March 17, 2007

Drug I Need

What do meth addicts and pregnant women have in common? Nesting. I'm a freakin' machine.

We had a minor repair done on our kitchen wall earlier this week. The repair guy patched up a hole and said he'd come back the next day to paint over the patch. Paint you say? The next morning I went to the hardware store and picked up gallons and gallons of paint. I've spent the past three days painting our apartment. I've got my bathroom done, the kitchen, dining area, living room and another gallon of paint with Spike's bathroom written all over it. I feel like I'm on every "upper" imaginable. Or maybe it's just the paint fumes...

Spike, of course, thinks I'm psycho. I can't blame him. I do look absurd in my tight sweat pants, tiny painter's shirt and backwards cap jumping up and down with my roller brush trying to reach the ceiling without breaking my water. I imagine I look something of a cross between Rocky and Old Mother Hubbard at this stage.

Of course there are ulterior motives. Knowing how life goes, I figured this baby will come at the most inopportune time. No better way to go into labor than start a time consuming project, right? I had just finished taking all the fixtures down, taping all the trim and pulling out the furniture when the painful contractions started. I grimaced, and popped open the paint can. I called the baby's bluff and 15 minutes later the contractions stopped just as quickly as they started. Wuss baby.

Our apartment now looks fantastic. My little nesting spurt has only been interupped by mandatory breaks to elevate my feet and drain the fluid every few hours. It's a good thing I'm too pregnant to see my maligned feetsies because this week my toes have turned into swollen, angry, nubs. They'll just have to deal with it. I've still got three rooms left to paint.

I wish the nesting had kicked in a little bit earlier. I've been in denial about having this kid for most of my pregnancy and it wasn't until two weeks ago that I finally realized I had NOTHING ready. Unfortunately, having a baby isn't something you just show up for. You have to bring the metaphorical seven layer dip. I hate making seven layer dip. But the nursery is now stocked with tiny diapers, generic white onesies, and a stockpile of breast pads that would accommodate a Vermont dairy farm. Is there anything else?

Sitting still long enough to write this blog entry has been an extreme test of will. I'm going crazy to get back out there and NEST. It's only 10:30 pm, I could probably knock out another bathroom tonight. Adios suckers!

22 comments:

s'mee said...

aaah. Reminds me of the time I wall papered the ceiling in the laundry room. I took a razor knife to a tiny piece of paper that still poked out from undernieth the light fixture and zapped myself right off a ladder...yet the baby still refused to come out.

Good luck kiddo.

Spock said...

I guess paint fumes aren't damaging to a baby at this stage of pregnancy, right? Maybe s/he will come out an artist!

Spock said...

Because, seriously, there are worse things you could expose your baby to...meth, for instance. Booze. Artificial sweetners. Evil tuna.

Sarah said...

I'm glad you see eye to eye with me on this one, Spock. With only a week to go before Due Date, I figure the likelihood of baby growing another couple of heads is pretty slim.

Evil tuna though - that sounds kind of fun... Is it similar to ill tempered sea bass?

Toni said...

You are nuts! You are gonna be all paint splattered when you go into labor. When I 'nested' I cleaned, cleaned and cleaned. Major painting?? No freaking way! Good luck girl!

Mrs. M said...

Excellent work! I think the best way to survive the final weeks and days of pregnancy is to have a big project that will be nigh impossible to finish after the baby comes.

When I was pregnant with Ethan, I was finishing my thesis. People kept asking me, "So, are you ready for the baby to come out? Tired of being pregnant?" and all those small-talk-with-a-pregnant-lady questions. I kept telling them, "No way! I still have 2 chapters to write." It was actually really effective.

With Scott, I had no such project, I was just counting down the days. Much harder.

chronicler said...

well the baby on this side of the country is here and happy. I so get you on the painting. Every baby had their own color scheme! How else are you to spend those sleepless nights?

Jamie J said...

I would love to paint our apartment. Although i'd either have to lose my deposit or paint it all white again when we move out...I say go with it! That baby will come no matter what you do so you better make your walls pretty while you can! :)

Kristine said...

