It'll Get You in the End
Pixie loves signs. She finds it endlessly amusing that random signs around town try to tell us what to do. "What does that sign say, mommy?" she'll ask. "No dogs allowed," I reply and she breaks into giggles.At the arboretum last week Pixie saw a plaque on a park bench. "What does this sign say?" she asked.
"In loving Memory of Helen Burgess," I read.
"Why does it say that?"
"Because Helen died and she probably loved sitting in this garden when she was alive."
"Why did she die?'"
I then gave Pixie the Death 101 speech. When you get old, you die and go to heaven to live with Heavenly Father. Everybody dies when they get old and it's no biggie.
"But I don't want to die."
"Don't worry, little girls don't die. Only adults."
"Are you going to die?"
"Not yet, I'm not very old."
"Is Grandpa Bill going to die?"
"No, he's got a few years left."
"Is Grandma Helen going to die?" (her great grandmother)
"...uh...yeah."
Pixie let out a sad moan but c'mon, I can't very well keep everyone alive for her, can I? Trying to make her feel better I assured her, "but she'll get to go see Heavenly Father."
"What will he say?"
"Hi...?"
Pixie was unimpressed.
Okay, so I've got a ways to go on this parenting thing. Maybe by the time Cher is talking I'll have figured out the right way to have this conversation. But I doubt it. Any ideas out there on how to keep a two year old from worrying about death?
Comments
Um Hi! That's great!
Thanks for the idea, Susan M. I'll have to remember that one.
Love dad (also alive and well)
poor grandma helen, i hope she doesn't read this, because, i think i must believe my own teachings that nobody is ever going to die, and thus this post might really shake her sense of reality, it has mine.
I never know what to say either, so you're doing pretty well from where I'm looking!
Best wishes
They asked her questions like "Is my mom going to die?"
"yep.Your grandma too."
She was very matter of fact about it. I don't know why she was thinking about it or why she was talking about it, but she was not scared at all, but every other little kid freaked out!
After about 2 weeks or so when it has kicked the bucket don't forget to sing Disney's "Circle of Life" while burying it. Sooner or later she'll catch on.
Works like a charm I tell ya, ...LIKE...A....CHARM!!!!!
I just dress them in black and play emo day in and day out.
PFlower10- Two weeks???? I think we need to talk about your hamster skillz...
Children are supposed to fear death. We're just supposed to reassure them, and tell them comforting stories. Eventually, they'll learn to save their fear for something more deserving.
Like clowns. Or dentists.
Or dentist clowns.
Getting Penny a "disposable" pet is a good idea. Actually, any pet we'd get would be disposable. I have a pretty good track record of killing off things. None of my friends wanted me to have kids for that reason. Whoops!
It's a hard path to follow - on the one hand, I want Penny to be afraid of death for things like swimming in the pool by herself or running into the street but on the other hand, I want her to understand the whole big scheme of us going back to live in Heaven after this life and death being an essential part of the plan. I guess she'll be fine no matter what though. My kids have a way of not being as screwed up as they should be even though I'm their mom. Thank goodness!
::shudder::
Horrifying.
Don't worry, you think you don't know what to do, then someday when you are wracked with grief over a loss, your teenager will run away, leaving you thinking he's an insensitive twit, only to have him reappear at your side with a book that he searched through to find a sweet and touching passage about death- just to read to you to help.
This happened when we lost one of our pacas, I was actually outside next to her crying when my son did this.
So, somehow it all works out in the end.
Oh, and here's your chance. You might never actually OWN an alpaca, but come over ot my place, and you might get to NAME one!!
Slainte~
Rachelle