Blonde Jokes
Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.
A blonde had just totaled her car. She had just pried herself from the wreckage when the state trooper arrived.
"Your car looks terrible! How did this happen?" asked the officer.
"It was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was driving along when out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."
"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."
Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working?
A: Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, and all in the name of humor!" The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little turd on your knee."
Q: How do blonde brain cells die?
A: Alone.
Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.
So get yourself down to a hair salon and join us! Blondes really do have more fun.
A: It takes too long to retrain them.
A blonde had just totaled her car. She had just pried herself from the wreckage when the state trooper arrived.
"Your car looks terrible! How did this happen?" asked the officer.
"It was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was driving along when out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."
"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."
Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working?
A: Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, and all in the name of humor!" The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little turd on your knee."
Q: How do blonde brain cells die?
A: Alone.
Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.
So get yourself down to a hair salon and join us! Blondes really do have more fun.
Comments
1. What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
Pregnant
2. One day, a blonde was driving down a country road when she spotted another blonde, sitting in a rowboat in the middle of a perfectly dry cornfield, rowing like her life depended on it. Outraged, the first blonde pulled over and jumped out of the car.
"HEY!" she shouted at the blonde in the boat. "It's people like you who give blondes a bad name! I tell you what, if I could swim, I'd come right out there and kick your butt!"
Triplets.
This is why I wasn't a cheerleader, I just know it....
Slainte~
Rachelle
A. Because they can't fit 2 quarts of water inside that little package!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj3iNxZ8Dww&
"such as..."