The Appropriate Response
Freedom! The Juniors and Seniors were allowed "open campus" privileges and I was seeking escape from the stench of the high school cafeteria. I opted instead to spend lunch at the park with my dog at my side, finishing up an algebra assignment and snacking on carrots.
I didn't notice his presence in the empty park.
"You speak Spanish?"
I looked up, startled. A thick-set, middle aged man wearing a faded blue garage suit and a smile stood next to my bench.
"Only un poquito." I replied with an apologetic shrug. I wasn't looking for company and he didn't need to know I was in my fifth year of Spanish studies. I looked back down at my homework hoping he'd move on. But he didn't.
After an awkward pause he asked in halting English, "Do you want to do?"
"Excuse me?"
"Do you want to do."
"Do I want to do?"
"Si."
"Do I want to do what?" I asked, completely confused.
"Do you want to do the love?"
I'm not sure which emotion my face reflected, amusement or shock. He was as casual as if he was asking for the time. I had just been propositioned for sex. At that moment, I found the entire situation hysterically funny. At 15, I couldn't remember my mother ever teaching me the right thing to do in this particular situation. Stop Drop and Roll? Play dead? Pray? No, I was pretty sure I hadn't been prepped for this.
"No thank you." I said. When all else fails, resort to good manners. To my relief, he shrugged and turned to leave. I watched him walk slowly up a hill and back to his pick up truck. I'll wait for him to leave before I do, I thought. I don't want to look afraid. The man got in his car. I waited.
Rather than start the truck, the man got out again and came back down the hill to me with a determined step. Why I still sat there I cannot guess. My geriatric mutt would never think of defending me should he try force. I hoped her presence would deter him nonetheless. When he was a few feet away he held something out to me.
"Are you sure?" he asked.
I looked at his outstretched hand and was shocked to see a large wad of bills.
"I'm sure!"
"Okay..."
He turned again, walked up the hill, got into his truck and drove away.
I finished my homework and returned to school for 4th period. I shared the story with friends and got a big laugh. That evening I causally mentioned to my mother that I'd been approached at our park. Like any good mother, she went into fits and called the police immediately. A female police officer came to the house and grimly questioned me in our living room. When it became clear that there was nothing the police could do after so much time had passed, she gave me a stern lecture about how being propositioned is no laughing matter. Easy for her to say, I thought, I bet she's never been asked to 'do the love.'
Why do I share this story of my stupidity? Because to this day I cannot understand how an Honor Roll student like me with perceived street-savvy could have acted so foolishly in this situation. I like to think I'm prepared for many of life's dilemma's but you just can't think up scenarios like this. I know there is no way to guess the awful, dangerous situations life serves up but please let this particular one leave no question. If ever you are asked by a stranger to do the love, "no thank you," is an insufficient response. Try mace.
I didn't notice his presence in the empty park.
"You speak Spanish?"
I looked up, startled. A thick-set, middle aged man wearing a faded blue garage suit and a smile stood next to my bench.
"Only un poquito." I replied with an apologetic shrug. I wasn't looking for company and he didn't need to know I was in my fifth year of Spanish studies. I looked back down at my homework hoping he'd move on. But he didn't.
After an awkward pause he asked in halting English, "Do you want to do?"
"Excuse me?"
"Do you want to do."
"Do I want to do?"
"Si."
"Do I want to do what?" I asked, completely confused.
"Do you want to do the love?"
I'm not sure which emotion my face reflected, amusement or shock. He was as casual as if he was asking for the time. I had just been propositioned for sex. At that moment, I found the entire situation hysterically funny. At 15, I couldn't remember my mother ever teaching me the right thing to do in this particular situation. Stop Drop and Roll? Play dead? Pray? No, I was pretty sure I hadn't been prepped for this.
"No thank you." I said. When all else fails, resort to good manners. To my relief, he shrugged and turned to leave. I watched him walk slowly up a hill and back to his pick up truck. I'll wait for him to leave before I do, I thought. I don't want to look afraid. The man got in his car. I waited.
Rather than start the truck, the man got out again and came back down the hill to me with a determined step. Why I still sat there I cannot guess. My geriatric mutt would never think of defending me should he try force. I hoped her presence would deter him nonetheless. When he was a few feet away he held something out to me.
"Are you sure?" he asked.
I looked at his outstretched hand and was shocked to see a large wad of bills.
"I'm sure!"
"Okay..."
He turned again, walked up the hill, got into his truck and drove away.
I finished my homework and returned to school for 4th period. I shared the story with friends and got a big laugh. That evening I causally mentioned to my mother that I'd been approached at our park. Like any good mother, she went into fits and called the police immediately. A female police officer came to the house and grimly questioned me in our living room. When it became clear that there was nothing the police could do after so much time had passed, she gave me a stern lecture about how being propositioned is no laughing matter. Easy for her to say, I thought, I bet she's never been asked to 'do the love.'
Why do I share this story of my stupidity? Because to this day I cannot understand how an Honor Roll student like me with perceived street-savvy could have acted so foolishly in this situation. I like to think I'm prepared for many of life's dilemma's but you just can't think up scenarios like this. I know there is no way to guess the awful, dangerous situations life serves up but please let this particular one leave no question. If ever you are asked by a stranger to do the love, "no thank you," is an insufficient response. Try mace.
Comments
There is something poetic about the clash of worlds--privileged, studious, sheltered white girl meets frisky middle-aged, hispanic gardener. He might have been just as shocked if you had asked him to help you with your homework.
I know this is a gross, disturbing situation in summary, but yeah, the wordplay made it just plain strange. You can bet your bottom I'm going to prep Penny for this one!
What was scary was the old man in the kidnapper's van who would trail you slowly down the street.
I honestly hadn't a clue what to say, and my mind went from pithy-'Hey, you only think I'm worth 10 bucks?' to 'Go away, you total sicko!'. Instead, I resorted to politeness, as you did, and just said, "I don't think so".
Unfortunately, he just didn't walk away, but I won't go into details. When I finally told an adult about what happened (you know, months later), he was angry and shocked and said I should have called the police. But at the time, I felt just like you did--totally unprepared and unaware of what to do. And after the incident, I simply just kept walking to my friend's house. I didn't even bother to get the license plate of the car he climbed into right after. Dumb, dumb girl.
Question: How to raise girls who can be polite at the dinner table, but strong and assertive when approached by crazy people?
"Do you wanna go see a movie?"
"I dunno, do you want to do... the loooove?"
You know, I think it wouldn't have been quite so hilarious if we'd found you floating face-down in the creek...
What was this honor student wearing?
"Penny, if someone ever asks you if you 'want to do the lovin' scream 'STRANGER!!!' and run like heck!"
I can laugh, because I was actually approached three times as a child by a man in a car who was trying to abduct me. I did the right things. He said something the first time (I don't even know if it was the same guy really) that made me laugh as a kid, but grosses me out now.
All I can say is thank God he didn't pull me in the car- if it was this day and age, he would have.
I am glad you are safe,
Rachelle