Political Fervor

So I'm out for a walk yesterday and get to the post office where I need to mail a package. Since this is California, there are a bunch of young adults outside the building with a booth employing their dang right of free speech trying to intersect every passerby to talk to them about some "new and exciting" liberal issue. I've pretty much seen every possible group and usually don't stop to talk to them since I'm one of two Republicans in my town. But I was sick of passing out the condescending straight-ticket Republican smile of apology so I decided to try another method. When the lady approached me as I was struggling up the stairs with Pixie's stroller about getting rid of Dick Cheney, I said "Good luck! That man's in place by the DEVIL!" She got all excited and said that was exactly the problem. Okay, I thought, I have to up the ante and let her know she doesn't need to persuade me.

"He's got demon powers!" I said enthusiastically, drawing on my Texas upbringing to invoke evangelical terror. "That's just what we're trying to say" she responded - now with more passion. Now I was in trouble. How could I be even more fervently not-in-need of persuasion? "HE'S THE DEVIL!" I desperately exalted, a little too loudly (got some funny looks for that one) - at which point she pulled out the two pamphlets that I have shown here of Cheney happily wriggling in the pit of hell surrounded by flames.

I was dumbfounded. She proceeded to "schpiel" me for about 5 minutes about how Cheney is employing demon tactics and yada yada yada while I stood there in shock that she actually did believe exactly that. She was very confused when I declined to sign their petition and timidly declined to donate money. I still can't think of accusing someone of something more outrageous but will have to drum up something by the next time I stop by the post office. Or maybe it never pays to pretend to be something you aren't. Back to the old Barbara Bush smile of condescension?