It's not funny, and yet...
I dreamed I was pan-frying my newborn last night. She was mildly annoyed as I flipped her with a fork and I even more so because she refused to cook.
I've lactated through my entire wardrobe in three days.
Two of my biggest emotional crutches abandoned me on Wednesday. My mother returned home and Sanjaya was voted off American Idol. Who do I have left?
My toddler seems to love her new little sister but shows signs of emotional trauma. She no longer allows her favorite stuffed animal in her crib and throws him away in disgust when I try and reconcile them.
My brother in law, a pharmaceutical representative, is eagerly anticipating my onset of post-partum depression so I can go on his featured anti-depressant drug, Lexapro. Sorry, Cannon, I'm not shaking babies yet.
I got food poisoning and was unable to stand up straight for 24 hours.
I'm hopelessly off balance after going from being bottom-heavy to top-heavy in under 4 days and find myself veering into walls.
My gigantic baby is too big for the $40 worth of Newborn size diapers I bought her but on principle I'm making her wear them anyway and have to change her soggy bum every hour.
My toddler grimly insists on nursing the baby.
These wild post-partum hormones are making me laugh anyway.
I've lactated through my entire wardrobe in three days.
Two of my biggest emotional crutches abandoned me on Wednesday. My mother returned home and Sanjaya was voted off American Idol. Who do I have left?
My toddler seems to love her new little sister but shows signs of emotional trauma. She no longer allows her favorite stuffed animal in her crib and throws him away in disgust when I try and reconcile them.
My brother in law, a pharmaceutical representative, is eagerly anticipating my onset of post-partum depression so I can go on his featured anti-depressant drug, Lexapro. Sorry, Cannon, I'm not shaking babies yet.
I got food poisoning and was unable to stand up straight for 24 hours.I'm hopelessly off balance after going from being bottom-heavy to top-heavy in under 4 days and find myself veering into walls.
My gigantic baby is too big for the $40 worth of Newborn size diapers I bought her but on principle I'm making her wear them anyway and have to change her soggy bum every hour.
My toddler grimly insists on nursing the baby.
These wild post-partum hormones are making me laugh anyway.
Comments
Of course you already know it gets better!
You WILL wear these diapers you massive child!
The diaper thing could be worse. My son was 7lb 9oz but his legs were so skinny that everytime he wet his diaper it went straight down his leg!
He laughed at the newborn size, pooped out the sides of his too tight newborn diaper all over the 0-3, and fit like a glove in the 6 month.
*sigh* those were the days, my friend.
Let not those raging hormones your heart trouble.... hm.... that Gyn said that shot they gave me in the hospital would last 2 weeks.... and yet, here I am, sweaty and crying- methinks not!!
Slainte~
Rachelle
And, whee, hormones are so fun. My personal favorite was waking at two a.m.--not from the baby--but because I had released a deluge of sweat all over the bed and had to mop it up...could the body be any weirder?
And big newborns--that means they'll sleep better! Right? Please?
(Good luck, Penny!)
Love the pic, very classic!
(I remember only to well the feeling of being marinated in milk. Good luck with that.)
That picture of Penny lifting her shirt is priceless.
I hope the food poisoning wasn't from my dinner!
PS I'll like medium red, please. :)
BTW, the chunky chicken soup thing really grossed me out. I'll take milk anyday.