January 14, 2007

Ultrasound Subterfuge

Only two and a half months left to go and my husband still hasn't spilled the secret. As you may remember, Spike wanted to find out our baby's sex but I didn't so the technician wrote it in an envelope for his eyes alone. The card has been sitting propped on Spike's dresser for two months now.

My refusal to look inside the card may seem to be yet another one of Hollywood's random battles. After all, there really aren't any benefits to not knowing and a whole list of inconveniences it incurs. But there is a very important reason I can't look. It would mean he wins.

When I went in for the ultrasound in November I made it clear to the technician that I did not want to know the sex. He gave me a surprised look and asked why. I didn't know how to reply to his curiosity. Sensing my weak position, the tech spent the rest of the examination trying to convince me to find out. Why did it matter to this stranger? Was this really such a rare request? Fueled by a growing dislike for the man, I emphatically refused. At the end of the appointment he printed out two photos for me and asked if I wanted him to write the sex on the back of one of them. "No, write it inside this card," I replied and handed him a card and envelope I had prepared. I asked him to seal it as soon as he wrote his finding.

With a smirk, he scribbled something and stuffed the card inside the envelope. He held it out to me unsealed. I carefully took the envelope like it was a rattle snake and grimly licked it closed. Then I pocketed the two photos, shook his hand and was on my way. I was 20 feet down the hall when I pulled out the photos for a look. The first was easily identifiable as a little arm with five well-formed fingers. The second... now what was that? I looked at the strange little blob on the photo. Rotated it. Rotated it again and squinted. No, I had no idea what it was. I stopped and went back to the ultrasound technician who was cleaning up the examination room.

"Excuse me," I asked politely, "what is this photo of?"
"Oh, it's the sex," He replied casually and went back to straightening the room.

Indeed, it was. Suddenly I knew exactly what those little blobs were. I stood staring at him in shock. Had he purposefully foiled my meaningless little plan? Was it that important that I be denied this mother's request? As I said before, I had no real purpose for not knowing so I wasn't devastated by his betrayal but I still left the office in a funk. It was a boy. Definitely a boy.

Later that evening I told Spike the disappointing tale and gave him the envelope. He opened the card then looked at the incriminating nudie photo. With a laugh he assured me that he couldn't tell a thing from the photo. Was I wrong? I studied the photo again. Thirty seconds later I was positive that it was in fact a girl. A few days later I had some friends look at the photo and they were stumped.

Despite the tech's best efforts to foil my plan, I can safely say again that I don't know what I'm having. But at least now I have fuel for my senseless resolve. Let that slimy ultrasound tech win? Never. If I didn't have to, I wouldn't find out the sex until the darn kid hit puberty. I like keeping that card out where I can see it during the day. It reminds me that a senseless battle, well fought, can be just as satisfying as the meaningful ones. But only if you win.


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Don't ask, I won't post the ultrasound photo. Some of you are too smart for your own good and would ruin it for me!

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Okay, okay fine. I can't stop myself from appeasing the masses. Here it is. Are we really going to start a comment thread about these genitals? This kid is never going to forgive me...

26 comments:

Suzie Petunia said...

Darn! I was really hoping I could convince you to post the photo. I consider myself an expert. I LOVE finding out! I can't imagine seeing that envelope every single day and not DYING to open it! Are you crazy or just prideful? ;)

Jared, Melissa, & soon Lindsey said...

Sarah, what about us? Post it so we can try to figure it out. We won't tell you, and even if someone does, they will probably be wrong. Please post the pictures! Please, please, please, please...Pretty PLEASE!!!

The Wiz said...

I figure there are enough unknowns in childbirth. I want to know everything I can.

You know you can't post something like that and then NOT post the picutre. It's just rude. It's like saying "guess who likes you" and then running away. :)

Sarah said...

Actually, Wiz, I've spent the entire morning looking for the picture because of a last minute change of heart. As soon as I find it I'll stick it up here for my wise readers to pick apart :) Where is that thing?

The Wiz said...

Well, NOW I'm going to haunt your site constantly waiting for it....

(and I meant 'rude' in a fun, non-being mean kind of way, if you had heard my tone of voice when I typed it, that would have helped.)

chronicler said...

You are about as pregnant as my daughter. She is expecting her first in March, the tenth to be exact. Yet her midwife tells her it may be just a few more weeks, she expects her to deliver early. Fun!

Clyde said...

Yes! She's crazy and prideful...
and pregnant. Just remember this, her hormones are nuts... up and down, right and left, all over the place, no mental/emotional/physical stability for another two months so DON'T mess with her :)

Heather O. said...

