February 22, 2006

Spike's Day Has Come

On Monday I was waiting in the zoo ticket line while Spike watched Pixie when some cute little chick walked up to Spike and starting giggling and talking. Of course, I watched through narrow eyes while the two of them had what seemed to me a very friendly conversation. After I got our tickets, I asked Spike if he was planning on running off with her but it turns out that he had been "discovered!" The girl was trying to cast guys for a Milwaukee’s Best beer commercial (you know the ones - where the guy sneaks out of poker night to call his girlfriend and gets crushed by a giant can of beer). They told Spike they were looking for average looking guys who looked like they liked drinking beer and hanging out with their buddies. Spike has never had a sip of beer in his life (Mormons rock) and politely refused. She tried to convince him that it would be really fun and easy but he just said no thanks and she left. Then a few minutes later her colleague came up and asked him the same thing. Who knew that Spike looked like a beer-guzzler?

It was bittersweet. It would have been so fun for Spike to be in a commercial, but just not for beer. If he had done it, I'm pretty sure his family would have had a collective heart attack and died. But it would have been pretty cool to be on TV. Oh well. We'll have to cultivate some other look for Spike so that he be discovered by different scouts who won't make him sell his soul for 15 minutes of fame. Maybe a nice cheese commercial.

So the world has just missed their big shot at getting Spike. But I think he's got the bug now. He's going to start waxing his eyebrows and wearing briefs and saying things like "I just wouldn't dare show up at her party. Such low class!" My Target jeans won't seem so excessive when he starts shopping for his diamond studded Prada jumpsuits.

I always thought Pixie would be the one that got picked up the talent agents. I doubt I ever will. But in the end, it's our little Spike that the camera begs for. I'm glad to say I knew him before he became a Hollywood legend!


Anonymous said...

Adam's never had a sip of beer? I wouldn't be so sure about that. I have it on good authority, in fact, the Highest Authority, that he once sold his soul to the Anhiser Bush Corp.

Adrienne said...

Oh noes! Beer! SCANDAL!

Does beer keep you from getting into heaven? Specifically, what ARE the doctrines on lager? And what if it's O'douls? Inquiring minds want to know!

...because I think if beer is the deciding factor, I'm in trouble.

Sarah said...

Draino, I'm pretty sure it's the animal-human hybrids you are testing that are going to keep you from getting to the pearly gates - not that fact that you're a lush.
O'douls is the strangest thing to me. Why would you want to have to endure the taste of beer without getting any of the mind-numbing effects that help you overcome it's nastiness?
As far as inquiring minds, it's a health code that Mormons choose to live by (see link in my post) but taking a sip of alcohol certainly doesn't rank up there with sticking your grandma in a woodchipper. That's a BIG no-no.

Adrienne said...

Good to know about the grandmas and woodchippers. I'll file that away for later.

And... I like beer! It's BAD beer that's upleasant. Of course, I also like straight tonic water, so I'm kinda weird anyway. Anyway, I'm off to go shove DNA into my fruit flies and further cement my condemnation to the fiery pits. It's fruit fly DNA, though, so i guess they're just animal-animal hybrids?