June 19, 2007

A Rose By Any Other Name Would Stink

Eric Clapton
Eric Patrick Clapp

John Denver
John Henry Deutschendorf

Elton John
Reginald Kenneth Dwight

Cher
Cherilyn Sarkasian LaPier

Marilyn Manson
Brian Warner

George Micheal
Yorgos Panayiotou

Sting
Gordon Matthew Sumner

What would your rock star name be? I'd have to change my name to be truly famous. No tough-cookie rocker chick could have my last name.

I know I'm not the only one who imagines their name in lights. How would I'd style my hair for my appearance on the Letterman show? Which angle should I turn my head to best accommodate the flashing light of the paparazzi? But then in my imagination there is always that sickening moment where Dave says, "hey, aren't you just a mom?" My shoulders sag, the band laughs, and they cut to commercial. During the break, I'm replaced on the couch with that guy from "America's Got Talent" who can bend spoons with his rear end.

UNLESS... I had a really, truly fabulous name. Cher. Pink. Ghandi. These people had the right idea. If the masses love your name, they will inevitably love you. Oh to have such a name! Then David Letterman would prostrate himself before me and weep. Fame is just a name change away. Now if only I could think up a good one.

11 comments:

Susan M said...

Some of my favorite stage names:

Engelbert Humperdinck
Arnold George Dorsey

Conway Twitty
Harold Lloyd Jenkins

Tom Jones
Thomas Jones Woodward

Colleen said...

I would have just used my own name, but some French chick stole it:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colleen

Michemily said...

Sarah, if YOU don't have fame, there's no hope for the rest of us. You have online fame. I've never had 30 comments on my blog, let alone 30 visitors in a day! I've got Google Analytics to prove it!

compulsive writer said...

I always wanted to have a heavy metal girl rock band and call it "Expect no mercy."

But then I grew up.

But if I were to go solo...

Shiloah B. said...

George Micheal had the name! Man! ROFL

No one says my real name right so I couldn't keep the whole thing.

Maybe Shi...no idea on the last name! Maybe it will just be a first name...like Cher or Madonna!

Samantha said...

Yeah how do you get all those readers? I get so discouraged when I only have 1-2 comments. It makes me want to give up blogging.

I hate that "just a mom" thing! Can you imagine what the world would be like if there were no stay-at-home moms? Or no moms after childbirth? Bad, that's what.

Sarah said...

Samantha - you've GOT to try out the commenting service I use. It's called Pay-Per-Comment and depending on how much you want to pay, you can have a program automatically leave comments on your posts ranging from, "LOL" to "I am converted to the religion of your blog. Teach me your way, oh master." It's a small price to pay for the deep, emotional satisfaction that comes from having comments left on posts. Sign up today!

Clyde said...

Samantha, just make a fool of yourself -always! Right, Sarah?

Adrienne said...

Can I be the hot chick bassist in your new band, or is that spot filled already? We could do this! You can sing, right? No matter, we'll make Adam play drums. He can hit thing with sticks!

Kelly said...

My fav:

Cary Grant
Archibald Alexander Leach

...which is John Cleese's character's name in A Fish Called Wanda.

Th. said...

.

As for me, sheesh, I would be Thmazing.

What else?