June 8, 2007

Backseat Driver

I've created a monster. Everything I've ever said to my poor husband while driving in the name of "safety," our two year old parrot picked up. Now, from the instant I start the car to the second I get out, its:

Mommy, you're driving too fast.
Mommy, slow down.
Mommy, are we lost?
Mommy, I think we're lost.
Mommy, get on the freeway.
Mommy, is this the freeway?
Mommy, where's Pasadena?
Mommy, the light is green.
Mommy, green means go.
Mommy, why are you slowing down?
Mommy, I'm scared because you're going too fast.
Mommy, turn here.
Mommy, you went the wrong way.
Mommy, we're in traffic.
Mommy, what's this street called?
Mommy, stop the car and look at me.

To my darling husband, forgive me. I'll never tell you to slow down again. I now realize how close to death I've come by making such charming remarks.


Adam said...

Welcome to my life. And you used to wonder why I beg you to drive.

Jamie J said...

I am cracking up right now!! That was hilarious. Guess you gotta watch what you say! "Stop the car and look at me." Priceless! I love the non-stop question-statement phase by 2 year olds.

Mine is always saying, "Mommy there's a tree. Oh look a bus. The music is too loud. What's that Mama? Where are we going? Where are we going? We are going to the store. Where are we going? What's this song called? What's that guy (random guy on the side of the road) doing?"

Drives me batty sometimes, but at least I know she's smart and wants to know what's going on.

Rachel said...

You have to learn my favorite line, which in various iterations goes something along the lines of: "Don't make me stop this car."


Kerri said...

Riding in the car is the same with Tyler. He yells at me if I start to back up the car without buckling my seatbelt, if I am driving too slow, too fast, or going the wrong direction. He gets mad if the light is green and we haven't gone yet (which happens all the time with the traffic in LA). He yells if the light is green and he wants it to turn red. Driving with a toddler is definitely a battle sometimes! Glad to know I am not the only one going through this.

1stdaughter said...

This is hillarious! Jace isn't quite old enough to do this, but I am sure he will one day.

What I always thought was so funny is that my niece was the anti-copycat. When she was almost 2 she went through this period that whenever my sister would stop at stopsign or red light my niece would immediately yell, "GO! GO! GO!" It use to crack me up. Needless to say, after about 50 times of this my poor sister was ready for some duct tape.

Colleen said...

Luckily, Elijah's vocabulary isn't to this point yet. I just have to deal with the same conversation five thousand times on the way to wherever we're going.

"Yes, Elijah."
"Where's Dada?"
"At work."
"Yes, Elijah."
"Where's Dada?"
... and on and on and on.

No wonder having children decreases a woman's IQ.

compulsive writer said...

Oh yes. I know exactly what you mean! Uh-huh!

Chanel said...

yeah my 4 year old is the same.
my favorite is, "are you going too fast? I don't want the cops to get us."

Nancy Worth said...

My Naomi does the same thing ever since we got a van which she can see out of a little better. If we stop and she can't see the red light ahead she asks me, in a very annoyed voice, "Moooom, why are you stopping?"