Patriotic Birds

I've been obsessed with birds, birdfeeders and bird accessories since February when I found a hummingbird nest outside my window. Since then, I've decked our porch with various feeding implements and lures to attract the local bird population. I was wildly successful but in two short months my porch could have been a scene from CSI. Excrement, seed shrapnel and sticky red hummingbird nectar covered every inch and the rat-birds (pigeons) were leaving thick oily deposits all along the railing. I was quickly disillusioned with nature's small spirits.

The birds are no longer welcome. I took down all the feeders and ran outside shouting and jumping when hungry sparrows circled the porch screaming for more seed. After a few weeks they got the idea and moved sadly on. I was left with heaps of bird accessories so when I got pregnant my nesting instincts devised an unlikely plan to assimilate the accouterments into our home.

I've tried to give each room in our apartment a cohesive theme. The results haven't been ideal. I ended up with the living room as "Corporate Ikea-Asian," the kitchen as "French Dumpster," my bedroom as "Modern Beachside Stomach Ache" and Pixie's room was formerly "Fun with Felt." Anything would be an improvement, right?

I give you the new and improved theme of Pixie's room: Patriotic Birds. Catchy, ain't it? I got on eBay and bought 40+ fake birds and lots of tiny bird houses to festoon the room. Somehow along they way I decided each fowl was a a petite Paul Revere and the red white and blue color scheme crept in. Imagine if The Birds and Mr. Smith Goes to Washington had been filmed on the same set on the same day. That's the room.

Surprise, surprise, I got carried away with the theme as evidenced by some strange mental dilemmas I confronted. I had to debate whether to authenticate the decor by dripping white acrylic paint down the sides of the birdhouses and feeders to replicate poop. I compromised with a subtle splatter over certain elements. And the whole idea of integrating the different types of birds for a PC effect when everyone knows that "birds of a feather flock together" was difficult to enforce. In the end, I left a few clusters of pro-segregation birds but also integrated other groups of birds to simulate our own society's' varying degrees of tolerance. But my darkest moment came in JoAnne's craft store when I saw a denim pillow and thought "hey, that would look great with Patriotic Birds!" But Jiminy Cricket quickly reminded me that the day I decorate with denim is the day I get chased by mobs out of L.A. so I sadly continued on down the isle.

Pixie seems appropriately moved by the new decor. I hope this red white and blue brainwashing doesn't turn her into mini-Hitler. But thanks to Patriotic Birds, I'm pretty sure she won't turn out to be a flag-burner either.

For the die hards out there, here's a link to some more photos of the room.