March 2, 2006

Moral Decline of PBS

Here's my laugh of the morning. I had Sesame Street on for Pixie while I cleaned up breakfast and overheard a new segment come on. I'm one of those wicked Desperate Housewives followers so I instantly hit the TiVo button and recorded the segment for the blog:


Narrator: Coming up on the Bloom Network, it's the show everyone's talking about... Desparate Houseplants. It's the story of some houseplants who were not getting what they needed.

Two wilting houseplants sit in a window box sadly shaking their leafy heads

Plant 1: I can't take it anymore! I've lost my bloom. I haven't been watered in days.

Plant 2: I can't go on like this!

Narrator: The plants were desperate for water and sunlight. Until one day...

Plant 1: Look! Is that the gardener?

Plant 2: And it looks like he's got his watering can. I hope he notices us.

Enter the tall dark and handsome gardener wearing nothing but a neckerchief and loose overalls.

Gardener in a sultry Latin voice: Ohhhh.. your soil looks so - dry. You need - water.

The gardener proceeds to water one of the plants who makes Herbal Essences noises of appreciation. He then rips opens the shade and plasters the other plant with sunlight who gasps with delight.

Plant 1: He sure knows what a plant needs - I've never felt so alive!

Plant 2 pops open a new bud

I feel like a 4th grader putting this on the blog but the double entendre is just too funny to be dismissed. I had a friend named Katherine in 4th grade who would say "oooooh, dirty" after everything I ever said no matter what it was. I don't remember ever saying one dirty thing, but she somehow managed to twist my meaning enough to make me into a slimy scuzbag. If I said I wanted to go to lunch she would slant her eyes, grin and let me know how dirty I was. So now I kind of feel like Katherine but I have a feeling the writers at Sesame Street might agree with me. And just when I thought I was all mature and stuff!

3 comments:

Stephanie said...

I feel so dirty just reading that! Totally a When Harry Met Sally in the diner moment. ;-)

Mary B said...

Umm, what kind of tv do you have? It looks hugeolah.

Molly said...

I'd comment, but I have to go tend to some gardening...