March 4, 2008

A Frosty Remedy

Today was bad. Bad, bad, bad. My three year old peed on the carpet three times. I sewed for 8 hours trying to get through my pig, beaver and penguin orders, I couldn't smile at my husband for the life of me and my tenants wouldn't stop calling. At 7 pm I was falling asleep at the sewing machine and ready to hit the sack. As I got up and headed for my bedroom I remembered that I'm on a diet. Brilliant. That meant I could go off my diet. And we all know that's the best imaginable way to finish up a failed day.

Hoping the Carb Gods weren't watching, I snuck to the kitchen and dumped all our remaining ice cream into a big bowl, poured melted Dove chocolate over the top and then topped it all off with a six inch tall tower of whipped cream. As I carried the bowl carefully to the couch, trying not to tip my precarious Leaning Tower of ReadyWhip, I was already starting to feel better. I know people would categorize this as "emotional eating," but there is no denying that my ice cream tonight was able to salvage the 15 previous hours of torture. I'm surprised nobody has bottled the stuff or incorporated it in a multivitamin. Even half an hour after I finished my binge, my insides are still happily chilled from my frosty medicine. Has anyone ever felt this satisfied after eating celery? I doubt it. I almost feel good enough to finish up some sewing - almost.


Shopping list for the week:

One Gallon Vanilla Ice Cream
Slave laborers

21 comments:

seven said...

Hope the rest of your week goes better!

Rebecca said...

This post made me giggle. Before I got pregnant, I worked at a mental health facility. Our girls were VERY controlling about food. The technical term we used in clinical supervision meetings was "self-medicating."
Freud would say that it all goes back to the soothing connection we felt during breastfeeding. Makes the icecream a little less enjoyable to think of it in that way. Sorry.
I use Twix candybars. One a day keeps my shrink away. :)

Karen said...

I think we're living parallel lives. Because 30 shirts weren't enough hanging over my head, I just took on an entire crib set plus extras to be finished and mailed for a birthday on the 29th. I just ordered the fabric last night. I fear I won't be getting much sleep for a few weeks.

Thank goodness we have 2 birthdays this month. All that cake and ice cream will do wonders.

Jill said...

I've just thrown away my shopping list. I'm going to use yours instead, except I'll get Rocky Road instead of vanilla.
And some Cadbury creme eggs.

This week I noticed how wide awake I am at night. I realized it was due to the diet Dr. Pepper I've been drinking with dinner.
Today, I had Diet Dr. Pepper and chocolate for breakfast.

The breakfast of champions!

BTW, where can I get some of those slave laborors?

S'mee said...

Rebecca, I don't mean to be the bearer of bad news, but honey, *after* you delivered you began work at a mental health facility too!

Hollywood, go to Costco. They have a fairly decent vanilla and you get TWO half gallons for the price of one. You can claim the large quantity as "emergency preparedness", because frankly, that's what it is.

Hollywood said...

I have an even better idea, S'mee. The girls and I are headed to Disneyland for the day. Go Mickey!

Bonnie C said...

I giggled. Thanks. I have never even known a rice cake to make you feel that good either. No matter what you put on it. Have a good day.
Bonnie

The Wiz said...

Absolutely 100% agree. Ice cream is awesomeness.

And I regularly have chocolate and Dr, Pepper for breakfast. There is soemthing wrong with this?

Boy Mom said...

Good little Mormon girl that I am, when I need frosty comfort its Starbucks' Mocha Java Chip Ice Cream, if you like the flavor of coffee you simply must succumb. It's heaven on sooo many levels,first it's Coffee so it's a little bad, the chocolate in it is to-die-for, and the caffeine and sugar can jump start even the worst awful day. I must say, melting dove chocolate over it (thanks for the idea)and sprinkling it with crumbled heath bar might put it over the top as the best anti-depressant ever.

Carolyn said...

You're on a diet? People still attempt to do actual diets? Are you trying to lose a few pounds just to have it come back in 6 months?

Hey, I'm not saying that I'm perfect. Far from it. But I'm just surprised that people still attempt diets. They just don't work. Restricting foods just makes you crave them even more. And eventually you'll cave in. Such as when you have a terrible day.

I am a total emotional eater. Bad day=big bowl of ice cream. I'll even go out of my way to the store to buy some. Yummy! I can't do diets. I will sometimes try to eat less of the junk foods I love. But there's no way I can cut out my favorite foods. So I exercise instead.

Hope you have a better day. I understand the pee on the carpets thing. I feel sorry for the next folks who buy my house. Yikes!

Kate said...

I'm a self medicating eater- but I go for Oreo Cakesters or else chips, both are equally bad but wonderfully delicious.

bythelbs said...

Hey, I'm all for whatever gets you through the day. Seriously. Right now I'm working on a half gallon of Dreyer's Girl Scout Cookie Tagalong ice cream. Well, not right at this very moment, but it's in my freezer. I think I hear it calling...

Thursday Girl/Hollis the Cat said...

What is it about vanilla ice cream and chocolate syrup!? It's just simply...awesome...I love it especially when I leave the ice cream on the counter for about 10 minutes to get it nice and soft...

...my cat likes it, too. When I finish, I let her lick the bowl. But not too much, I don't think the chocolate is good for kitties...maybe that is why she is so...er...'big-boned'...

Shiloh said...

I call Dr. Pepper my "drug of choice". (Cherry Coke is my "switch fix"). When I'm stressed a Dr. Pepper to me is almost as good as a xanax. I'd give up most ANY other sweets before I'd give up my Dr. Pepper. If things ever get really, really bad, I'm moving to Waco so I can get the cane sugar Dr. Pepper all the time. ;)

Rebecca said...

s'mee-1000 imaginary points for making me laugh out loud. Not just chuckle. LAUGH. :)

Davis Family said...

In order to drown my sorrows, I had a big bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream every night before bed when I was pregnant with number 2...that is until I found out that two of the leading causes of heartburn in pregnancy are mint, and chocolate. No wonder I was going through a bottle of tums a night! Anyways...random? Yes I know...point is, there's nothing like a heaping serving of ice cream to smooth our your worries.

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

There is nothing wrong with a big ol' bowl of ice cream on occassion. It can fix just about anything.

Chris & Allie said...

That's funny, the redi-whip just goes straight into my mouth. None of this leaning tower on top of the ice cream stuff. Sometimes it leaks out of my mouth a little though, okay, a lot.

Sue said...

I thought I should test out your theory, so I just had a pint myself.

Hope your week gets better Hollywood...

dietcokegrrl said...

Mmmmmm, this makes me want to run out to Rite Aid (you know for Thrify Ice Cream) to get a half gallon of Chocolate Malted Krunch--it is absolutely the BEST.

There is one right there in South Pas...and the people there are nicer than the ones at the Colorado Blvd. location...you know you want to go!! Well, I do anyway...

Take this chocolate quiz to see if you really have a problem...I scored a 20. Seriously.

http://mamamelodrama.blogspot.com/2008/02
/quiz-for-you.html

Kati said...

This is why I jump from hobby to hobby. I get really sick of making what everyone wants to buy. It is really fun for the first 5,6, even 7 sales. Then...time to move on...at least for me. I am sure you have a WAY longer attention span than me. HEE HEE.
Good Luck. I'm not an ice cream fan...but a VERY cold Pepsi can pretty much fix anyting for me.
Kati