Autobiography

Voices I Hear
You can go ahead and (blank). Your baby is too young to remember.
If your husband loved you, he wouldn’t watch sports
It’s okay to eat the produce off the racks in the grocery store. They want you to sample before you buy
If all you are able to do during the day is make the bed, you had a successful day.
If you can’t see the germ, it doesn’t exist.
The only reason you want to go to the gym is because you have low self esteem. You’ll feel much better about yourself once you stop thinking about being healthy all the time.
Everyone is watching you.
The more you eat, the better your metabolism, the skinnier you are!

Lies I Tell
I’m fine.
Sorry, we can’t come over tonight - We couldn't find a babysitter
Spending time blogging is a important, necessary development of my literary skills
I brushed my teeth
Hello? Hello? You're breaking up... I'll call you back.
I never pick my nose. That's just disgusting!
I don’t watch VH1 - such trash.
I recycle

People I Admire
My mom and dad
Marathon runners
Anyone with more than one child
Missionaries
People who go to school and work at the same time
My husband
Everyone brave enough to live in Manhattan

People Who Drive Me Nutso
Anyone who tries to schedule my time.
People who can't make their own decisions
People who don’t have "bad days"
People who steamroll over emotional boundaries
Close-talkers

What Makes Me Happiest
Oxytocin (NOT to be confused with oxycotin)
My baby's laugh
Nature watching
A good book
Creating art
Naps in hammocks
Real letters in the mail
Being fit
Seeing my siblings succeed
Being the answer to a prayer
Winning Rock Paper Scissor