February 29, 2008

My First and Last Blogger Lunch

Today is the day. My first official "blogger lunch," a physical meeting of local bloggers to get together and talk about how lame we are in person. Yes, I'm nervous. But not for the regular reasons. I'm pretty sure my hair will look fab and my conversational skills will be up to task, but it's the other factors that are making my eye lid twitch.

1. Supposedly, I was the only person to respond to the invitation so it will just be me, the host, and a crew of her family. Or was I really the only person invited? Is this criminal targeting?

2. I was convinced by the hostess to bring my children along although I'd already arranged alternate babysitting. Does she want to take out as many Flakes as possible?

3. We are meeting at a "secret" location. I'm supposed to come to Downtown Disney and wait between two shops at which point I will be met escorted to an undisclosed location.

4. The only picture I have of my hostess is her avatar, a pirate. Now I know the movie industry would have us think otherwise, but pirates don't have the best reputation when women and children are involved.

5. I was asked to bring cash. Sure, it's just a measly $5 to pay for our lunch foods, but that's $5 that they'll beat me with crowbars and leave me gasping in a puddle for.

6. It's Leap Day. Technically, this day shouldn't exist. So when I go missing, nobody will even notice.

I leave for the lunch in two hours. Please don't kill me, S'mee. But in case I don't come back, go looking for an overweight pirate wearing Birkenstocks. He'll deny everything but look in his back pocket and you'll find my $5. I will be avenged!

27 comments:

The Wiz said...

Oh, I want to meet s'mee! I'm sure it will be fabulous.

If not, take a cell phone and text "I'm still alive" every five minutes to your husband. If he misses a text, he'll come running!

Just a little tip I picked up from a crappy mystery novel. (Of course, the murderer figured out the text thing and kept texting anyway, but it all worked out in the end.)

Hollywood said...

"(Of course, the murderer figured out the text thing and kept texting anyway, but it all worked out in the end.)"

What great words of comfort, Wiz. Sheesh.

Jill said...

If you hear a clock ticking, get out of there FAST!

bythelbs said...

She did say it all worked out in the end.

Have fun!

Chris & Allie said...

Oh come on! It's in the happiest place on earth, how bad could it be? ;) If you think about it, s'mee didn't really have any ideas of his own and really didn't have much in the way of bravery. You should be okay. Well, I guess this is a woman instead of a man, and not really a pirate anyway, and...

Jamie J said...

I was going to go, but didn't want to drive up there. I'm just not feeling up to it. Sorry everyone else backed out too, but you'll have fun!!

Carolyn said...

And how come no bloggers live near me?? Apparently California is just cooler.

dandelionmama said...

S'mee is friends with someone I know- you'll be just fine! Have fun- and hey, you're in DISNEYLAND- it can't go badly!

Abby said...

That's funny. Shame on you for making your death so funny! I can't very well feel sad and laugh at the same time. If I know S'mee, and I feel like I do bc Peter Pan is on ALL THE TIME here, he's a great big softy--easily persuaded. You'll do just fine! (It's his puppet master, Captain Hook, that I don't trust for a second.)

Jessica G. said...

When you're dead, can I have all the Flaky Friends? ;)

I went to my first blogger lunch last week. I wasn't worried about being murdered or robbed. Nope. My concerns were far more serious...what if I wasn't funny?

Perla said...

Oh, that was a good laugh. Thanks. I needed that today. My Deedle is SO in love with Peter Pan that she begs to watch it at least once per day (not the animated version). Every time S'mee comes on she tells me, "He's really nice, Mom. Don't worry. He's really nice." So, I think you'll be fine.

Lover of Sweets said...

Oh Hollywood, how you make me laugh. So, I am both Perla and Allison's sister-in law. I've been lurking on your bloggy blog for the last couple of days and quite enjoying myself, I must say. I have some self-defense tips for you: crumple up your $5 into a ball and throw it as far away from you as possible, once your assailant has gone for the money-you run! Anyway, good luck with that.
Oh, I said "some" tips, huh? Well, I wouldn't want to cheat you, so...roundhouse kick to the face or use your elbow (anywhere really, it makes for a nice sharp bony weapon) or the classic head-butt works great.

