Just Gettin' Out All that Pent Up Goodness!
On the joyous occasion of my overcoming a dire case of writer's block, I find I have about 50 things I want to post about today. Alas, I fear I've lost many potential posts that could have been written in the past few weeks. But a commenter in my previous post suggested a good dose of "Anonymous Comment Day" to get the party started again and I whole heartedly agree that a little vent session could be in order. I'll kick it off with my anonymous comment:
This is not Hollywood. This is an anonymous, genderless, typist located somewhere obscure on the planet earth.
I HATE when the cashiers at the grocery store ask me to donate money to causes. There I am, spending $6 on a tub of Moose Tracks ice cream, and they ask with a look of concern if I'd like to make a small donation to help children with cancer. Heavens! Let me snork down my ice cream in peace! I always say no. Mostly because I hate kids with cancer. (Wow. Please detect the massive amounts of satire in what I just wrote! But no. I never donate to causes I know nothing about.)
So let's have it. It's anonymous day, folks. Say what you will. Here are some topics you could gnaw on if you're coming up empty:
Recycling: do you? Don't you? Do you really just hate the whales and recyle just because it looks good on your eHarmony profile?
Hollywood Flakes: Can you ever get over two weeks of the silent treatment? How can you live without us? Are you going to make me pay for your therapy?
Your bikini body: Are you going to make it this year? How's the battle of the chub coming?
Sordid details: Go wild. PG-13 wild, that is.
Now go forth, post anonymously. For heavens sake, ANONYMOUSLY. I say it again and again, but some of you poor people are just calling out for help and keep signing your name to your deepest, darkest secrets. It makes for some good drama I guess.
This is not Hollywood. This is an anonymous, genderless, typist located somewhere obscure on the planet earth.
I HATE when the cashiers at the grocery store ask me to donate money to causes. There I am, spending $6 on a tub of Moose Tracks ice cream, and they ask with a look of concern if I'd like to make a small donation to help children with cancer. Heavens! Let me snork down my ice cream in peace! I always say no. Mostly because I hate kids with cancer. (Wow. Please detect the massive amounts of satire in what I just wrote! But no. I never donate to causes I know nothing about.)
So let's have it. It's anonymous day, folks. Say what you will. Here are some topics you could gnaw on if you're coming up empty:
Recycling: do you? Don't you? Do you really just hate the whales and recyle just because it looks good on your eHarmony profile?
Hollywood Flakes: Can you ever get over two weeks of the silent treatment? How can you live without us? Are you going to make me pay for your therapy?
Your bikini body: Are you going to make it this year? How's the battle of the chub coming?
Sordid details: Go wild. PG-13 wild, that is.
Now go forth, post anonymously. For heavens sake, ANONYMOUSLY. I say it again and again, but some of you poor people are just calling out for help and keep signing your name to your deepest, darkest secrets. It makes for some good drama I guess.
Comments
Recycling: Yes I recycle. I believe in reduce, reuse, recycle. I go so far as to wash my ziploc bags and reuse them.
Hollywood Flakes: I was more worried about your need for therapy than mine. (Your lack of posts for so long was rather scary though you did produce awesome animal friends)
Your bikini body: I am overweight and not happy (darn baby weight). Probably put the cookies down and exercise.
Sordid details: The only time I swear is when my husband MAKES me really mad. I am a closet eater, meaning I like to pig out when I am alone and unseen. This stay at home mom things isn't good for my weight because I am alone way to much.
And I gained over 50 pounds with my first pregnancy and didn't get a single stretch mark. Suckas.
I like my youngest child the best
Whoever displays candy at the checkout isle should be linched
bikini? ha. i don't think so.
recycling is awesome. trees are nice.
i don't wash my hands every single time i use the bathroom, ha ha. and i cannot for the life of me brush my teeth in the morning! but i have ZERO cavities!
I won't be wearing a bikini this summer, but I do feel good because I'm been exercising. I jogged for 2 whole minutes yesterday! This is more jogging than I've done in months!
ARGH.
PS. I'm considering sending a bag of sod to the next person who uses their wedding as a fund raiser.
