December 28, 2006

Six Years Later

Tomorrow is my six-year wedding anniversary. To kick it off, I pow-wowed tonight with my married in-laws about what we've learned about relationships from our marriages. Some may ring true, and others may be dead wrong. As a disclaimer, I'm not responsible for anyone taking this advice and losing their spouse over it. Proceed with caution.

Here are the gems we came up with. I've denoted which came from the girls and which are from the boys.

General Relationship
g: It never hurts to underestimate your spouse.
g: Learn to love the NBA, burping, X-Box and El Pollo Loco
g: If you want your spouse to tell you you're pretty, tell him to tell you you're pretty.
g: Never ask how much your wife spent on shopping.
b: Tell your wife she looks pretty regardless of reality.
b: Make treaties so that you get the stuff that you want most out of your spouse.
b: Marry somebody perfect and you don't have to worry at all.
b: Just let most stuff slide.
b: Your husband is not your girlfriend. Find some chicks and get out all your talking with them.
b: Guys don't realize that women can be insecure about being loved all the time. But guys just have to say it every once and a while to remind her.
b: A good marriage isn't based on romantic feelings, it's about having an anxious regard for the well being of your spouse (restated from Gordon B. Hinkley).
g & b: He really does love you even when you're fat.

Tips for keeping the romance alive
g: Say "I Love You" every night before bed and make sure you mean it.
g: Don't get the toothbrushes mixed up.
g: You never look back on money you spend on babysitters.
g: Babies do not sleep in your bed.
b: Get your own blanket. It doesn't mean you don't love each other. It does mean you won't wake up in the middle of the night screaming obsceneties at each other.
b: Spouse before kids
b: Having your own bathroom sink is worth it.

Tips for confrontation
g: Husband's don't need brats. They need love.
g: Never hold a grudge. Your spouse isn't going anywhere. Forgive instantly. Remember nothing.
g: NEVER wake a sleeping spouse. EVER.
g: A hug fixes everything
g: Being in a bad mood won't make your spouse give you a hug. It will make him avoid you when you need him the most.
b: Whatever mood you go to bed with, that's the mood you wake up in.
b: Talk it out personally. Don't let her fester.
b: Avoid the topics you know you will fight about.
b: Let your spouse vent and not respond.
b: Give up a lot of stuff to get what you want the most.
b: It's better to fight than to stay silent but it's better not to fight than to fight.
g & b: Let your spouse have hobbies and play basketball with his friends whenever he wants. Then he'll actually want to be at home with you and the kids instead of feeling obligated.

Running a home
g: A pre-made dinner from the grocery store heated up on glass plates gets you just as many points as spending 2 hours in the kitchen on some homemade concoction.
g: Find his favorite treat and make sure it's in your cabinet 100% of the time.
g: The way you greet your spouse when they come home from work determines how the rest of the evening is going to be.
g: NEVER criticize any efforts made around the house. If he did the dishes and you have to go through and wash them all again, compliment the heck out of him.
b: When you get home from work, sit in your car until you are ready to go inside and face whatever lies behind the door.
b: Tell your wife you don't care if she makes dinner or not.
g & b: The first 15 minutes after your husband comes in after work are SACRED. Save the nagging, problems and angst for later. If ever.

Happy Anniversary, Spike! I love you MUCH.


Anonymous said...

Wow, you guys should write a book or something. I'd say these are some very, very good tips. And they are quite funny! Six years is a looooong time...Happy Anniversary!

Adrienne said...

Rule number 1: Pick your battles. Seriously. That took FOR EVER for me to learn, and it applies to both of you.

Also, men who do housework get 100% more booty than their non-housework doing counterparts. For real.

Lianne said...

Those are great tips.

Here is something I have learned: "Women are normal, men are not."

Just kidding. (well, kinda)

I totally agree with Adrienne. Also, remember, if you focus on the annoyning stuff, you'll get more annoying stuff. Focus on what is working, not on what isn't.

Shiloah Baker said...

Always fight in your birthday suit. It doesn't last as long!

Happy Anniversary!

Shiloah Baker

Annie said...

b: Your husband is not your girlfriend. Find some chicks and get out all your talking with them.

Yeah, that one is a load of crap! Secret Agent Man and I decided that I don't need girlfriends. I just need him, because girlfriends don't know how to keep their trap shut! Unlike S.A.M, he is a lockbox!

Lisa M. said...

Happy Happy Anniversary!

I am not sure I have anything to add to your list, they all seem well thought out and good.

Only thing that springs to mind, is marriage takes work, I don't think I knew that.

It's worth it though.

Stephanie said...

Happy anniversary! Best wishes for many, many, many years to come!

Love the list--so true. Also, Adrienne's remark: "Also, men who do housework get 100% more booty than their non-housework doing counterparts. For real." Yup, yes, si.

Rachelle Black said...

Hey girl! Happy anniversary!
Wyatt and I will be celebrating 12 years in 2007......
Wow, that's a really long time...
Oh well, prepares us for the whole 'eternal thing' right? :))

Good list, I would add that saying "Put up your dukes!" (and actually doing it with a silly face) diffuses a great many potentially explosive confrontations.

Have a great day!

JoeBlogs said...

Happy New Year!

Phillip said...

Happy anniversary.

Some of the suggestions are excellent...others are just funny. :)

Melinda said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Melinda said...

if yo're mad about it, you're wrong about it

everyone will be better off if you arent fat

think of something to apologise for before you complain

grad school builds character