April 23, 2008

Just Gettin' Out All that Pent Up Goodness!

On the joyous occasion of my overcoming a dire case of writer's block, I find I have about 50 things I want to post about today. Alas, I fear I've lost many potential posts that could have been written in the past few weeks. But a commenter in my previous post suggested a good dose of "Anonymous Comment Day" to get the party started again and I whole heartedly agree that a little vent session could be in order. I'll kick it off with my anonymous comment:

This is not Hollywood. This is an anonymous, genderless, typist located somewhere obscure on the planet earth.

I HATE when the cashiers at the grocery store ask me to donate money to causes. There I am, spending $6 on a tub of Moose Tracks ice cream, and they ask with a look of concern if I'd like to make a small donation to help children with cancer. Heavens! Let me snork down my ice cream in peace! I always say no. Mostly because I hate kids with cancer. (Wow. Please detect the massive amounts of satire in what I just wrote! But no. I never donate to causes I know nothing about.)


So let's have it. It's anonymous day, folks. Say what you will. Here are some topics you could gnaw on if you're coming up empty:

Recycling: do you? Don't you? Do you really just hate the whales and recyle just because it looks good on your eHarmony profile?

Hollywood Flakes: Can you ever get over two weeks of the silent treatment? How can you live without us? Are you going to make me pay for your therapy?

Your bikini body: Are you going to make it this year? How's the battle of the chub coming?

Sordid details: Go wild. PG-13 wild, that is.


Now go forth, post anonymously. For heavens sake, ANONYMOUSLY. I say it again and again, but some of you poor people are just calling out for help and keep signing your name to your deepest, darkest secrets. It makes for some good drama I guess.

85 comments:

Anonymous said...

I hate to cook. And I pick my nose.

Anonymous said...

I am so happy for anonymous day!

Recycling: Yes I recycle. I believe in reduce, reuse, recycle. I go so far as to wash my ziploc bags and reuse them.

Hollywood Flakes: I was more worried about your need for therapy than mine. (Your lack of posts for so long was rather scary though you did produce awesome animal friends)

Your bikini body: I am overweight and not happy (darn baby weight). Probably put the cookies down and exercise.

Sordid details: The only time I swear is when my husband MAKES me really mad. I am a closet eater, meaning I like to pig out when I am alone and unseen. This stay at home mom things isn't good for my weight because I am alone way to much.

Anonymous said...

Recycling is for fools. I refuse to be sucked into anything even remotely linked to the environmentalist movement because it's crap. I cut down trees on Earth day.

Anonymous said...

To retain the attitude of the previous poster, I don't believe in global warming. I think it's a total waste of time, energy, and $$$ to worry about something that isn't actually a provable phenomenon.

And I gained over 50 pounds with my first pregnancy and didn't get a single stretch mark. Suckas.

Perla said...

i moonlight as a topless dancer for extra cash to buy little einstein videos

Perla said...

oh crap. not again. thats me that forgets the anonymous thing.

Anonymous said...

i have dreams about my dead ex-boyfriend a lot and it really pisses me off because i feel like an adulteress

Anonymous said...

My new swimsuit is WAY too sexy. Not intentional... but I did buy it from Victoria's Secret. The plus side: it shows off my new perky breasts (yes, they are silicone!)

I like my youngest child the best

Whoever displays candy at the checkout isle should be linched

Anonymous said...

I only shower every 3-4 days. Sometimes I go as long as a week.

Anonymous said...

my ex-boyfriend pops up in my dreams too and it drives me nuts. leave me alone!

bikini? ha. i don't think so.

recycling is awesome. trees are nice.

i don't wash my hands every single time i use the bathroom, ha ha. and i cannot for the life of me brush my teeth in the morning! but i have ZERO cavities!

Hollywood said...

Okay - Perla just proved that non anonymous comments are MUCH better! You, my friend, are hysterical :)

Anonymous said...

