Honesty is the Best Hypothetical Policy

Listen guys - I have to call you out on my latest poll. Spike came up with the "kitten or foot" question a week or so ago (see my poll in the left sidebar) and in our verbal polling of friends, almost everyone said kitten. But in the poll I posted on the blog, respondents are overwhelming picking foot. I guess I have influenced the outcome somewhat by posting a picture of a sweet kitten next to your choices. But what if I had also posted a picture of your beautiful fleshy feet? Or a picture of an amputee?

Would you really risk a lifetime of gimpiness to spare the life of a cat? I know, it's fundamentally a sick sick question but let's not forget that Spike came up with it so he's the twisted one - not us. But now that we have the hypothetical, let's indulge in its charm by giving our honest hypothetical answer. All you foot people out there, don't be ashamed to admit that your life might actually be more important than this cat's. I was one of the few people who was very tempted to answer foot, but when it comes down to it, if I was faced with losing my foot over Mr. Snuggles, it's sayonara Snuggles.

Maybe everyone is just way more altruistic than I had imagined, but more likely, you were blindsided my the picture of the kitten. What if the cat was blind and missing an ear? What if the cat had rabies? What if the cat had just peed on your bed? Would you still crush all 38 of the delicate bones in your foot?

We've been coming up with all kinds of bizarre hypotheticals lately. There is a board game called "Would You Rather" that inspired us. Some of our favorites include:

"Would you rather crawl for a mile in shorts on gravel or drink a backsweat slurpie?"
"Would you rather eat poo that tasted like ice cream or ice cream that tasted like poo?"
"Would you rather have a third leg in place of an arm or a third arm in place of a leg?"
"Would you rather have the perfect spouse and awful children or an awful spouse and perfect children?
"Would you rather always smell like rotting potatoes or always have an open gash on your face?

These are the things that keep us up at night. There are some other fun sites on the internet with perplexing "would you rathers" if anyone is interested in putting their ethics to the test. Mine have been tested, and proven lousy. If anyone can think up any good ones, post them in a comment and get credit for a twisted mind.