Wet Blanket
My feet gripped the unstable exercise ball and I concentrated on rooting my tailbone into the floor. "Deep breath in...expand those ribs...now release," came the barely audible voice of the instructor. I closed my eyes and slowly rolled my spine towards the mat. I was halfway down when I heard the tapping on the classroom window. It was Elva, the YMCA Childcare lady. She grimly pointed at me and walked away.
I shelved my equanimity and walked barefoot out of the room and towards Childcare. I had two girls in there today and hadn't really expected to make it through the hour long pilates class uninterrupted. "She's throwing up," said Elva with concern, pointing at my grinning three month old.
"She does that a lot. It's no problem," I replied casually and turned to leave.
"But her clothes are wet. Do you have dry clothing for her?"
"No, but she'd just throw up on them if I did. She's always spitting up. It's okay."
"But we can't leave her like this!"
"I'll take off her clothes."
"And leave her naked?"
"She's usually only in a diaper at home. She'll be fine, I'll just wrap her in her blanket."
Elva couldn't contain her disgust with me any more. "Dios Mio!" she exclaimed and shook her head in horror.
I quickly removed Cher's soaked onesie and tucked a blanket around her. Taking care not to meet the eyes of the horrified Elva, I made a break for the door.
"Square your shoulders and press through your arms, back and legs. Breath in and lower yourself onto the mat. Now exhale and press back up, making sure not to lower your hips..."
Tap Tap Tap
Elva was ready to play hardball. "She won't stop spitting up. We can't have her naked in here. The other kids could touch her. The toys might touch her. We can't be responsible if -"
"We'll leave," I said.
I could tell Elva was holding back anguished protests as I strapped my bare baby into her carseat. And yes, the carseat was wet with spit up as well. Nothing I could do about that. As I made a break for the car, I looked back to see Elva looking with pity at my two children. I often feel guilty for all kinds of misdeeds in mothering - underfeeding, yelling, dressing them in jumpers, but spit up? That one never made it on my guilt radar.
Elva and I have some history with this kind of stuff. She pulled me aside and questioned me when I dropped off Pixie after a doctors appointment."What happened to her legs?" she asked, pointing to the four band aids on Pixie's thighs.
"She had her 4 month immunizations today."
"Those are all from shots?"
"Yes."
"I don't think doctors give that many shots to babies."
"Mine did."
"No...babies don't get that many shots..."
So the late breaking news is that I abuse my children. Next time I go to the gym remind me to feed Cher Skittles beforehand. I'd love to see how Elva would react to that colorful situation. Taste the rainbow, baby!
Comments
Pants on Sundays, huh? Sounds like my hubby.
Had a babysitter on the phone with the police when I came home one night. Seems she was concerned my 2 year old had sustained some sort of brain damage.
His behavior was different than last time she sat him.
He kept falling over and flopping around.....
They were watching The Wizard of Oz at the time..... he was imitating the Scarecrow...... during "If I Only Had a Brain"...... indeed, a fitting song for the sitter, who BTW, had sat her last.
Once I got a visit from the police about something that had happened while I was in the hospital. I, yes me, I- was in trouble for the fact that my roomate had accidentally lost my 4 year old at the fireworks display. It actually went on MY record.
Bad enough that my mother didn't tell me my child was lost for an hour (he managed to find the fire trucks and hang out with the cops)while I was in intensive care, but that visit took the cake...
Slainte~
Rachelle
Reading it I was reminded of being at our old apartment, outside with my dog. At the time he was about 65-70lbs (at 5-6 months old). I woman came up to me and said, "He's very skinny. Have you taken him to the vet?" I kept waiting for animal control to show up and confiscate my dog for neglect!
You might want to ask at her next check up. It could just be reflux too, but that's also a symptom of an allergy sometimes.
My second one had a milk allergy as a baby, and yes, it was a total pain,but she grew out of it. It's a common one to grow out of.
Alternative retort:
"Maybe not in your country, Elva."
Practical tip:
Disposable bibs. Put on 10 at a time. Every time she spits up, take off soiled bib to unveil a clean and dry one underneath. I know, it's genius. Where's my million? Didn't you promise us all we would get rich?
"Rosa, we are from Colorado, this is warm to us."
seriously how are you this calm in the face of injustice???
Maybe you should sew a onesie out of waterproof fabric, then you can show her that Charlotte is dry underneath all of the spit up.