My big fear is that I'll make an anonymous comment and then someone will track me down using my IP address and I'll regret it for the rest of my life!

I won't be wearing a bikini this summer, but I do feel good because I'm been exercising. I jogged for 2 whole minutes yesterday! This is more jogging than I've done in months!

Hollywood said...

Yeah. I don't do that IP stalking thing. Promise. Double promise. Unless you make a very specific threat about coming to my house and murdering all my stuffed animals, your secret identity remains unchallenged.

Anonymous said...

I fantasize about having my only two red-headed granddaughters over for a sleepover. Waaaahhhhh!

Anonymous said...

People who attempt to plan their own wedding, but only end up with chaos! It is SO worth the extra consumer debt to at least hire a one-day planner to simply organize your wedding day itinerary and make certain all the relevant people know. If I have one more "oops, but that's not what you're supposed to wear at that time," or "oh yeah, and could you pretty please give my BFF a ride to yet another location" I might consider screaming. I adore my friend, I like her fiance, and I'm glad they're getting married. HOWEVER, as a person in an already busy life I resent being given the details at the last minutes! Especially when I've been asking for them for weeks!

ARGH.

PS. I'm considering sending a bag of sod to the next person who uses their wedding as a fund raiser.

Anonymous said...

Wow. Wedding as fund raiser. That hits it on the head. I don't like it when people list their registry on the invitation.Or tuck in a card with the registry info. Yes, it's convenient for the couple. Just mail out the announcement, give them a link as to where to send the gift, and collect. But if your friends want to give you a gift, since they know you or your affianced, they can inquire where you are registered. Let the announcement or invitation be just that.

Whoa, you've got me going. Another tackfest: having a huge registry with all sorts of wish list things like television sets, camping equipment, iPods, etc. Sort of like using your guest list as Santa Claus. A registry should be to help you set up house, not your back yard. If you really want to buy a giant screen TV, cash your gifts in and go for it, Homer. But don't ask us for it.

Times have changed. But tacky is still tacky.

Anonymous said...

I made sure to click "anonymous" before I began...otherwise I might forget!

On the topic of recycling - we DON'T because we would have to pay in our area. Why the heck should I have to pay money to save our planet? Here's a dumb thing for ya. I use Chico bags (cloth grocery bags) but I am obsessed with my abundant stock of paper plates and red kegger cups that must be used in my house daily. Oh and paper towels - yay for a roll a day.

I also hate my bosses. I think they are the most self-absorbant, arrogant, inconsiderate, money-hungry pieces of crap I have ever met.

Whew! I feel better. Are you sure this is anonymous? I can't lose my job because then I couldn't afford all my paper products ;)

Anonymous said...

I actually bought my first bikini last year, and another awesome one this year. HEy, when you put down the chips and get your fat ass to the gym, you lose weight. Who knew?

Also, can I say ass on a mormon blog? Sorry!

And my sordid secret... man, I reserve the right to judge you guys who are all "Global warming? NAH!" Sorry. True. Theories aren't theories 'cause we sit in a room and make them up as we go. If it gets ONE FREAKIN' DEGREE hotter here I'm going STRAIGHT to your house and blaming YOU. PERSONALLY.

I feel like I need to anonymous a good thing while I'm sitting here being judgmental... Um... I love you, Hollywood Flake! Can we go shoe shopping sometime?

Anonymous said...

I hate the thing about donations after you've spent a ... we'll say large amount of money at their store. Every store is doing that now and I resent it. Even pet stores. And nobody loves animals more than me. And people with their hand out. I was in California for 18 months till last June. They'd line up in front of retail stores, beg a dollar, and then go to Rite Aide and buy whiskey. I never knew who I was maddest at...the bums for asking for handouts when they are very able to get a job...or the people that a.l.w.a.y.s give them a buck or to. They are committing a scam...fraud..dishonesty, folks. Stop it. Don't give to them. I pay a considerable sum to Church in tithes. At least I know where it is going.