Whoa, you've got me going. Another tackfest: having a huge registry with all sorts of wish list things like television sets, camping equipment, iPods, etc. Sort of like using your guest list as Santa Claus. A registry should be to help you set up house, not your back yard. If you really want to buy a giant screen TV, cash your gifts in and go for it, Homer. But don't ask us for it.
Times have changed. But tacky is still tacky.
On the topic of recycling - we DON'T because we would have to pay in our area. Why the heck should I have to pay money to save our planet? Here's a dumb thing for ya. I use Chico bags (cloth grocery bags) but I am obsessed with my abundant stock of paper plates and red kegger cups that must be used in my house daily. Oh and paper towels - yay for a roll a day.
I also hate my bosses. I think they are the most self-absorbant, arrogant, inconsiderate, money-hungry pieces of crap I have ever met.
Whew! I feel better. Are you sure this is anonymous? I can't lose my job because then I couldn't afford all my paper products ;)
Also, can I say ass on a mormon blog? Sorry!
And my sordid secret... man, I reserve the right to judge you guys who are all "Global warming? NAH!" Sorry. True. Theories aren't theories 'cause we sit in a room and make them up as we go. If it gets ONE FREAKIN' DEGREE hotter here I'm going STRAIGHT to your house and blaming YOU. PERSONALLY.
I feel like I need to anonymous a good thing while I'm sitting here being judgmental... Um... I love you, Hollywood Flake! Can we go shoe shopping sometime?
I want a tattoo which I would let everyone think that I got back in the day when I was 'that kind of girl' and had a stalker and hung out at Starbucks in white sweats that said PINK across the butt.
Thank you.
I also hate Bill O'Reilly and people who refer to American media outlets as "liberal". Really people, America COULD NOT GET MUCH MORE CONSERVATIVE!
I also pick my nose. And now my rant is over.
I also pick my nose, all the time. And love every minute of it.
I lick my fingers when serving food (sneakily)
Big bones don't exist! you're just fat.
If the big bang happened out of nothing, why can't there be a God from NOTHING??? Duh, faith is faith, put it where you want, just make sense, ok???
For Gods sake and my sanity GET A LIFE your work SUCKS, it's CRAP with a capital C. Go and do something else with your talentless self.
Global warming is happening, but it's not because of us peepls. It's due to the sun, and animal farts. Methane gas, you know. It's highly possible dinosaurs died because of their own flatulence.
Fat people - eh. I couldn't care less. Be fat if you want, or if you can't be anything else. I really don't care. I think it's mostly genetics anyway.
People who are overly judgmental and self-righteous are crap (please note the irony). People who don't "believe" in global warming are ignorant - its not a matter of faith. And fat people can be fat for a whole bunch of reasons. Fatness can be a life choice, even if its not your own. Bring on the ice cream...
That's one of the reasons I prefer to shop at Trader Joe's...neither of those things happen there and their prices on milk and eggs and such are much better. Go TJ's! Woo hoo!
And I think we should recycle/reuse when we can and not waste what we have been blessed with.
AND what bugs me more than being asked for ANOTHER buck at the grocery store is being asked to donate by multi-millionaire celebrities who spend more on clothes in a day than I will spend on groceries in a year.
I am scared to lose too much weight, because then my boobs will disappear. And they're going to get smaller as it is in a few months when I stop nursing my daughter. I like my boobs. And I know my hubby does, too. ;-)
Yes I am poor, and I am on Medicaid and Unemployment, and I have been called "welfare trash" more than once. But what people don't know is that I have my Master's degree, I used to have a very high-paying job, and the only reason I'm out of work now is because of my mental illness.
Oh, and I lived 24/7 with a mission companion who was very thin. She ate constantly. More than I ate! It's kind of like people who judge pregnant teenagers. There may be people behaving exactly the same but the pregnant ones are the only ones who have a visible sign of what they have been up to.
I hate when people put boxes of tissues on the back dashboard of their cars. How the f#$@k are they supposed to reach them?
I hate that people let their untamed kids run around public places strewing their drool and snot all over the place and expecting those brats to miraculously learn how to act in public.
I hate the fact that so many of these anonymous comments have to do what a person looks like on the outside rather than what they are on the inside.
I hate that my sister and mother who are fat - assume that anyone who is thin is a better person than someone who is like them.
