September 21, 2006

Soy Delicious!

Once again, despite my best efforts, I'm an awful, terrible, despicable person. But it always makes for a good story so I try not to feel too bad about it.

Spike got tested for allergies a few years back because he was having allergy attacks on his jogs and we needed to know what he should avoid. The doctor we went to was cheap, on our plan, and totally weird. We laughed when the allergy tests came back telling Spike he wasn't allergic to anything like pollen or dust - no, no! The tests showed the culprits to be soybeans, arrowroot, bananas, grape/raisin mixes and buckwheat. How completely useful. Spike better make sure not to step on any more bananas on his jogs. And unfortunately, the buckwheat deodorant just had to go.

My darling husband had a hard week and came home the other night craving a smoothie. Being the excellent wife that I am and made him one. We are on a health kick so I made a low-calorie blend. In went the strawberries, pineapple, low fat blueberry yogurt and ice cubes. Then a dash of Splenda. Instead of putting in real milk like Spike usually does, I put in vanilla soy milk since I thought it would add a nice vanilla flavor and hey, soy equals health, right? Who am I to give heed to a stupid allergy test?

We both drank our smoothies and Spike proclaimed it delicious. I sat silent and smug exalting in yet another health trick I had pulled to get us eating healthier. As I went back to the kitchen to clean up, I heard him start coughing and gagging in the other room. "Honey, did you put soy in the smoothies?" he groaned.

"Why? Does your uvula itch?" I stalled.

Gagging noise. "Yes. You didn't, did you?" An itchy uvula is a common side affect of Spike's allergy attacks.

I then had to sit there for the rest of the night and listen penitently while Spike coughed and gagged over an itchy uvula thanks to my subversive smoothie. But honestly - who's allergic to soy? Not that it makes Spike less of a man, but come on. Get over it. (Can you get over allergies?) I hate to say that our allergist may have actually known what he was talking about. So much for mom knowing best. But it was a heck of a smoothie.


angela m said...

Hey, at least he isn't lactose intolerant! Those reactions are nasty for everyone involved!

My mom is allergic to Soy. She is also allergic to eggs, bananas, avocado, aspartame, garlic, and most fragrances. I am pretty sure there are others but this is all I could think of off the top of my head.

I wish I were allergic to chocolate or sugar or bread. Who am I kidding, I would probably just suffer through.

Anonymous said...

I have heard that a lot of people are actually allergic to the poor ways that soy is processed, but not the soy itself. I wonder if that is true?

A Payne said...

My 5 year old daughter asked what the hangy downy thingy in her mouth was. I told her it was her uvula. Now she goes around asking people if she can see their uvula. It's not right, I tell ya, it's just not right. She's gonna get kicked out of kindergarten asking questions like that.

Samantha said...

My husband hates soy products just in principle so he'd like that picture. Actually he hates lots of things on principle.