My Cougar Huntin' In-Laws

What follows is an unbelievable story. Simply unbelievable. And yet, I tell you anyway because I'm into futility.

Sunday night my father in law came home to his mountain Utah ranch and heard loud banging and crashing noises in his garage. He peeked inside and saw a full grown cougar thrashing around. He slammed the garage door, and ran inside to call all his sons to come out and see the cat. In no time, my brothers in law and assorted uncles and cousins were there with their guns and video cameras.

After they had all gotten looks at him through the cracked door, they raised the main garage door to let him out. The cougar didn't budge. So they shined headlights in at him, started shouting and throwing things at him. Nothin' doing. At this point, grandpa had the idea to run inside the garage where the cougar was, get in the cab of an old truck and turn on the engine, filling the garage with exhaust fumes. Eventually the cougar had the good sense to get out before they both died.

No, they didn't bother to call animal control. Don't interrupt again. Trust me, it gets better.

After the cougar was out of the garage, the discovered one of the family's best loved cats dead in the garage, its side ripped open. Unfortunately, the young grandkids were there to see it and were shattered.* We are guessing that two more cats were in the garage and were eaten as well.

The next morning, my brother in law went down to feed the horses at the barn. He found cougar tracks leading straight into the barn. Then he saw the dead horse. From the looks of it, its halter had got stuck on a bolt on a fence post and the horse had either strangled or broken its neck trying to escape. There were marks on its body indicating a cougar attack. It was a terrible, freakish way to die. The family took this death very personally as the horse, Fancy had become like a family member after 23 years of good riding. Revenge came into play.

Today, there were fresh cougar tracks around the sandbox outside my in-laws home and by the garage. Apparently the cougar was back for more delicious, finger lickin' kitties. My brother in law called his friend who had a cougar hunting tag and was ready to use it. The hunter arrived with his two $8,000 hunting dogs, GPS collars, and guns to put an end to the beast's rampage. They tracked him through the snow all morning, through a few more barns, over a river, up a mountain, and past a recent deer kill. The two hunting dogs finally treed the cougar on a steep mountain face and were going nuts barking at him while he roared back. Despite the thigh deep snow, the guys finally caught up. As soon as the cougar saw them, he began to jump from the tree. As he did, the hunter shot him three times with his .375 revolver. The cougar was hit, but not dead and ran down the mountain, dogs and hunters in close pursuit. One dog got snarled up in a fight with the cougar and if it hadn't been for his thick GPS hunting collar, would have had its throat ripped out for sure. Luckily, the hunters caught up before the cougar could finish off the injured dog and with one final shot, they killed the cougar.

The guys slid the bloody cat down the steep, snowy mountain until they hit a river. At that point, they picked him up and carried him back to the truck. They say he weighed about 100 pounds. By the time they got back to the truck, they were both covered in blood, frozen, and soaking wet.

See? I said it was an unbelievable story. I never lie.

So here's the deal with cougars. You are allowed to kill them without a license if they are on your property or eating your animals but you can't keep the pelt. Only tag holding hunters can. I think you can get one tag per year for cougars. But this type of cougar was especially dangerous because it had lost its fear of humans and probably would have attacked a small child with no hesitation. Boy oh boy, I can't wait to bring my kids back to grandpa's house to visit!

Okay, you can talk now. I know, they are all insane. But I say in this case, crazy makes for an awesome story and some even better photos. My brother in law sent these of the hunt. Warning for those with weak stomachs, some of these are bloody and graphic. View at your own peril. For those bloodthirsty hunters out there, feel free to click the photos to enlarge for some up close and personal gore.


Footprints outside the house

Footprints at the back door next to the sandbox


The freakish death of Fancy the horse begged for vengeance.


Following the trail up the mountain past the deer carcass


The dogs attacking the cougar right after the killing gun shot



Carrying the cougar through the river back to the truck




*My niece Chelsea is especially torn up devastated about the whole thing. She's about 10 and it was her cat that they found ripped open in the garage. The cat's name was Crookshanks, or Crookie for short. This is what her father had to say about her reaction:

It was one of those tragic moments when we discovered poor Crookie. He was born 3 years ago on Chelsea's birthday, and has been her best kitty ever since. Those of you who were here for Christmas probably remember her heartfelt song "crookie the orange kitty" sung to the tune of Rudolph.

On the way home Chelsea paraphrased her Warriors books (books about tribes of cats living in the forest) to come up with an epitaph. It was something along the lines of "crookshanks lived a more interesting life and died a more heroic death than most cats. Some cats get old and sick, others get run over, but Crookshanks died with fangs bared and claws unsheathed, (maybe protecting the other cats we think?) He now joins Starclan in the great Silver Pelt (the milky way)."

Chelsea wants to make sure crookie is buried in Katalia, which is her imaginary land up by the water tank. I don't know how I am going to dig in the frozen dirt, but I'll have to try. She thinks that now maybe Vladekia and Blue Star (the other two cats) might get along better, because she thinks they were both rivals for Crookshank's attentions. (but we fear they might be dead somewhere...we didn't see them tonight).

A few weeks ago for Speech class, Chelsea had to make a Worry Chart listing the top ten things she worried about. She listed "my cat getting killed or injured"......and that was the only thing she could think of to be worried about. The rest of the chart was left blank.