Uh, this is awkward...

So here's the deal. I've been going through another one of those "I'm done blogging" phases. It takes so much mental energy to come up with something smart and interesting - mental energy that I could be using on maintaining my sanity as a mother. The past two weeks of not blogging have been great. I've really enjoyed not stressing over getting up a post every night and not running into my room to check comments every ten minutes. But at the end of the day, the fact remains: I have something to say. And a woman with something to say combined with an enthusiastic audience is an impossibly enticing combination for me.

So fear not, my darling stalkers, I'm back. We've missed out on a lot of great content from the past two weeks but I'll get back on the horse and continue broadcasting my follies for all to snigger at.

The toy biz isn't slowing down and I'm still happily taking orders for my poor, misunderstood stuffed animals. Yesterday a friend asked to buy my least favorite animal - an ugly, poorly made hamster that made me cringe every time I looked at him. I was appalled. I was sure she only wanted him to buy him to make me feel good and felt sorry for her at having to actually take him home. So I made a newer, better hamster that I felt met my quality control requirements (the first one in the link). I brought both over to her and let her know that she didn't really have to buy the ugly one. But she claimed to have some deep personal connection with him and refused the updated model. Every lid has it's pot. Good riddance.

Let's see...what else have you missed...

Outback Steakhouse. Spike and I went, lured by the shockingly calorific "Blooming Onion." I've always been intrigued by this stinky treat. The onions they use were specifically designed to be "bloomable" by Texas A&M University and they were inspired by the Japanese style of cutting vegetables into floral designs. Back in the day, I'd even eat some of the darn things. But seriously, folks. The Blooming Onion has 2,300 calories - and that's without the dipping sauce. So even though I'd entered the restaurant set on braving it, in the end I wussed out and instead ordered the onion soup. Alert to anyone going to Outback: DO NOT ORDER THE ONION SOUP! You think the Blooming Onion is oniony? Somehow they concentrated the flavors of a million onions into a tea sized cup. My husband and I could only take a few bites. When Kim, our waitress came by I asked, "have you tried the onion soup?"
"No."
"It's really oniony."
"Really."
"No. Like REALLY oniony. We can't even eat it."
Poor Kim. She was a sweetie and took away the soup and replaced it with an non-onion dish for the morons who ordered onion soup but didn't like onions.
I tried to make it up to her. On the receipt we left on the table I wrote, "We heart Kim! DEATH TO ONIONS!" To be fair, the rest of our meal was fantastic. I love a good, bloody steak. Who are these idiots who get them fully cooked? Plus, a word to the Outback Lovers out there, Outback has some special menu items until the end of April that are out of this world in celebration of Outback's 20th Birthday. If you couldn't tell, I'm back on the low-carb diet again and fixated on meat. I'm making Spike take me back to Outback next week.

And last of all, Happy Easter, everyone! I passed on doing Easter baskets because hey, my kids won't remember anyways, and we had a fun egg hunt at the park instead. Good times for all. Anyways, my post tomorrow will be more organized, but I just wanted to make the point that I'm not abandoning the bloggosphere, try though I may. I've discovered that if I don't document the contents of my head, I'm nothing more than a walking sack of bones.

Oh, and apparently Easter makes Cher mad. Go figure.