big Cover-Up

With all the Christmasing we've been doing, Spike and I have been talking about whether or not we are going to lie to Pixie about Santa. I think it's better to just let her know it's a fun game everyone plays, but then - Spike points out -she'll be the girl in kindergarden who spills it to all the other little suckers and sends them home in tears. So to deceive or not to deceive...

I remember my family going to extreme efforts to make sure my littlest sister believed in Santa. One year (she must have been 7 or so) she was getting a little skeptical so one of the sisters went on the roof above her bedroom that night to stomp around and shake sleigh bells. You should have heard her the next morning! She was hooked for a while longer after that. Of course, this is the same sister that I convinced that I was blind until she was about 6.

Anyways, it's not like Santa even does anything to merit all us adults lying to cover him. This Christmas I stayed up till 3am wrapping, stuffing and cleaning. He only showed up to eat the plate of cookies I'd been eying all night. The only productive thing he does all year is give everyone's chimney's a good cleaning. He's basically living on his reputation at this point just like that upitty Micky Mouse and I'm not going to encourage him. I propose that we just tell it like it is. Mom and Dad are busting their rears to make their kids happy and Santa was stuck in there to make sure we don't get due credit. So for Christmas 2006, I say power to the parents. Let's put pepper in the cookies and stoke the fire before bed. Santa, it's put up or shut up.

(Yes, this post is a primarily a fierce retaliation to Santa for not getting me anything off my list I posted on the blog in December. Either he doesn't read my blog or he just didn't want to get me all that stuff. Either way, I'm bugged.)


Katherine said...

I have been waiting since the 28th to see what the results for the EPT test were. I am a little disappointed that after all this time you bring up Santa, who isn't nearly as exciting. I think you should lie your little butts off to PJ...if nothing else you can use it to make her be good from Thanksgiving until Christmas! But then again why would you listen to someone with no kids and no experience :)

Sarah said...

Negative. No baby. Just a really crabby, hungry Sarah. I was hoping that would explain it, but unfourt, no.
And Katherine, you should know that any woman who is married has extensive experience with "kids." Don't underestimate your experience!

chica said...

you also told me that if i broke up styrofoam cups it would poison our house and we would have to move out of it.