January 17, 2007

Freedom from Fitness

I just canceled my YMCA membership. Yes, 2007 is off to a great start. The past 17 days have been riddled with guilt over my failure to attend and today I decided to eliminate the stress factor. No membership, no guilt. I just love a clean slate!

I will miss all the colorful instructors. There was the lopsided Asian woman who frequently subbed with one arm as big as Arnold Schwarzenegger's and the other only half-formed and withered. I learned to love Jackie, the tough Mexican ex-con who taught Total Body who had quads as big as orcas. Nobody fell behind in that class - there were rumors of a shank under her sports bra. Cynthia was the flakey mom who bombastically lead an aerobic drumming class (imagine a bunch of stay-at-home moms with drumsticks and an outlet for their aggression - fantastico!) My favorite was Mary Anne who taught on Fridays. She was constantly worrying about offending us with crude lyrics in her workout mix but her regular song to get us going in the morning was Tom Jones's "Sex-Bomb." She prattled on about American Idol, Justin Timberlake and Hollywood couples for the entire hour and made Kathy Griffin sound like Bob Dole. These are the women who shaped 2006 for me.

But I'm rid of them. I can wake up in the mornings with a calm sense of assurance that even if I wanted to kick my own butt with a rousing workout to pop-rap music, I couldn't. I don't have to worry anymore about squeezing my pregnant self into my old workout clothes and being confused with the spokesperson for Jimmy Dean sausages. I don't have to chastise myself every time I get on the scale that there is something I could be doing about my precipitous weight gain. I'm letting it all go.

Even though it's only Day One, I've discovered a few drawbacks to my decision. As I walked through the kitchen today my hand automatically reached for a box of cholocates. I froze inches from the box realizing that this was no longer acceptable. It's okay to eat chocolates if you aren't exercising but have a membership to a gym. But no membership, no chocolates. With a sigh, I pushed the box to the back of the cabinet and got a glass of water instead. But it's worth it. I'll resign myself for the rest of this pregnancy to just sitting back and getting fat like most pregnant women are supposed to do. My friends are outraged at my waist's feeble circumference and I wouldn't want to disappoint them by looking good on Delivery Day.

YMCA, we had a good thing. You taught me that it's worth it to have a healthy body, keep your weight under control and practice self-discipline. Lesson learned. Now stop sucking money out of my bank account and let me get back to my long neglected self-loathing.


Shimmy-er said...

I just bought "Bollywood Dance Workout with Hemalayaa" from Amazon.com for $10.95. I have done it twice. While I can't do the full Bhangra Bounce, the rest is really fun and even incorporates some Yoga poses into the cool down. Much cheaper than classes!

Glo said...

If pregnancy gains you anything, it's the right to sleep in and eat bon bons. Enjoy. It'll make you love the baby more, I think.

Suzie Petunia said...

I admire the way you are able to embrace the slacker in yourself. It is very inspiring. I also have a YMCA membership that I am currently neglecting. I like to think of it as my way of donating to a community charity... kind of. I plan on putting my membership on "hold" for a couple months after the baby comes. Oh, and I reach for the chocolates AND consume them daily. My baby demands it of me. How can I say no?

Anonymous said...

Hey! You're pregnant. Eat those chocolates up. You DESERVE them.

I am not pregnant and do not have a gym membership. I most definitely should step away from the not-good-for-you stuff and yet, I find myself eating cookies. MANY cookies.

s'mee said...

I just read about the sanitary conditions of health spas, gyms and public places for excerise. Sista, you are doing your baby a favor by staying home! lol

that and what they all said.

Lady Steed said...

Chocolate makes a happy baby.

Theric got me a Denise Austin Fit & Firm Pregnancy workout DVD for Christmas. I have done it twice now and rather like it...though sometimes Denise is a little annoying. For example, she points out that she worked out every day during her two pregnancies and even worked out the day after the birth of her second child. Yeah, crazy.

Amanda said...

I loved going to the gym when I only had one baby, but as soon as I was pregnant with baby #2 that became a thing of the past. Now I just don't have the time to get ready, drive to the gym, check my kids into day care, and work out. So I roll out of bed and do something at home in my pajamas--stair stepper, workout video, whatever, and save a few hours of hassling around with the gym.

Of course, you really should just take it easy until you've ahd your baby and the scale numbers are heading in the other direction. Just too frustrating to be doing everything right and still see the numbers going up.