The Hostess Twinkies Recipe Party

It seemed like such a good idea. Nobody ever eats the food at my parties, why not have a little fun with the fare? So the Twinkies party was created. Guests were assigned one of the many Twinkies recipes to bring and despite some gagging, they obliged.

I never dreamed we would actually eat the stuff.

But there was something mysteriously enticing about the Twinkie fruit tarts with their zesty lemon filling, bursting with strawberries. And the Twinkie Truffles, covered with chocolate glaze and rolled in Butterfinger crumbles were too pretty not to pop in your mouth. The Twinkies were barely even visible in the Twinkie Toffee dish. Instead layers of soft cream, pudding and Heath bar melted in your mouth. And there was Twinkies sushi, Twinkie flag pie, Twinkie strawberry shortcake, a Twinkies sunflower, and delicate rounds of Twinkie cheesecake adorned with bright cherries. The table was choked with guests grabbing for the best goods. It was impossible to deny, these were some delicious treats.In no time the Twinkies Butterfinger Truffles were scarfed down by hungry guests. The Twinkies Toffee was next to go. We shamelessly stuffed the gooey delights treats down our throats. Everyone was doing it. There was no precedent for this kind of party. What were our limits? We pretended there were none. We played Twinkie Trivia to test our guests' knowledge of their gut-busting treats. The prize for first place was of course, a Twinkie.

I ate until I was sick. Took a break. Ate some more. Just when I thought I was going to pass out from sugar, someone told me I simply had to taste the fruit tarts so I obligingly slid one down. They were right, the tarts were simply divine. There were a few texture issues with the Twinkies sushi wrapped in green fruit roll-ups, but with their green cool whip wasabi and dried mango strips as ginger, you just had to try one anyway. Our party lasted four hours and by the time the last guests left, it was all Spike and I could do to drag ourselves to bed.

At 6 a.m. the next morning our kids woke up. Pixie came bounding to my bed giggling about the party and asking where all our friends had gone. I started to sit up but something was wrong. Terribly wrong.
"Spike, I can't go to church today."
"What's wrong, sweetie?"
"Twinkie hangover," I managed to groan then collapsed back into the bed. I had never felt so sick in my life. Spike took one look at my distorted face and packed Pixie to church without me so I could have a few hours to sleep off my Twinkies.

It was a glorious night. And I'm never eating a Twinkie again. It was all I could do to even write this post without having to take some more Pepto Bismol.

Long story short: If you are ever invited to a Twinkies party, sneak a few healthy treats from home in your pockets. No matter how beautiful the Twinkies look, do not be fooled. They are still Twinkies.