Anonymous said...

Recycling and environmental causes in general: Although I love the earth and personally will always do what I reasonably can to be wise with my stewardship here, I am so sick of hearing about protecting the environment from hypocrites. If people would stop and THINK before they do silly follow-the-crowd things, like buying a Prius, or installing 'eco-friendly' flooring, or (the worst of them all) buying carbon offsets, they would realize that even though it was on the list of environmentally friendly things to do, it does not in fact fit in their lifestyle or actually save energy or cut down on pollution or anything else to preserve the earth. As in all things, our capitalist society has no shame into guilting you into buying MORE THINGS to "save the earth." And you people who are mindlessly buying these things and repeating the mantras, please get off your high horse and know you are a hypocrite. Unless you are willing to turn your backyard into a farm, turn off your A/C, sell your car and use the money to grow rice for a starving country, stop buying new clothes and shoes, quit your job that is wasting paper and energy, and do EVERYTHING within your power to lessen your impact here, then please, do not preach to me or anyone else about not using plastic bags or whatever the popular suggestion is that week. As for me, I'm keeping my mouth shut and personally doing everything I can.

Anonymous said...

To the commenter that "gives church tithes and always knows where it's going" you should read Mosiah 4:22 and that should make things pretty clear about your judgements and obligations to that bum begging for money.

Anonymous said...

I have never had a stalker, I know this is supposedly a good thing but dang-it I'm jealous all my friends have had a stalker, where's mine?

I want a tattoo which I would let everyone think that I got back in the day when I was 'that kind of girl' and had a stalker and hung out at Starbucks in white sweats that said PINK across the butt.

david santos said...

I love it!
Thank you.

Anonymous said...

You know what I hate? OB visits when you're just a few weeks away from giving birth and the doctor decides that he needs to check your cervix. Personally, I prefer to keep my most private of private places private, thank you very much!

I also hate Bill O'Reilly and people who refer to American media outlets as "liberal". Really people, America COULD NOT GET MUCH MORE CONSERVATIVE!

I also pick my nose. And now my rant is over.

Anonymous said...

I like my in-laws better than my own parents

I also pick my nose, all the time. And love every minute of it.

I lick my fingers when serving food (sneakily)

Anonymous said...

There's a creepy guy I don't know who works for a football team I like (or so the tracker I have says) who checks my blog 5 or more times a day. He also used to leave me mean comments. Can I ask him for tickets?

Anonymous said...

I bite my toenails and eat them. My hubby does too!!! sick, huh?

Anonymous said...

Fat people disgust me. Yes, you heard me right. Get off your fat *** and do some exercise or something. Stop eating burger and stuffing yourself with soda and donuts, and maybe you won't give the rest of us nightmares.
Big bones don't exist! you're just fat.

Anonymous said...

I strongly believe Darwin was a racist pig and evolution is poppy-cock.
If the big bang happened out of nothing, why can't there be a God from NOTHING??? Duh, faith is faith, put it where you want, just make sense, ok???

Anonymous said...

Hollywood,... I didn't mean YOU are fat! You look great!! (I meant "you" for all the fat people reading this blog)

Hollywood said...

Obviously you haven't seen me lately. What do you think I've been doing for the past month? I'll tell you what - eating ice cream and crying that I don't fit into any of my dresses anymore. It's a fair trade off though!

Anonymous said...

I so wish I could do on etsy forums and answer every spoilt little brat honestly when they ask,'Will this sell?', Would you buy this?'or 'Why isn't this selling?'
For Gods sake and my sanity GET A LIFE your work SUCKS, it's CRAP with a capital C. Go and do something else with your talentless self.

Anonymous said...

I think people with dreadlocks are disgusting and dirty looking. It looks like turds hanging off your head. You'd be better bald. Especially white people with dreadlocks, I mean come on, what are you thinking???

Anonymous said...

Etsy blurs the very thin lines between artist, activist and plain old asshole.

