November 30, 2007

I'll Love You If

You're machine washable

You laugh at my jokes

You say I remind you of a famous movie star

You fit into the cup holder of my car

I can turn down your volume

You make me look skinny

You are odorless

You ask me for help when you need it

You help me even when I don't ask

You can teach me Chinese swear words

You are scratch-proof

You contain chocolate

You get me out of the house

You send me a Christmas card

You can go zero to sixty in four seconds

You've got a good bass line

You keep my feet warm


But if you love me, I'll probably love you anyways. Even if you do stink.



I will love you if you don't pee on my freshly made bed, all my feather pillows and my couch five minutes after I finish doing the laundry at the coin-op. Grrr Pixie!!

19 comments:

Liz said...

Hey! What happened to your "Dear Abby" section?

Anonymous said...

Yeah, where is it? and, when are you going to do the tag from karen.(BTW I am the one who told her about your blog, now you have to love me too:-)

Hollywood said...

Everytime I sit down to write the tag post, my kid pees on something. She just decimated my freshly made bed, the feather throw pillows and her crib. This is definitely "one of those days." I'll be surprised if I make it till tomorrow!

As far as the advice page, who am I kidding? I've got none. Anyone have any for me?

Anonymous said...

You go pixie!

Hollywood said...

She's going all right. Guess who got put to bed an hour and a half early today? If you guys could have heard the sounds of anguish coming from my house today you'd have nightmares for months. The only thing that has kept me going is knowing that I get to pick up the babysitter at 7:15 tonight and hit the town with Spike. I'm thinking some heavy drinking will do the trick.

kaff said...

So you are going to have regular instead of Diet coke??

Basic Black with Pearls said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Basic Black with Pearls said...

Uh, when Pixie visits my house for Christmas, I want her in diapers. Got it? I keep the Editor upset enough with the dog hair I leave all over her house.

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

I think it says something about my life that, for a split second, I thought it was a dog that peed on the bedding. I had to remember where I was (I am slow like that) before I came to my senses!

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

And for the record, I found you before Karen did. But she's much better at commenting. I have GOT to get my act together here and make my presence known more often.

Adrienne said...

I'm so confused... are these diaper leaks or is she just peeing on things instead of going to the potty?

Also, if any one needs me, I'm having my tubes tied. Again. Some more.

Nancy said...

Poor you! Its hard enough when my 7 month old's diaper explodes in my lap, but all over clean bedding (which in my house doesn't get washed as often as I like) - how awful!

Karen said...

I'm so with Burgh Baby's Mom! I was all thinking it was a dog. Because we've currently got 3 unhousebroken dogs in the house. At the holidays. Just don't even ask.

Anonymous said...

sorry I didn't mean to be so rude, I know how it is when kids pee all over EVERYTHING!

Hollywood said...

I totally understand how you'd think it was a dog. After all, "Pixie" is named after my sister's cat. I could have done a better job coming up with non-ridiculous code names for my poor kids!

And anon, rude? I'm kind of blind to rude. Lucky for me I guess!

Lindsay said...

AMEN!! Though in my case it's spit up more often than pee, but still. Couldn't this mess have been made BEFORE I hauled it all to the laundromat??

s'mee said...

yeah we had projectile recycled dinner last night from baby boy (who, because his sister is coming to a theatre near you April 1, is in need of a new nickname).

He would recycle and then just laugh his head off. It was like a really bad bottle of shampoo.

Recycle. Laugh. Repeat. like 4 times until his parental units gave up and went home.

All this while Mogli said "GROOOOOOSS!". Being the gramma has it's advantages.

Anonymous said...

Please put the advice page back<3

Jessica G. said...

Funny post! Can I ask you to pray for me? We are starting potty training on the Boy...