I think that if you can't tell, it's probably a girl. When they did an ultrasound on my son, whoo boy, I knew even before the tech asked, "Would you like to know the sex?" I said, "I hope it's a boy, otherwise we have a seriously crazy number of limbs. It was that clear, every time we had an ultrasound.

Then again, your child may be more modest than mine.

And yes, you have to post the pics.

JoeBlogs said...

I guess it will be a nice surprise to find out.

Heather O. said...

Oh, and what a seriously evil tech.

The Wiz said...

Told you I would haunt the site. Just looked at the photo. Congratulations! You're having an alien.

How many weeks were you when this photo was taken?

Also, that tech should be fired, or at least disciplined. Nobody should treat a patient that way.

Sarah said...

It was late November so I was about 6 months along. And yeah, I've taken the tech off my Christmas card list.

Heather O. said...

Um, yeah, that picture is very clearly a blob. Good luck with that.

compulsive writer said...

This is NOT a senseless battle! You have the right not to know. I have always kind of known what I was having before the utlrasound, but I have always been very specific that I didn't want to really know. My husband and I like to be surprised (he says finding out early is like opening your Christmas presents at Halloween--it makes Christmas very anti-climactic.)

What really bothers me it the smugness of the tech's knowing.

With my last baby I was completely clear and emphatic every time that I did not want to know. Most people respected that (although I pretty much knew he was going to be a boy). But when I went in for a non-stress test a day or two before my delivery the tech--in spite of my clear requests--accidentally slipped out a little "he." I politely reminded her there was to be no discussion of the gender (which, I know, was moot at that point) and she said, "Oh, I just said that generically. I can't bring myself to call babies "it."

Yeah right.

But I do maintain you have the right to choose to know or not to know and I think the tech was out of line to try to convince you otherwise.

tracy m said...

I'm with the Blob consortium- but what a snide little whippersnapper that tech was- 30 lashes for his snarkiness!

luckyzmom said...

I had my babies before ultrasound and wonder how you can not know what the sex is if you have an ultrasound because I would want to see every part of the creation happening in my womb if I could tho I wouldn't have one just to find out the sex. It is like routine to have an ultrasound now isn't it.

Jerky technician for sure.

AzĂșcar said...

That tech is UNACCEPTABLE. What, does he think you are a stupid woman, or a stupid pregnant woman? Either way, his "little lady" routine would make this chica want to roundhouse him in the two blobs. He needs a complaint filed with the office.

Adrienne said...

My professional scientific opinion is... I have no idea what that is. I think you're having a kangaroo.

emma jo said...

You are funny. I thought after three kids I was a pro at ultrasound pictures...I have to admit I can't even tell what I'm looking at...I think it was another cruel trick of the tech, it's probably the baby's kidney or something.

Rachelle Black said...

Hmmm... considering I have only had experience with alpaca babies for the last 13 years.... you are having a lovely black suri female!!

Um, okay, not really. My vote goes with the Wiz- you are having an alien.

If your pregnancy is going anything like mine did with my son, you'd better have Sigourney Weaver on hand just in case. Judging by how he was pushing anf stretching constantly I was sure that kid was gonna bust outta my stomach and start eating people's brains.

Seriously, who can tell?? I thought for sure my precious daughter was going to be a boy the entire pregnancy, and when they told me it was a girl- I just couldn't believe it. I cried so hard shen they put her in my arms, it was a most wonderful surprise.

Isn't life grand?
Slainte~
Rachelle

Rachelle Black said...

I should never try to type when I am tired.....
Typo Queen~
Rachelle

Suzie Petunia said...

Either I'm not the expert I thought I was (totally plausible) or that evil tech was just messin' with your mind. That does NOT look like the right area of the anatomy to be looking for gender! Your secret is safe.

Lady Steed said...

Whether you will be having a girl or a boy is the one of the few surprises left in life. That tech was a jerk to try and take that away from you.

doug said...

You posted the picture so visitors could vote, debate, guess the gender, but everyone's hesitant to ruin your surprise. Do they forget that YOU POSTED the picture so we could guess?

It's a boy.

Ang said...

I vote boy. Not because I can tell anything from the ultrasound...it looks like bad TV reception to me. I say boy because Penny needs a little brother to dominate until she starts dating so then he will make her life miserable by telling her boyfriends she spent two hours picking out clothes for the evening. Ah, there is nothing like the bond between siblings.

kaff said...

I was a little sad when I was reading that you thought it was a little boy. But then that could be good for Penny and to much estrogen in the house would be bad for Adam. So pretty much have a healthy baby and I will be happy :) I'm so easy to please... and what ever those parts were, they looked healthy!