Rock on...or paint on!
It will be nice to come home to a newly painted apartment.
I'm only 5 months along, and have been cleaning like crazy for the past month (of course, that was to make up for the 4 months I did nothing...but still...)
I look at the painting that needs to be done and just cringe....
Hey! I've got an idea...come to NM, paint my walls, and you'll have a built in babysitter for your 2 year old...
Voila!
No phone calls required to anyone in your ward!

Hey...good luck!
I didn't realize you were just a week away.

AzĂșcar said...

Ha! Evil tuna! I ate two cans this week. With only a week to go as well, I figure he's as cooked as he's going to get, mercury schmercury.

Don't you love nesting? I've got so much going on and there are so many around the house projects I've finally finished. I also sewed a couple of baby slings and made a new car seat cover--you know, for kicks. I made my husband do most of the cleaning so I could do the projects.

Colleen said...

Sadly, I didn't ever hit the nesting stage with Elijah. I probably would have had a much more stylin' (and clean!) house if I had. He was ten days early. Maybe a few more days in the oven would've done it..

tracy m said...

Yeah, with baby number three, I didn't have the crib up, anything washed, or even diapers... such a difference between 1 and 2 and 3!!

I painted the baby's room the week before she came, too. Have fun- you know you won't be doing anything productive for a while after she descide to show!

Melissa said...

I think it's great that you have a HUGE project to occupy your time while you're waiting for baby to come. :) And by the way,I love to paint! I hate that we are renting right now because I can't change the wall color whenever I please. In our last home we had a yellow/tan kitchen, olive green dining room, tan living room, country blue bathroom and baby girl's room was a light green with a pastel purple trim. I never got to the master bedroom or the boys room... sigh. So, will you post pics? Can I live my painting addiction through you? Pretty please???

Adrienne said...

In the first pictures of my mother holding me, she has flecks of bright yellow paint in her hair... the same color I lived with in my room for nigh on 12 years. Paint fumes in the last few days of gestation didn't make me weird. Well, relatively speaking.

Rachelle Black said...

well, when you run out of wall, you can just head on up to our place honey!!

Seriously, at least you will be on canvas when your water breaks.

Oh yea... I'm back.
Come and see what's been up on my end- missed you much my dear!
Slainte~
Rachelle

Catherine said...

We're definitely related. I just went to Home Depot to "window shop" on Saturday and came home with $2500 worth of rented tools. I've completely stripped and sanded down the condo floors and will begin the poly tomorrow. It must be such a relief to know you are going to stay in your home for a while longer instead of being uprooted to cross the country to a new job.

compulsive writer said...

"Unfortunately, having a baby isn't something you just show up for. You have to bring the metaphorical seven layer dip. I hate making seven layer dip. But the nursery is now stocked with tiny diapers, generic white onesies, and a stockpile of breast pads that would accommodate a Vermont dairy farm. "

I think that is the best summary I've ever heard of the entire ninth month of pregnancy. Which, in my case, usually ends up being the tenth, as well.

Becky L said...

We're painting now too-- our living room.

When i was pregnant, i remember wanting to paint and get our daughter's room ready. i can relate to that "nesting" instinct.

[btw: found your blog via 'so many blogs..']

Bek said...

When I was in the last week of pregnancy w/ Lu I painted the dining room three times. Why three? The first two colors (yellow, too, by the way) were so wrong they filled me with RAGE just sitting at my work desk thinking about them.

yeah

Nesting.

Bek said...

BTW... my sister and girlfriend were all due next week, and one had her baby Sunday and one today, you and a few other friends are due in the next few days/weeks. Maybe there is a "I am going a week early" trend going on ...

Sarah said...

PAINT UPDATE:

My apartment is officially a Clown House. I went totally overboard on the colors and now each room is straight out of the circus. We've got bright yellow, green, blue, dark red, and I'm working on a violet for the baby's room. It's pretty awful - but not as bad as living in the white prison.

Clyde said...

You can keep bragging about having a clown house as much and as long you want it to... But until you post pictures to prove it you're out of the american circus-like homeowners association.