Anonymous said...

Hey person who hates fat people, you are an ASS. Apparently you have never known anyone with problems that go beyond eating and being lazy. Just today I was talking with a lady who works out 2 1/2 hours a day and eats healthy foods and is gaining weight like crazy. The doctors can't figure it out. Take your judgemental attitude straight to hell with you.

Anonymous said...

I have over $580,000 in debt. Yes. It scares me, although I am selling my house to get rid of it, I live in fear that my house won't sell.

Global warming is happening, but it's not because of us peepls. It's due to the sun, and animal farts. Methane gas, you know. It's highly possible dinosaurs died because of their own flatulence.

Fat people - eh. I couldn't care less. Be fat if you want, or if you can't be anything else. I really don't care. I think it's mostly genetics anyway.

Anonymous said...

And the gloves come off! I just want to add my two cents...

People who are overly judgmental and self-righteous are crap (please note the irony). People who don't "believe" in global warming are ignorant - its not a matter of faith. And fat people can be fat for a whole bunch of reasons. Fatness can be a life choice, even if its not your own. Bring on the ice cream...

Anonymous said...

I, too, HATE it when the checkout clerks ask me to donate. Almost as much as I hate being assaulted with the trash magazines while waiting in line to check out.

That's one of the reasons I prefer to shop at Trader Joe's...neither of those things happen there and their prices on milk and eggs and such are much better. Go TJ's! Woo hoo!

Anonymous said...

I was going to comment about a lot of things but I decided to get off my fat *** and exercise because the 4 miles a day isn't doing anything for me (still at 220) and I'm not sitting around eating donuts (which I hate) and drinking soda (well, maybe once a month). Thank you to the anonymous commentor for confirming how much people hate me and I make them sick. As for bikinis, I don't think I'm going anywhere in one anytime soon and yes, I recycle.

Anonymous said...

Oooo this is getting firey. I weigh 170 lbs 5'7" and i have been working out like crazy for the past 2 months and haven't changed my eating much b/c I don't think I eat that bad and I haven't lost a pound. I have these tiny sisters who do nothing to maintain their waif like figures and it makes me angry. I hate you ALL, you genetically spoiled brats!
And I think we should recycle/reuse when we can and not waste what we have been blessed with.
AND what bugs me more than being asked for ANOTHER buck at the grocery store is being asked to donate by multi-millionaire celebrities who spend more on clothes in a day than I will spend on groceries in a year.

Anonymous said...

I hate this whole FLDS thing. I truly believe that polygamy is wrong. I wish the Church would renounce Section 132.

Anonymous said...

I exercise several for at least 2 hours 3 times a week. I have a trainer who runs me through INTENSE workouts. I don't eat red meat, I'm allergic to dairy, eggs, and shortening. So I don't eat fried foods. I don't eat cheese, crackers, cookies, soda, or any other junk food. I cook everything myself, make my own yogurt, and a nutritionist evaluated my diet and gave it an A+ rating. Every time I weigh myself at the gym I weigh 155.4. Every. single. time. It was that weight 8 months ago when I quit my job to begin a more intense exercise program and it's that today. Not a change. Turns out part of my genetic disorder includes the fact that my body actually doesn't produce the hormone that taps into fat stores. I look tons better now that I'm really toned and have muscles, but as I dress pretty modestly, you can't tell. The fat covers much of it.

Anonymous said...

Oh anonymous goodness! The "anonymous fat hater" is probably fat. Or better yet, one of those REALLY UGLY skinny people. Those are the ones that get me. Thinkin' they are hotter and better than the gorgeous size 14 girl when they are a busted ass ugly, toe faced size 2. Bwahahaa...I crack myself up.

Anonymous said...

Yowzers. Nothing like a jerk to really get the comments flowing! I saw a lady on the Tyra show the other day who was 5'9", and weighed 122 pounds. She ate at McDonalds every day, never worked out, and her fridge was full of ice cream and she ate potato chips day in and out. Bodies are different. What's not to love about that? Saying "fat people disgust me" makes me think that you probably disgust yourself most days as well.

