February 13, 2007

Misdeeds in Love

At 15 I had a crush on my best friend's boyfriend. Being the tactful gal that I am, I stood my distance and hid my affection under a shell of indifference. But late one night I was feeling particularly upset about the situation. I wandered out of my house to the local park to blow off the steam of unrequited teenage love. There was a picturesque stone bridge in a gully where I sat down to cry out my frustrations. After a few minutes I noticed the bridge was pockmarked with inscriptions of ardor. "Andy loves Lisa" and "T & B forever" type declarations. A quick search of my surroundings produced a rusty nail and heavy stone perfect for etching a memorial to forbidden love. After a half hour of intense chiseling, I had carved this:
My tears exhausted and hand blistering, I returned home. Soon after, the boy moved to another state. The next year I began dating someone else also with the first initial "J." One evening we were taking a romantic stroll through the park. I saw the bridge and had a flash of inspiration.
"I want you to see something." I told him and led him by the hand to the etching. "I made it just for us," I lied.
"It looks like it's been here a while."
"I carved it before we even started dating. I've liked you for a long time." He responded with the appropriate "aww" and liked me a smidgen more for my perceived efforts. In that moment I had used moldy old lemons to produce a sweet summer lemonade. It's gratifying to know that unrequited love is good for something.

15 comments:

Lindsay said...

And what he doesn't know really can't hurt him, right?

Adrienne said...

Hee hee... to all the J's Sarah's looooved before...

Man, for serious, EVERYBODY was schmoopy for this particular J (I think... unless it's a different J.) Sadly, even me. For shame!

Also... I'm a little disappointed J #2 didn't see right through that "I've liked you for a long time" crap. I recall THAT J being a pretty bright dude.

doug said...

Now that's re-gifting at its finest!

JoeBlogs said...

Good thinking, I might use last years Valentines card thinking about it...

Anonymous said...

Didn't J #2 find it a little stalkerish that you had already carved your initials in stone? Maybe that's why you didn't stay together :)

chronicler said...

I'll second Doug. Crazy in love, people will believe anything.

Sarah said...

I think the reason we didn't stay together is because of a merciful God who rarely lets you marry the fools you date in high school. That and the fact that I was a overweight, acne-riddled weirdo.

stupidramblings said...

I also have carved my initials into an inanimate object.

R O'D
+
D T

Now I have hope that one day it will work out.

Sincerely,

Donald Trump

Suzie Petunia said...

I dream about my boyfriends from high school all the time. Why is that?

compulsive writer said...

LOVE this post!

chronicler said...

hehe hehe hehe I married a guy from high school. LOL!

s'mee said...

guilty! I married Thor right out of high school, he was 19 I was 18.
I could go on with all the giddy gory details, but I won't.

Bex said...

Aren't you sneaky? I love it!

Adrienne said...

Suzie Petunia-

It's okay, my high school sweetheart and I crashed and burned while I was in New York visiting him at college. Ten years later, when I'm stressed about my relationship with my fiance (please note, not the same person), I dream about New York.

And Sarah, you have never been an "overweigh, acne-ridden weirdo." That is crazy talk.

A Payne said...

That is sahweet!