July 13, 2006

Why I've Turned Off the Ringer On My Phones

Because my toddler has a nervous breakdown if I haven't answered it after two rings. She's gone totally Pavlovian

Because there is no more white space on my To Do list and I'm not planning on "to-doing" it anyway

Because it seems my number was written on the bathroom wall of every mortgage company in America and those pesky brokers are calling day and night

Because I can't say no to anything and hate to lie (but will if you press me)

Because if Gwen Stefani screens her calls, it must be the cool thing to do.

Because I can' t handle one more playdate

Because my answering machine understands your needs better than I do

Because I can never find the cordless phone when it does ring anyway. Last month it was in the fridge.

Because I'm busy writing about you on my blog

Because my mouth-muffler is broken and I'll say any crazy thing I think of then hang up the phone shocked with myself

Because I was sick last week and can still milk it for a few more days before people expect anything of me

Because there is no "I" in "phones" and I'm all about the I

Because my phones were forgetting their place and starting to boss me around

Because I'm an antisocial nut-job and I like it that way

7 comments:

Silly Marie said...

Put yourself on the "Do not call" list. We did. It took about 1 month to take effect, but it was well worth it!

Anonymous said...

Or just TELL them you are on the do not call list. By the time they figure out your fib, you will be officially signed up. Do it NOW: www.donotcall.gov.

Angela said...

Hey! My last post wasn't supposed to be anonymous! I am no stalker (maybe).

Sarah said...

Too bad - I do so love stalkers! Hmmmm... anonymous, unrequited love...

Stephanie said...

Sometimes I think about turning off my ringer but no one calls me to begin with so...

c jane said...

Yeah, I tried that once. People got their feelings hurt. When I tried to dismiss it as "my prerogative" the situation escalated...for the worse.
I like to be anti-social but only when I can be so in a friendly environment.

Mumsy Editor said...

So here's why I CAN't Take my phone off the hook or silence the ringer. We are expecting a baby around here any day! Catherine is set to deliver. Who would want to miss that? Every time she calls I get so excited and try to sound calm when I find out she just wants to bring her other kids to swim in my pool. One of these times...I can't even sleep at night, I'm so excited! Come on, Sabina Joy; we're ready for you!