Anonymous said...

I'm afraid of having another miscarriage.

Anonymous said...

To the fat-person-hater... Yes, I'm fat. Well, I tend not to think of it like that. But even if I weighed whatever it is I'm supposed to weigh, I'd still look fat. My body frame is just large ... big-boned. So, it does exist. :-)

I am scared to lose too much weight, because then my boobs will disappear. And they're going to get smaller as it is in a few months when I stop nursing my daughter. I like my boobs. And I know my hubby does, too. ;-)

Anonymous said...

The only things I recycle are bottles and cans, because I'm desperate for the redemption money. Getting that money is sometimes my only chance to eat.

Yes I am poor, and I am on Medicaid and Unemployment, and I have been called "welfare trash" more than once. But what people don't know is that I have my Master's degree, I used to have a very high-paying job, and the only reason I'm out of work now is because of my mental illness.

Anonymous said...

I'm intolerant of people who are intolerant of other people.

Anonymous said...

I never give to charities at the grocery store either. I give to my select charities and that is that. They may only be asking for a dollar but why should I make a grocery budget only to "spend" an extra dollar or five every time?

Anonymous said...

I think the fat hater has been addressed but seriously--I have been obese since early childhood. Went to a doctor who gave me a pill for my thyroid and suddenly all the working out and eating healthy paid off! I am still a bit overweight but, wow, who knew!

Oh, and I lived 24/7 with a mission companion who was very thin. She ate constantly. More than I ate! It's kind of like people who judge pregnant teenagers. There may be people behaving exactly the same but the pregnant ones are the only ones who have a visible sign of what they have been up to.

Anonymous said...

I hate that the very things I want to hate are 'off limit' topics.

I hate when people put boxes of tissues on the back dashboard of their cars. How the f#$@k are they supposed to reach them?

I hate that people let their untamed kids run around public places strewing their drool and snot all over the place and expecting those brats to miraculously learn how to act in public.

I hate the fact that so many of these anonymous comments have to do what a person looks like on the outside rather than what they are on the inside.

I hate that my sister and mother who are fat - assume that anyone who is thin is a better person than someone who is like them.
The words "she's thin and attractive" always rear it's ugly head in a description of said person.

I hate that my hubby pees sitting down and 'leaves a little bit of himself' behind every day.

I hate that I've become minority in my neighborhood. And I don't mean my religion.

I hate the word hate, and usually don't use it...but thanks for the out.

I hate the fact that our politicians have taught young girls that blow jobs aren't sex. Lying is okay (I did not sleep with that woman). And I hate that all those lying, cheating, philandering religious and political a-holes made their wives stand next to them while they claim they have a sex addiction.
yeah right....

Anonymous said...

i spend too much money.

i covet the library for having all those shelves of books.

i wish i wrote as well as Hollywood.

who doesn't pick their nose, dream of their old boyfriend(s) and drop a few four letter bombs every now and then?

Anonymous said...

I hate having sex with my husband when I'm past about 20 weeks being pregnant. I just don't feel like it until after I give birth, but I do it anyway to keep him happy.

Anonymous said...

Ok -the fat people hater here...

I wasn't talking to the 2% of fat people that actually can't do anything about it. My mom has a thyroid problem and gained a bunch of weight, but that's obviously not her fault.
I'm just talking about the people that ARE lazy and eat like pigs, don't value their body, and just get fatter and fatter. You know who you are!

And no, I'm not fat, and I'm also not super skinny. I am 5'7", 130 pounds, and actually have to work to stay this way. I also have 3 kids, and had to work super hard to loose the extra weight after each one.

So sorry for my generalization, but obviously I struck a nerve with some of you out there...
Maybe if you feel offended (and you don't have a valid reason for being fat) you can realize it's only offensive because you KNOW I'm right.

