November 26, 2006

Ominous Find

Okay, I slacked today, there are 10 minutes left until midnight, and I've got to stick up something to keep me in the NaBloPoMo thing. I promise this is the last post about the stuff I've found digging in my boxes. My parents' will. My mom stuck it in there back in 1997 with pages and pages listing what of their possessions go to which kid. It's funny to read through and see what they consider of enough worth to have to assign out to the kids and what slipped through the cracks for general grabbing after they are gone. Things I never even knew existed have been carefully designated out and other items that I am very attached to don't appear in the will at all.

I've seen so many cases of families really getting into trouble with this division of property thing after a parent dies. I'm hoping of course that my family is immune from this but you just never know what your emotions will make you do after someone you love that much dies. And then factor in greed that you didn't know you had and there is a huge potential for disaster. Some families just liquidate everything and don't hassle with division of belongs. Other children just stake claim on certain items and whoever calls something first gets it. I don't know what the best way to do it is. It seems like there is potential for disaster no matter what course you take. So I'm glad they have a will, but really don't want to think about tearing up their stuff like wolves. They are both still pretty young and the idea of them dying isn't a concern anyone has yet. It's all so hard to conceive right now.

The will planted in the middle of my junior high report cards really threw me. I've been strolling around the house all this week looking at all their things and it really only seems fitting to make a huge pyre when they die and burn it all with them so we don't have to think about profiting from their death. Do any cultures to this? Anyway, just a quick post but it's been nagging at me all week.


Mumsy said...

Hey, that was MY idea! Remember my advice? "If you start fighting over it, just destroy it or give it away." None of our stuff is is worth fighting for . It's just that: STUFF! Who needs it? None of you. We don't even need it. We like it, but we sure don'tneed it. What we do need is for our darlings to be good to each other, be hard working and honorable peeps. We feel that you are all generally there already. Thanks, Niners!

cackling vulture said...

I think the only fair solution is to give all the valuables to a nuetral third party --ME!

Actually, we don't need to worry because as long as mumsy comments on hollywood flakes, she will never die, and we'll never see her stuff torn up amongst wolves.

patrick said...

Becky's dad let us know that if there was any argument at all, EVERYTHING goes to charity.

Smart man.

Anna S said...

I have TONS of unwanted experience with this. When my mom died (I was 22), my dad asked me what I wanted. I was totally at a loss. How do you know what belongings you will associate with that person? (P.S. -- it turned out to be her rolling pin, inherited from my maternal grandmother).
In the end, I said her jewelry -- I figured that would be an easy one. Imagine my suprise when my dad said, "OK, let me just go through and take out all the valuables."
Wow. He totally blanked out on this and has no recollection of it. Earlier this year he did send me her wedding ring, which was what I most cared about. Although I do wear the casual jewelry too!
Then, when his mom died, it was amazing to see his and my aunt and uncles' attitudee (he is the oldest of 5). I always thought the purpose of dividing specific belongings was to distribute remembrances, but they were all into the take-the-valuables-and-sell-them approach. My favorite moment was when, at a Christmas family gathering, my dad passed around an eBay photo and valuation of something my uncle had claimed (valued at about $4000). As my step-grandmother (my dad's new wife, who was 89 at the time) asked what it was, he explained that it showed how much my uncle was going to get when he sold the piece. As my eyes met my step-grandmother's I felt myself cringe.

Anna S said...

Ooops; not so clear. My dad showed the pic to his mother-in-law, my step-grandmother, who was 89 at the time. She is of course the mother of my stepmother.
Guess that is what preview is for.