January 21, 2006
I'm a self-mutilator. Eyes-wise that is. I wear contacts nonstop for at least a month - until my eyeballs feel like sandpaper. Then I throw them out and wear my glasses until my eyes stop aching. I'm in one of my rare glasses phases right now. My prescription is pretty strong (legally blind) and my doctor said that they could never make glasses that give me as good vision as contacts can. So once every 6 weeks or so I have to revert to 2 or 3 days of fishbowl vision, tension headaches, and a greasy nose. These are dismal days for me. I'm an owl - the only things I can see are directly in front of me so I spend most of the day swinging my head around wildly trying not to miss anything. I become a recluse. Seeing everything through a fog makes me surly and confused. Tie that in with my owl whip-lash and it's not pretty.
I know, I know - there are lasers for people like me. But honestly, who would really want some Hollywood cheapo doctor stick their head under a laser. For now, I'm still too paranoid. I'm like an alcoholic - it's so easy for me to forget the lows when I have my run in the sun with contacts. Then I have 2 or 3 days of repentance. I've been doing this since high school (10 years?) and every time I got to the eye doctor I wish they would tell me that my eyes are not healthy or that I've developed some kind of disease so I would be scared into better eye health. But it's always the same unwelcome news "your eyes look great!" Maybe next time I go I'll sprinkle pepper in my eyes so they'll give me a much-wanted grim diagnosis.
If anyone has any freaky eye stories about someone who went blind or ruined their life by bad eye health, please post them. I want all the gruesome details to motivate me. Maybe there are groups for people like me, some kind of 12 step program to pristine ocular health. Or maybe I'm miraculously impervious to all this stuff since there hasn't been any negative effects yet.
This post is gloomy. It's obviously a glasses day.