Ps. I'm glad I inspired one of you to work out!

Anonymous said...

Not to judge, but worse than fat people in general, or if you want to get nasty, fat people in spandex, there is the bottom of the barrel...

...a large woman who thinks the world needs to witness her seven miles of cleavage. Dad-gum! Don't nobody need to see that! Is that some sort of way of trying to feel good about oneself? Or is it a cruel game they play on men to watch them squirm as they try to divert their eyes (which are of course, naturally drawn to the sight like a moth to a lightbulb.)

Anonymous said...

Oh yeah, and I never said I hate fat people! I happen to have many fat friends and family and love them dearly.

Jenny said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

I hate peas.

I think people should not pick their nose.

I hate bad customer service, but they probably hate bad customers, which I probably qualify as.

I hate being pregnant.

I HATE it when people make up names for their children. Boys should have distinctively boy names and girls should have distinctively girl names, and they should be NAMES not words or a series of syllables strung together.

Anonymous said...

I just have to echo an earlier comment to the "fat person hater" or whatever - thank heavens your weaknesses are less visible to everyone, so they don't go around judging you for them. Not sure that made any sense, but it's late, and oh well.

Anonymous said...

Wow, before all of the fat hater comments, I thought of my biggest pet peeve, and it is so mild coipared to all of this.

All I hate is people who park it in the drop off zone at schools and have meaningful conversations with their kids for ten minutes before they pull out of the parking lot. For the love of all things holy, get everything organized ahead of time so you can pull in, drop off, and pull out without making ten cars behind you wait.

Anonymous said...

Oh, and and to you who weighs 130 pounds, have had to work to keep it off, blah blah blah....

You don't loose weight-you lose it. Loose is what your clothes are after you've lost it.

Anonymous said...

I hate people who hate the super-skinny for being super-skinny. I was once. It was anorexia. It's not fun or glamorous. And I still hate that women constantly said to me that they wished they were a "little anorexic." And rolled their eyes when I said "No, you don't." Being so thin, and physically unable to eat ANYTHING, is just as bad on your body, internally and externally as being obese is. I hate that noone really believes that because Tinseltown tells them that it's good for them to look like they are 12 when they are 45 and have 6 kids. And I hate that I'm still afraid of blowing up like a ballon after eating a potato chip. I hope that our society someday learns to teach our children to truly love themselves and others, no matter how they look or how much they weigh. What a change that would make in everything.

I hate my calling in Primary.

I resent my mom for expecting me to be perfect in all ways, and me for trying to live up to it.

Anonymous said...

I can honestly say that if I were to ever commit a hate crime, it would be against smokers.

Come on people, it's really not that hard to recycle. I guess we can at least start with, just don't throw it on the ground, out the car window, etc. There are plenty of available trash cans in this world.

Anonymous said...

Dear Fat Person Judger,
Oh yes, you are a real hero indeed. Thanks for explaining your comment on how you only meant to be an ass to 2% of fat people. By the way, please explain your genius ability to be able to perceive just who belongs in that 2%. I would love to be able to know a person's whole story so that I may judge them on whatever I feel like as well, so please share. You disgust me. Yeah, you read THAT correctly. You have clearly hurt other people’s feelings here, as they are now thinking that others really do think they are unacceptable the way they are. You just plain suck. Amen.

Anonymous said...

Oh and the only thing you inspired was the vomit that came out of my mouth as I read your nasty, small-minded, little comments.

PS-How can you love fat people but also be disgusted by them? If you love someone, it is impossible to be disgusted.

Anonymous said...

Recycling--I don't do it. I can't pay more to save the earth right now.

Bikini body--no-existant. I'm three months pregnant. My belly is only going to expand this summer.

