November 9, 2007

The Number Eight

Thanks to all who voted for me in the 2007 Weblog Awards for Best Parenting Blog. The final results couldn't have been better. I ended up 8th out of ten. While others may not be thrilled with a spot at 8, I find myself in good company. Here are some other fantastic 8's:

Eight: The atomic number of oxygen, my very favorite element, whichout which, I would die (and I'm not just being dramatic here).

The eight of days of Hanukkah. It's Christmas on steriods and a tempting reason to consider Judaism at my mid-life crisis.

Eight years old: The age Mormon children are baptized because Mormons don't believe kids before this age will be held accountable for their actions by God. My wicked stunt of chasing the screaming Olivia V. around the classroom with my booger fingers in kindergarten was a total freebie. Yes!

Eight maids a'milking from the song "The Twelve Days of Christmas." I've been a maid a'milking twice now while nursing my two children feel a fierce solidarity with this octet of dutiful lactators.

V8 Juice, my very favorite drink. Made from eight different vegetables and a bucket of salt.

"Section 8" is common slang for "crazy" based on the military's Section 8 discharge for mentally unfit personnel. I go "section 8" frequently, most often when people correct my grammar.

An Eighth is a measurement of marijuana, meaning an eighth of an ounce. But you already knew that, didn't you?

There are eight worlds on that fabulous Nintendo game, Super Mario Brothers. Or so I've heard. I've never been able to get past the fifth level.


And some 8's that never quite made it to glory:

The 8th Wonder of the World: The Bunny Museum in Pasadena, CA where over 22,000 bunnies are crammed into a 1400 square foot home.

The 8th Deadly Sin: Talking on your cell phone in a movie theater.

The 8th Dwarf from Snow White: Gassy. He didn't quite make the "cut" if you know what I mean.

The 8th Habit of Highly Effective People: Meth

The 8th Young Women's Value: Street Cred

On the 8th Day, God realized what he had done.

Eight of Nine from Star Trek, the older brother of Seven of Nine. Eight of Nine was the Borg who could cook Toaster Strudel with his mind.

J.K. Rowling's 8th Harry Potter novel. In her final book, Rowling ties up some loose ends. Harry embraces his true self and starts a cable show called, "The Snake Hunter" set in the Australian bush. Ron admits he really loves his mother's handknit sweaters and founds a trendy men's knitting club in Cambridge. Hermoine has a nervous breakdown and is euthanized by Hagrid and Draco Malfoy gains world acclaim from his New York Times Bestseller, "Tuesdays with Harry."


So you see, eighth isn't such a terrible place to be! Thanks, everyone.

Update: I just took a closer look at the results page of the awards. Apparently I came in sixth. I can't believe it. Six is a terrible number. Think class, how many wives did Henry the VIIIth have? That's right, six. Grudging congratulations to DaniGirl for her 8th place win. I almost had it! Why did you guys have to vote so much!?

Nov 11 update: Ummm...I'm 7th. And a moron.

25 comments:

Adum said...

instead of thinking of it as eight out of ten, how about thinking of it as eighth best parenting blog in the entire world. that's pretty good. kind of like the time a journalist asked andy roddick how he felt about being considered the second best tennis player in the world. roddick responded "pretty good. how would you feel if you were the second best journalist in the world?"

i laughed lots of times during this post. meth. ha. its funny because its true.

Lindsay said...

Congratulations! (And, yay, my vote counted for something!) Seriously, though -- you totally deserve it. Your blog is fantastic.

Also, I love your Eights. Hilarious, as always.

emma jo said...

Oh my gosh, how do you put forth so much information...it makes my head swim. After I write a post I am always thinking of more things I should have put in. So very creative and hilarious my friend.

Shiloh said...

Now you are making ME laugh!! I gotta get that 8th Harry Potter Book! ;)

Kerri said...

You totally crack me up! I would love to see what the YW would have to do to fulfill their Personal Progress goals for the newly added "Street Cred" value!

Rachel said...

Ha Ha! I never thought about "8 maids a milking" in that way...

CACKEL said...

this post was truly genius. the eights had me laughing SO HARD! Especially the Harry Potter one.

Also, when I checked the results, I thought that you were 7th. Not as good as "8," but definitely a cooler number than "6"! Anyway, congrats on the contest. It is an honor that you were even nominated!

Anonymous said...

why did we vote so much? Because we're sick and tired of voting for Benazir Bhutto, that's why.

Fine, It's Me said...

Okay, that was yer ma making that past anonymous post. I just want the world to know I NEVER post anonymously (don't get me mixed up with those other anon posters; I'm not them!), but tonight I was tired and didn't want to fill in the extra blanks. There is a house apparently on fire across the street and I am seriously rattled. But not rattled enough to miss thanking you for a screamingly grand post. You are the bomb. Never stop, Baby!

Mary said...

Great post! I voted from 2 computers at home for 3 or 4 days. I even tried to go to the voting site from my work computer but the DISD has restricted access to blogger related sites. Can't imagine why. Congrats on 6th!! My little boy with the broken arm told me his birthday was in a few days and he would be 6. So I told him what a great age that was and how he would love being 6. I even quoted him the AA Milne poem "Now We Are Six."

kelsey said...

"street cred" -- hilarious. "meth" -- hilarious.

Colleen said...

You ungrateful so-and-so. (I've always wanted to call someone a so-and-so.) Congrats on sixth place! Great post. You are so full of random freaky information.

Antique Mommy said...

You are hysterical. The best thing about the Weblog Awards was find great blogs, like this one.

Mousie/Paisible said...

yes 8 is a good number...as my thumbs are getting old lazy and stiff I have eight good fingers...and there're 8 colours on the button of my pull over...and i give all the family eight airy kisses...

amelia bedelia said...

hilarious. I laughed out loud, exactly 8 times.

Sue said...

Congratulations on Sixth! But you're number one with me!

(O.k., not really number ONE. But you're DEFINITELY in my top eight. Er, six.)

jjstringham said...

Um. Aren't you 7th?

Hollywood said...

You'd think I'd be able to figure this out. Yes, Jaime. It looks like I'm seventh. Why can't I get this straight?

DaniGirl said...

You're hilarious! Now I don't have to write a thank-you post, cuz I can just plagarize yours!!

(Congratulations on 6th place. Six is lovely, cuz it sounds like "sex" and that's not a bad thing, right? And we're not last, which is all I really cared about!)

DaniGirl said...

Oh wait, you can't count and I can't read. I give up!

Natalie said...

8 maids a milking - seriously my favorite line of them all.
And Led Zepplin's "Stairway to heaven" (which I don't listen to LZ, but I had a boyfriend in high school who loved this song, so I did too) is exactly 8 minutes long...
Congrats on being 8th, 6th, 7th. Whatever! you're blog is totally cool!

Melinda said...

that was really funny.

Shiloh said...

I think Meth is actually the 8th Habit of Effectively High people...

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