November 12, 2006

When Courage Flees

I feel sick.

My one year old, Pixie was chowing down on a handful of goldfish this morning when she accidentally chomped on her tongue. She shrieked and ran over to me for consolation. I'm a fantastic mom so I gave her a big hug and told her she'd be fine. But was that enough? Of course not.

"Kiss, Mommy?" Pixie asked sweetly. She stuck out her tongue for me to kiss the affected spot and thrust her face at mine. There was a thick paste of chewed up goldfish covering her tongue along with a small bleeding cut and I quickly backed away, disgusted by the idea of getting any of the goo near my own mouth. Pixie didn't understand why the old standard "kiss it better" suddenly didn't apply and burst out into fresh betrayed tears. Again she stuck out her tongue and came dangerously close to licking my mouth but I dodged. She. Was. Livid. "KISS MOMMY! KISS MOMMY!" At this point, a tear soaked face and running nose had to be factored into the ick equation. Screaming, she gripped my ears tightly and tried placing her tongue on my mouth while I swerved and dodged desperately.

Suddenly I imagined all the trust I'd built over the past 2 years spiraling down the pooper. I'd been in worse situations than this - she had once thrown up in my mouth and I survived that with only a recurring nightmare. Not to mention the countless diapers that had exploded on me and my loved ones. I was tough. I could do this. Steeling myself, I squeezed my eyes closed puckered up. The last thing I saw was that shimmering orange and pink tongue 4 inches from my face and closing fast. My waiting lips were plastered with a warm mash and I flinched but held my ground. The crying stopped. I peeked through tight eyes and saw Pixie happily going for another round of goldfish. I repressed a gag, wiped my lips hard and made a silent note to myself that kids aren't worth it.

8 comments:

Lauren said...

Hehe, but she's SO cute. :) Even if she has thrown up in your mouth. Yummm.

s'mee said...

Yeah, I remember my mother telling me the famous lie "It's different when it's your own child's diaper" routine...what a load of crap!

I don't care who's poop it is...IT'S POOP! egads, yes I am the worst mom when it comes to anything diaper related. oh gag, just thinking about it.

Seriously, years of therapy, I don't care. I hated HATED I TELL YOU! potty training!

Lady Steed said...

Big O does that exact same thing. I draw the line at kissing the tongue. I really do not like kissing his feet either but sometimes I have to do it, yuck!

A Payne said...

Goldfish?! What are you doing letting her eat goldfish? How do you let her get away with that? What are you gonna do if she eats the family hamster?!

Th. said...

.

I obviously don't love my child as much as you love yours. I have made the opposite decision more than once. Even with clean tongues.

Suzie Petunia said...

I've kissed a few dirty, stinky feet... but I've been fortunate enough to avoid your predicament. I'm proud of you - way to go, mom!

Kristine said...

YUCKO!!

That was almost as bad to read...

I'm so sorry.

Lindsay said...

Wow, Sarah. You are so much braver than I. Spit up, poop...those I can handle (for some unexplainable reason), but kissing the cracker-caked tongue of a 2-year-old? Yuck.