My details:

I am frustrated with things out of my control, like my history of terrible pregnancies, (this one isn't an exception.) Other things that frustrate me: my hubby's unpredictable emotions. My kids' add/adhd issues. Living in a rental now because we sold our house too soon for too little and now can't afford to buy. I am sick of judgemental people. Tacky wedding announcements and grammatical errors (in print and it speech) really irritate me, because these can be remedied with a little education. I don't like reading blogs of snooty folks that think they are smarter/better than the rest of the world. I realize much of what irritates me may be inconsistent. But hey, I am hormonally challenged at the moment.

I really like this blog for the regular doses of reality.

Anonymous said...

I hate the fact that both my mom and my cat both died last Sunday.

Anonymous said...

I let women who I think are better than me intimidate me. These are people who are thinner, prettier, better with their kids, more generous , have cleaner houses, dress better, etc. I won't be myself around them because surely they will be disgusted by the dorkitude which I possess.

And the thing is...I like being a dork. Removes the pressure of being perfect.

Anonymous said...

Why all the hate? I'm not saying I'm better, but I get sick of the negativity. I work hard to stay positive and upbeat.

I wish I recycled more. I give one dollar at the grocery store the first time they ask. Then when they ask again, I can confidently say, "Thanks, I already have!"

I've been super skinny and a size 18. I physically feel best around a 12. But every size I've been I love my body. I realize that's not easy for everyone. But I always got the most guys when I was a little bit bigger.

My mother-in-law annoys me.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry I said the fat judger person sucks. That wasn't nice either. Sorry for my part of the negativity.

Hollywood said...

Ah! I was hoping that if I left you guys alone you could work this out :)

Amen to the need for more positive. But I guess it's just too tempting to say the negative stuff that you can't say every day in a anonymous comments post.

Have I ever mentioned how much I dig you guys? I do. Thanks for sticking with me even though I pooped out for a while.

Anonymous said...

I love that for the first time in my life I can honestly say that I am beautiful and it is only because I finally believe that I am beautiful because of who I am inside and that I don't care what other people think or try to tell me is beautiful. I respect my body so I try my best to take care of it. But I have realized that it wants to be the size that it is. I'm not overweight but I'm not really thin, either. I love my body because it works well and God gave it to me. I think once you truly love yourself and you know that you are beautiful then it is hard to hate other people.

Anonymous said...

I wish it was me saying anonymously what the last person just said...about truly feeling beautiful and loving me, for me. Way to go on such a remarkable feeling! One day I too shall be there.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry that fat grosses me out.
I will work on that

Anonymous said...

I think naming a kid "Rex" is a terrible thing to do. "Heeere boy! Common' Rex. What a good boy," comes immediately to mind. The people who can carry the name Rex without images of puppies come to mind are tall athletes and club bouncers.

Anonymous said...

-Been married to my husband for 17 years and decided this year that I really enjoy sex.

-Also decided that sex toys are my friends.

Anonymous said...

whoa, this was hilarious! except the people who get so upset about global warming; why are the people who don't believe it so nasty about it? guilty conscience. why do they care if I drive a prius (I wish) or use cloth sacks? how does it hurt them? it feeds their greedy little conservative world anyway.

i HATE other people's children. they BUG!

Anonymous said...

Concerning the environmental movement:

-I do recycle because it saves money and resources in the end.
-I don't consider myself an "environmentalist"
-I do believe in global warming, but I don't believe that humans are the main (or even close to the main) contributors. Look to the past people. The earth went through several heating and cooling phases before the Industrial Revolution, America, big business, cars, etc.
-I don't like people shoving the environmental movement down my throat on every commercial, on every show, etc. trying to make me feel guilty for LIVING. Especially when it's from actors and actresses who take a personal jet when they fly as opposed to "air-pooling" on a commercial flight (or heck, lets face it, if they REALLY loved the environment they'd stop traveling all together and never leave their house).

