I've had a long week. One of those weeks where the only reason you justify getting out of bed is so that you can eat breakfast so you don't starve to death. But then I think, eh, death. So what. It's not like it's a big deal. Nice big white light, clean clothes, no telephone. Maybe I'll just stay in bed a little longer.
Don't get me wrong - I'm not suicidal. But somehow I missed the class about why death is such a scary proposition and as a result it's not much of a deterrent for me. Someone I love dying - not something I look forward to. Getting majorly injured - not for me. Looking into a mirror in a dark room - terrifying. But just plain old widdle death making a housecall? I guess if I had killed someone I might worry about death. Or if I was Hindu and had to worry about coming back as a dog in Korea. But from everything I've learned in church my whole life, it would take an awful lot of Desperate Housewives watching for me to mess up my chances for eternally clean sheets in the next life.
Death is always two steps away from all of us so I'm not going to try and pretend like I don't think about it often. Most obviously on the LA freeways where any one car could kill you in a split second. Less obviously when I'm going through the leftovers in the fridge looking for something to eat that isn't irreparably moldy. Yes, I have already admitted on this blog that I'm somewhat of a hypochondriac so maybe some of you can't relate to this at all, but if you haven't, you are in serious denial of the inevitable. It's like people who can't face the fact that the 80's are over and go around wearing teal leggings and shoulder pads. I just want to take those women by their huge padded shoulders and shake them till their perms straighten out. Some things like death and fashion just can't be overlooked.
But like I was saying - it was a long week and I asked myself multiple times throughout the week what was the point of each of my individual actions. The answers mainly fell into the categories of 1. Not starving 2. Not stinking and 3. Not making my baby hate me. I know there's a little more to it than that, although observing me last week wouldn't prove it. I want my life to be centered on developing rewarding relationships with others, improving myself and creating a kick hinny blog. Unless Death has other plans for me, I'll do it too.