The words "she's thin and attractive" always rear it's ugly head in a description of said person.
I hate that my hubby pees sitting down and 'leaves a little bit of himself' behind every day.
I hate that I've become minority in my neighborhood. And I don't mean my religion.
I hate the word hate, and usually don't use it...but thanks for the out.
I hate the fact that our politicians have taught young girls that blow jobs aren't sex. Lying is okay (I did not sleep with that woman). And I hate that all those lying, cheating, philandering religious and political a-holes made their wives stand next to them while they claim they have a sex addiction.
yeah right....
i covet the library for having all those shelves of books.
i wish i wrote as well as Hollywood.
who doesn't pick their nose, dream of their old boyfriend(s) and drop a few four letter bombs every now and then?
I wasn't talking to the 2% of fat people that actually can't do anything about it. My mom has a thyroid problem and gained a bunch of weight, but that's obviously not her fault.
I'm just talking about the people that ARE lazy and eat like pigs, don't value their body, and just get fatter and fatter. You know who you are!
And no, I'm not fat, and I'm also not super skinny. I am 5'7", 130 pounds, and actually have to work to stay this way. I also have 3 kids, and had to work super hard to loose the extra weight after each one.
So sorry for my generalization, but obviously I struck a nerve with some of you out there...
Maybe if you feel offended (and you don't have a valid reason for being fat) you can realize it's only offensive because you KNOW I'm right.
Ps. I'm glad I inspired one of you to work out!
...a large woman who thinks the world needs to witness her seven miles of cleavage. Dad-gum! Don't nobody need to see that! Is that some sort of way of trying to feel good about oneself? Or is it a cruel game they play on men to watch them squirm as they try to divert their eyes (which are of course, naturally drawn to the sight like a moth to a lightbulb.)
I think people should not pick their nose.
I hate bad customer service, but they probably hate bad customers, which I probably qualify as.
I hate being pregnant.
I HATE it when people make up names for their children. Boys should have distinctively boy names and girls should have distinctively girl names, and they should be NAMES not words or a series of syllables strung together.
All I hate is people who park it in the drop off zone at schools and have meaningful conversations with their kids for ten minutes before they pull out of the parking lot. For the love of all things holy, get everything organized ahead of time so you can pull in, drop off, and pull out without making ten cars behind you wait.
You don't loose weight-you lose it. Loose is what your clothes are after you've lost it.
I hate my calling in Primary.
I resent my mom for expecting me to be perfect in all ways, and me for trying to live up to it.
Come on people, it's really not that hard to recycle. I guess we can at least start with, just don't throw it on the ground, out the car window, etc. There are plenty of available trash cans in this world.
Oh yes, you are a real hero indeed. Thanks for explaining your comment on how you only meant to be an ass to 2% of fat people. By the way, please explain your genius ability to be able to perceive just who belongs in that 2%. I would love to be able to know a person's whole story so that I may judge them on whatever I feel like as well, so please share. You disgust me. Yeah, you read THAT correctly. You have clearly hurt other people’s feelings here, as they are now thinking that others really do think they are unacceptable the way they are. You just plain suck. Amen.
PS-How can you love fat people but also be disgusted by them? If you love someone, it is impossible to be disgusted.
Bikini body--no-existant. I'm three months pregnant. My belly is only going to expand this summer.
My details:
I am frustrated with things out of my control, like my history of terrible pregnancies, (this one isn't an exception.) Other things that frustrate me: my hubby's unpredictable emotions. My kids' add/adhd issues. Living in a rental now because we sold our house too soon for too little and now can't afford to buy. I am sick of judgemental people. Tacky wedding announcements and grammatical errors (in print and it speech) really irritate me, because these can be remedied with a little education. I don't like reading blogs of snooty folks that think they are smarter/better than the rest of the world. I realize much of what irritates me may be inconsistent. But hey, I am hormonally challenged at the moment.
I really like this blog for the regular doses of reality.
And the thing is...I like being a dork. Removes the pressure of being perfect.
I wish I recycled more. I give one dollar at the grocery store the first time they ask. Then when they ask again, I can confidently say, "Thanks, I already have!"