Concerning hygeine/personal care:
-Sometimes I forget to brush my teeth in the morning.
-Sometimes I forget to take my prenatal vitamins even though I'm still nursing.
-I didn't own a scale for 8 years and finally gave in and got one this year.
-I weigh myself nearly every day even though the numbers don't mean much to me.
-I always wonder what people mean when they say "I weigh___" because honestly, I weigh something different in the morning naked than I do in the afternoon clothed.
-I weigh less now (in the morning naked, and in the afternoon clothed) than I did when I got pregnant, but my body's not nearly as "bikini hot" as it was before.
-I love my body and have since my sophomore year of high school.
-I am a little sad my once freaking awesome tummy will never be as flat and taut as it used to, but I'd take my son over a super flat belly any day. Plus, I still love my body.
-I love having sex. Even when I'm 9 mo. pregnant.
-I get sad when my husband goes to bed before me without telling me he's going to bed.

This was fun. I need to do it on my blog.

Anonymous said...

I hate that I harbor resentful feelings toward my wife for not keeping the house more clean; I hate that I am too lazy to do it myself.

I hate that not-so-deep-down I am really scared that my wife will be fat someday (it's in the genes).

Anonymous said...

I have issues. Serious issues. I don't like the "blame it on my mom" syndrome but I blame it on my mom. I don't like her. In fact, I despise her. I don't want to be anything like her. I live my daily life with the thoughts of "Did I just behave like my mother?"

I had some serious good lovin' last night with my best friend and husband.

I crave to be liked by everyone and find myself agreeing with people just so they will like me.

I question the LDS church a lot lately. Not so much the church, but the way people are trying to run each little organization. The different ways bishops deal with things. It isn't the same in every ward. That really bugs me.

The older I get, the more I realize that there will be people that don't like me, and that is okay.

I ADORE my kids. But, I can't stand anyone elses. Not even my own nieces and nephews. I teach primary and dread it every week. I am very nice to the kids though, I promise.

I pick my nose. Sometimes you just have to! Blowin' it just doesn't take care of it sometimes!

Oh, this is just so theraputic. I must do this more often. I could go on and on and on. Anonymous posts rock.

I know Hollywoods real name. HA!

Anonymous said...

I really liked the movie "Napoleon Dynamite"

I can't stand the word "Anyhoo"
(seriously people, it's NOT a word!)

I really feel like people don't like me because I'm fat. (but I do have a pretty face and a sweet spirit)

Last year I saw an ex boyfriend at the mall, and was quite delighted to see that his wife's butt was bigger than mine.

Anonymous said...

The environment: 30 years ago people were telling us that an ice age was coming. I think the scientists are crazy. Sure, we should take care of the environment, but stop turning everything green.

Sordid: last week, after staying up until 2 a.m. discussing our marriage, my husband told me he wanted to ask me to leave. I told him why he didn't.

And then we had some of the worst "intimate time" of my life.

Seriously, I have to tell SOMEBODY.

Anonymous said...

I love that we have a prophet who is better than Al Gore at letting us know what we should be focusing on.

I love the Earth, but I know I talk more about keeping it green than I do about it.

I am a Mormon Democrat! :O

I don't know how to tell my neighbors and their kids that it is offensive to us to constantly hear the Lord's name in vain when we get together.

I wish I didn't like to read blogs so much because there are SO many things more virtuous, lovely and of good report that I could be seeking after instead.

I wish I didn't feel the need to buy new clothes and shoes every season (or ever) goodness knows I don't really need more! I hate being a slave to fashion when I know it's wasteful and vain.

I guess I secretely admire those women who still wear their old Winnie the Pooh jumpers. They must have been really trendy once.

Anonymous said...

I just re-read my own comment. It said I had some good loving with my best friend AND husband. While that sounds like a night of 3-way and maybe some people think that is cool):
I have to correct it and say

I had a fantastic night with my best friend who IS in fact my husband too!

Whew! Hope I cleared that up.

Anonymous said...

I'm tired of hating people and/or their habits I perceive as irritating.
It really is so much easier to be a wrecker than a builder.