You met your significant other on craigslist's missed connections
You've heard of the L.A. Clippers
You own anything with rhinestones on it
You actually did get your tan at the beach this summer
Your car won't start unless your cell phone is on
You've eaten sushi
You like sushi
You know a dude who gets pedicures
The rent on your apartment is more than the GNP of a small South American country
You've memorized the Disneyland parade schedule
The only kind of stars you've ever seen wear Gucci
You can't remember what your natural hair color is
You know the difference between the 1, the 101 the 110 and the 10 freeways and you drive on each of them just to get to work in the morning.
You get woken up by obnoxious wild parrots at 6 a.m. every day
You've paid $20 for a hamburger
Arnold Schwarzenegger leaves peppy automated messages on your voice mail once a month telling you how hard he's working to make "Cahlifoonia fantahstic!"
The moms at your local park wear stilletos in the sandbox
You're terrified to leave your house when it rains
The thought of going to Mann's Chinese Theatre one more time makes you nauseous
Not only do you own a gym membership, you actually use it
You've worked out the math so that paying two times your monthly income on a car payment is a financially sound idea
Your idea of embracing different cultures is giving Princess Jasmine a hug at Disneyland
You paid over $100 for your sunglasses
You own a two piece jogging suit which you've never worn jogging
You've never been to Compton
You wear a hat, sunglasses and baggy shirt on the street hoping to be confused with a celebrity
You've been confused with a celebrity
You've memorized the location of each and every In-N-Out in the state but couldn't find a church to save your soul.
Your waiter last night has been taking acting classes for over five years but somehow couldn't remember how to act like having to serve you didn't give him gastrointestinal cramps
You have a psychological defect making it impossible to own the same car for more than 6 months
You've denied going to Fredericks of Hollywood
You know where Paris Hilton was last night
Your cell phone is lighter than your fingernail clippings
You're a closet Angeles fan
You've hit and run
You don't know and don't care where Northern California is
You haven't actually said "Los Angeles" since you've got here.
If this sounds like you but you don't live in L.A., you should consider relocating. We would actually like you here! Long Live L.A.!