Fat Chicks Have More Fun
For the rest of you pregnant women out there suffering, I've discovered a little diversion to help get through the final days.
Jumping.
It freaks people out.
People keep asking me when I'm due. Any day now, I respond. It's true, my due date isn't for three weeks but my other baby came two weeks early and I wouldn't be surprised if this one did as well.
"I can't wait for it to come," I'll say while rubbing my belly in agony. Then I start jumping up and down while commanding "Get! Out! Get! Out!" and their faces go white.
I was conducting a cleaning inspection today with a tenant who is moving out. We had just finished the inspection and were chatting amiably in her empty front room. She asked about my due date and I gave a few heavy leaps of enthusiasm. "I just cleaned the floor!" screamed my friend in horror. I calmly assured her my water breaking in her empty apartment wouldn't be added to her cleaning fee.
I'm pretty sure you have to be 9 months pregnant to appreciate the humor here. But trust me, it's there.
Jumping.
It freaks people out.
People keep asking me when I'm due. Any day now, I respond. It's true, my due date isn't for three weeks but my other baby came two weeks early and I wouldn't be surprised if this one did as well.
"I can't wait for it to come," I'll say while rubbing my belly in agony. Then I start jumping up and down while commanding "Get! Out! Get! Out!" and their faces go white.
I was conducting a cleaning inspection today with a tenant who is moving out. We had just finished the inspection and were chatting amiably in her empty front room. She asked about my due date and I gave a few heavy leaps of enthusiasm. "I just cleaned the floor!" screamed my friend in horror. I calmly assured her my water breaking in her empty apartment wouldn't be added to her cleaning fee.
I'm pretty sure you have to be 9 months pregnant to appreciate the humor here. But trust me, it's there.
Comments
Nothin worse than 8 1/2 months... of course, all my babies came then, so I don't know what 9 actual months feels like. It was a tender mercy.
I wish I had something funny to say, but the truth is, I've just been too annoyed by every carbon based life form to cross my path to think of humor.
The difference between having one kid and two is not arithmetic but exponential.
This from a woman with two kids who is not that good with math, but gets some of the concepts, especially since I have done the laundry to prove it.