February 5, 2008

Super Tuesday Voting

The most entertaining aspect of voting day is interacting with the volunteers working at my polling place. It's always the same group of old ladies. Today's voting failed to disappoint. I brought my 10 month old, Cher with me in her stroller.

"Name, dearie?" asked the first woman at the registration table.
"Flake, like snowflake" I replied. Another woman, apprently not having heard our exchange asked loudly, "Name?"
"Flake. F like frank, L-A-K-E."
"What?" she screeched.
"F-L-A-K-E"
"She said Flake," one croaks to another. After a few seconds of confusion, my name was located on the list.
"You're a Republican..." asks the first woman, the smile draining a bit from her eyes. Republicans are the Untouchables of Los Angeles. "Make sure you use the appropriate booth," she said, and indicated the row of empty Republican booths next to the crowded Democrat ones.

I put in my vote for Mitt "too-legit-to-quit" Romney and tried to read through the state propositions. The old women sat at their table five feet behind me and began talking about me in deafeningly loud whispers.
"Did you see her baby? She's practically naked! She's going to die of pneumonia."
"I know! Babies can't tell you when they are cold. Can you imagine in this weather?"
"Does she look cold to you? Maybe I should go feel her foot..."
"Death of pneumonia I tell you. Incredible." And on and on they went. Humanitarians that they are.

I finally finished voting and turned to leave. Giving the disapproving ladies a big smile, I turned for the door.
"Does she feel cold?" asked the ringleader? I gave Cher's leg a squeeze.
"Nope. Snug as a bug."
"But you can't take her outside like that!" In California, today's temperature of 65 degrees is lethally cold.
"Don't worry, my car is just outside the doors. She'll be fine."
"Babies can't tell you when they are cold!" piped up another.
I wasn't sure what they wanted me to do. Trying to meet them halfway, I said, "maybe this will help," and I slapped my "I Voted" sticker on Cher's forehead. "All better. Thanks, ladies!"

They were starting up their protests again as I beelined for the door. Another year, another insensitive Republican casting her vote. Have you ticked off your old ladies yet today? Get out and vote!

30 comments:

the wiz said...

Mitt needs all the California votes he can get! You go!

Chris & Allie said...

Ha! They like republicans around here, but they don't keep their mouths shut any better! Old ladies just don't think that we know how to raise our children.

Janell said...

Don't worry. After you left they resolved to give a dozen stickers to the next naked baby who was carried through their doors. =)

Hollywood said...

It's funny because it's true, Janell!

Go MITT!

Barbaloot said...

I thought the old-lady phenomenon was a Utah thing! How fun that we all get that experience. Last time I went they were trying to figure out the computer voting...not a good idea.

April said...

ROFL! I love the fact that your response was to put the sticker on her forehead! .... perfect!

Carolyn said...

65 degrees??? We'd be out running around in shorts if it was that warm in February! Ohio is not so toasty.

Karen said...

Good for you for braving insane old women bent on giving unsolicited advice to vote!

You have Dem and Rep booths?! You'd probably laugh hysterically that we meet in the maintenance shed for the township, closed off from each other by curtains hung on clothes line.

Hollywood said...

Really, Karen? That's pretty yokel if I do say so myself. I shiver to think of what outdated method you guys are using to vote ;)

I was surprised by the Dem/Rep booth thing. I don't know why they feel compelled to do that. I didn't have any Democratic candidate choices on my ballet. What if I'd decided at the last minute to vote Dem? They just assume I wouldn't? Strange.

jadine said...

High-five for the sticker thing! :)

emma jo said...

Today is just the kind of day I need someone to say something irritating to me...I might get in a fist fight...a fist fight over one of my children would be kind of fun. I too slapped a "I Voted" sticker on my kid's forhead...we must be kindred spirits.

kaff said...

I did my absentee ballot last week, its not nearly as entertaining. Oh well.

Kels said...

Oh my gosh... I can't say that I would've been as nice to the little old women...!

kibler said...

oh you make me laugh!

seastar64 said...

You have a hilarious life! I'm sure you've heard this before, but you should write a book. :)

Nancy Sabina said...

I once had an old lady follow me around the grocery store the whole time I was there insisting that my baby was too young to be out of the house, and didn't I have family to take care of me, and where was my husband, did I HAVE a husband, etc. Crazy ladies. This was with my third baby, so I knew well enough to just ignore her - but she was PERSISTENT. I finally ditched her at the check out stand with a "thanks for the advice" thrown over my shoulder as I rolled my eyes at the checkout lady and ran for my life.

Anonymous said...

That "crazy old lady" is my mother-in-law. She complains when I won't eat soft cheese imported from Europe (unpasturized) when I'm pregnant, but won't leave me alone about the danger of eating cold cereal.

She clips articles out of the newspaper that she thinks I need to read to become a better parent. And talks about how I parent in "loud whispers" to anyone who will listen.

Just be glad you only have to deal with them when voting.

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

Surely there will be an entire generation missing when they all die of pneumonia because us Moms don't know how to dress them appropriately.

Susan said...

I'm originally from Kentucky and the 60's would have been like summertime there, but now that we've been in the South for 4 years I totally understand the meaning of becoming "climatized." I love your response though!!!

Jessica G. said...

Oh that was rich! I would have loved to have been in the room when you did that...

Here in Utah, Republicans are a dime a dozen. It's those darn "independents" that we fear will lead our children into temptation.

Julie said...

The blue hairs at my polling place are mean and nasty.....

They almost made me cry yesterday

Jill said...

Your sticker placement was perfect! Don't we lose the majority of our body heat through our heads? I'm sure the sticker kept her nice and warm:0)
My "Old ladies" went on and on about how cute my little boy is, however, he was wearing a coat;0)

Rhianna said...

Thats strange bc in Texas the mean old ladys are republican and would be talking trash about my democrat ways. You know, spiked hair, 15 abortions, doesn't believe in God, etc way that I am. LOL Totally joking. I am democrat but hair isnt spiked.



PS I dont want any hate mail. It was only a joke people.

Calidaho said...

I don't know what's worse: being a Republican or a bad parent. :)

Calidaho said...

Rhianna, you forgot about your illicit drug use and appreciation for murderers and rapists. And you would love to see higher taxes---higher, higher, higher! :)

Rhianna said...

Calidaho, your right how could I forget those. Oh it must be the drugs!

brad r said...

Wait a minute...I thought you were voting Ron Paul?

Today is a sad day - Mitt is out. It's discouraging and disheartening for all his supporters and especially so for him and his family. He would have been an incredible president.

Mitt supporters now have a dilemma: Do we hold our nose and vote for McCain to prevent a Dem presidency and hope that he won't raise my taxes and do even more warmongering.
Or do we stick it to McCain for making our Man Mitt look bad and write-in Romney on principle? The Repubs would fall flat on their face and he'd have another, a much better shot in 2012?
Or do I vote third party. As much I think Ron Paul is a little unstable, I actually like the basis for his policies.

Democracy is a frustrating blessing.

A. said...

I love it. I work in an old folks' home and usually have my 5 mo-old with me. It can get pretty bad as far as nosey old ladies go.

DKAZ said...

Great comeback! You know I live in a place where it's get bone chilling cold too (AZ) and nope, no cases of pneumonia yet!

Nancy Sabina said...

I'm going to vote tomorrow here in VA. I'll be sure to dresss my kiddies warmly to avoid all those comments from the little old ladies. Although, my experience in VA shows that it tends to be way-over-zealous college students rather than little old ladies.