I've been super skinny and a size 18. I physically feel best around a 12. But every size I've been I love my body. I realize that's not easy for everyone. But I always got the most guys when I was a little bit bigger.
My mother-in-law annoys me.
Amen to the need for more positive. But I guess it's just too tempting to say the negative stuff that you can't say every day in a anonymous comments post.
Have I ever mentioned how much I dig you guys? I do. Thanks for sticking with me even though I pooped out for a while.
I will work on that
-Also decided that sex toys are my friends.
i HATE other people's children. they BUG!
-I do recycle because it saves money and resources in the end.
-I don't consider myself an "environmentalist"
-I do believe in global warming, but I don't believe that humans are the main (or even close to the main) contributors. Look to the past people. The earth went through several heating and cooling phases before the Industrial Revolution, America, big business, cars, etc.
-I don't like people shoving the environmental movement down my throat on every commercial, on every show, etc. trying to make me feel guilty for LIVING. Especially when it's from actors and actresses who take a personal jet when they fly as opposed to "air-pooling" on a commercial flight (or heck, lets face it, if they REALLY loved the environment they'd stop traveling all together and never leave their house).
Concerning hygeine/personal care:
-Sometimes I forget to brush my teeth in the morning.
-Sometimes I forget to take my prenatal vitamins even though I'm still nursing.
-I didn't own a scale for 8 years and finally gave in and got one this year.
-I weigh myself nearly every day even though the numbers don't mean much to me.
-I always wonder what people mean when they say "I weigh___" because honestly, I weigh something different in the morning naked than I do in the afternoon clothed.
-I weigh less now (in the morning naked, and in the afternoon clothed) than I did when I got pregnant, but my body's not nearly as "bikini hot" as it was before.
-I love my body and have since my sophomore year of high school.
-I am a little sad my once freaking awesome tummy will never be as flat and taut as it used to, but I'd take my son over a super flat belly any day. Plus, I still love my body.
-I love having sex. Even when I'm 9 mo. pregnant.
-I get sad when my husband goes to bed before me without telling me he's going to bed.
This was fun. I need to do it on my blog.
I hate that not-so-deep-down I am really scared that my wife will be fat someday (it's in the genes).
I had some serious good lovin' last night with my best friend and husband.
I crave to be liked by everyone and find myself agreeing with people just so they will like me.
I question the LDS church a lot lately. Not so much the church, but the way people are trying to run each little organization. The different ways bishops deal with things. It isn't the same in every ward. That really bugs me.
The older I get, the more I realize that there will be people that don't like me, and that is okay.
I ADORE my kids. But, I can't stand anyone elses. Not even my own nieces and nephews. I teach primary and dread it every week. I am very nice to the kids though, I promise.
I pick my nose. Sometimes you just have to! Blowin' it just doesn't take care of it sometimes!
Oh, this is just so theraputic. I must do this more often. I could go on and on and on. Anonymous posts rock.
I know Hollywoods real name. HA!
I can't stand the word "Anyhoo"
(seriously people, it's NOT a word!)
I really feel like people don't like me because I'm fat. (but I do have a pretty face and a sweet spirit)
Last year I saw an ex boyfriend at the mall, and was quite delighted to see that his wife's butt was bigger than mine.
Sordid: last week, after staying up until 2 a.m. discussing our marriage, my husband told me he wanted to ask me to leave. I told him why he didn't.
And then we had some of the worst "intimate time" of my life.
Seriously, I have to tell SOMEBODY.
I love the Earth, but I know I talk more about keeping it green than I do about it.
I am a Mormon Democrat! :O
I don't know how to tell my neighbors and their kids that it is offensive to us to constantly hear the Lord's name in vain when we get together.
I wish I didn't like to read blogs so much because there are SO many things more virtuous, lovely and of good report that I could be seeking after instead.
I wish I didn't feel the need to buy new clothes and shoes every season (or ever) goodness knows I don't really need more! I hate being a slave to fashion when I know it's wasteful and vain.
I guess I secretely admire those women who still wear their old Winnie the Pooh jumpers. They must have been really trendy once.
I have to correct it and say
I had a fantastic night with my best friend who IS in fact my husband too!
Whew! Hope I cleared that up.
It really is so much easier to be a wrecker than a builder.