LAHansen said...

He he he...you are too funny!

compulsive writer said...

I was so nervous about my first IRL meeting I arranged to bring mutual friends.

For the second one I went early to Carrabbas and dropped off a birthday card for the guest of honor, then stood everyone up.

I got to ride on a Harley for the third and by then I knew a lot of the local bloggers so I chilled a little bit. I've met quite a few bloggers since then. Does that make me promiscuous?

(Somewhere in there I even offered to set up a blogger lunch for you next time you were in town.)

Most recently I met a blogger with whom I didn't have any mutual friends and this time her husband was nervous about her meeting a stranger. (Me? I'm harmless!)

And finally, just two weeks ago I met jennifer b. outside The Golden Horseshoe at Disneyland. I'd just ridden in the second seat at Splash Mountain and she did an excellent job picking out the drowned rat.

Hope you had a fabulous time.

Hollywood said...

Holy smokes - I just got back from the lunch and it was SO FUN! Those ladies are really amazing. Meeting in person is way better than the internet relationship. S'mee, thanks so much for all the work you put into the lunch and Chronicler, the food was spectacular! The cake balls (not an STD it turns out) were so good that I actually had quite a stomach ache on the drive home from eating too many. And of course, Susan M is as expected - calm, cool, and collected. I can't wait to do it again! Of course, everyone else showed up with presents to give out except me. I'm a loser like that. So a big horray for the lunch! Sorry you couldn't make it, Jaime - next time we'll figure out a way to get you there :)

Susan M said...

That was fun. "Calm cool and collected" really just means autistic, but you should all know that by now. Sarah is just as cool in person. She's taller in real life.

S'mee, chronicler and S'mees son/daughter-in-law are all terrific people.

I got lost on my way home and was 40 minutes late picking my son up from school. Stupid Orange County, everything looks the same wherever you are.

Karen said...

I'm so glad it turned out to be fun and not frightening. It would be cool if more bloggers got together.

Hollywood said...

Susan - is that your insecurity trying to come out? Seriously - I felt like a caffinated chihuahua through the whole thing and thought you might be secretly laughing at me for being such a spaz.

Enjoy Kitty McFee! I'm so glad she's going to a good home :)

Susan M said...

I didn't notice you being hyper. I really am borderline autistic, though (if not full blown), so it's not like I'd notice. :)

I'm gonna do a post over at nine moons about our lunch. I'll send you guys the pictures I took. All two of them.

chronicler said...

I had a blast! Who knew Hollywood wasn't just smoke and mirrors???! Everyone, me included, had a great time and I'd do it again in a minute. Just not tomorrow!

I must say, hollywood looks exactly like her picture!

Hollywood said...

Actually Chronicler, that was my stunt double. She's good, huh?

Kels said...

This post was HILARIOUS! I hate to say it, but I almost kinda wish you hadn't said anything more afterwards until like, tomorrow or Sunday to keep me sitting on my thumbs as to your whereabouts... ;-) I am glad you're okay... but I love suspense!

The Pea said...

Can you believe she is my aunt! I love that woman. I am so jealous you dot to see her

Julie said...

Okay, so I got really nervous because you hadn't updated to say that you were in fact alive and not left for dead in Downtown Disney...

But then I read the comments that you posted, and I am glad that it was a good time :)

S'mee said...

So much for my plan to kidnap everyone. I hate it when a plan falls apart! Arrrrrg!

And Hollywood, you forgot to tell everyone just how close that avatar comes to the real McCoy, right on down to the Birkenstocks!

And evidently ya'all got home a heck of a lot sooner than I did! By my clock it's now 10:28! Yikes! (I actually made it home by 5:30 but still, yikes!) Let's do this again soon!!!

mommyjmo said...

So funny! I'm one of Colleen's friends and I have to say I absolutely love reading your blog. It's hysterical and I read it every work day morning so that I'm in a good mood instead of grouchy over having to go to work. Thanks for the laughs! I'm so jealous you were at Downtown Disney!

tracy m said...

Now I'm REALLY jealous! I've met a lot of other bloggers, but this was lunch I would have LOVED to attend.

Susan M. was my very first blog, and my very first blog friend!