August 23, 2007

Blonde Jokes

Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.

A blonde had just totaled her car. She had just pried herself from the wreckage when the state trooper arrived.
"Your car looks terrible! How did this happen?" asked the officer.
"It was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was driving along when out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."
"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."

Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working?
A: Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, and all in the name of humor!" The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little turd on your knee."

Q: How do blonde brain cells die?
A: Alone.

Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

So get yourself down to a hair salon and join us! Blondes really do have more fun.


velocibadgergirl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
velocibadgergirl said...

Here are my two favorite blonde jokes:

1. What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?


2. One day, a blonde was driving down a country road when she spotted another blonde, sitting in a rowboat in the middle of a perfectly dry cornfield, rowing like her life depended on it. Outraged, the first blonde pulled over and jumped out of the car.

"HEY!" she shouted at the blonde in the boat. "It's people like you who give blondes a bad name! I tell you what, if I could swim, I'd come right out there and kick your butt!"

the wiz said...

What do you call a blonde in between two balloons?


Rachelle said...

Oy!! I'm always on the wrong bandwagon.... I just went auburn!

This is why I wasn't a cheerleader, I just know it....

Janell said...

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were stranded on an island thirty miles from shore. They decided to try to swim to shore. The brunette swam five miles, got tired, and drown. The redhead swam ten miles, got tired, and drown. The blond swam fifteen miles, got tired, and swam back to the island.

Kerri said...

I have to send these to my brother. For some reason he gets a kick out of sending blond jokes to the family (even though he is blond himself).

Jessica G. said...

Q. Why don't blonde like to make kool-aid?

A. Because they can't fit 2 quarts of water inside that little package!

Kahunna said...

This is my favorite blond joke (although I don't think she was joking!) It was from this weekend's Teen USA here in Pasadena.

Sarah said...

Wow! Kahunna, thanks for sharing that clip. Thank goodness Mario had mercy on that girl and pulled the microphone away before she had a chance to embarrass herself even more.

"such as..."