August 17, 2007

A Slow News Cycle

Here are some of the headlines from the week. None of them are worth elaborating on, but I just wanted to prove I've been doing something for the past seven days.

"Depraved Woman Stays Awake for 3 Nights Scrapbooking"

"Muffins Made from Buisquik Disprove God"

"Vacuuming Decreed Futile by the Allies"

"Lottie's Head Continues Alarming Rate of Growth"

"4 Month old Toe Nail Polish Removed by Environmental Clean Up Crew"

"Carpet Scientifically Proven to Hold its Weight in Spit-up"

"Saturday Morning Cartoons Discovered by Desperate Mother"

"Toddler Makes Failed Dash for the Potty," and the follow-up story, "Pixie Accused of Suspicious Puddle under Table"

"Devastating Sugar Binge Rocks Mom's Glucose Levels"

"Mother Honestly Believes Her Children Are Smarter Than Average"

"Suspicious Smell Coming from Baby Turns Out to be Baby"

14 comments:

summer said...

LOL!! Those are all great!
Charlotte is a cutie pie, and believe it or not I've actually seen a bigger noggin'. :)
My brother for one had the hugest head on a baby I've still, ever seen. Maybe I'll post a pic when I find one.

Clyde said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Clyde said...

"Carpet Scientifically Proven to Hold its Weight in Spit-up"
Hmmm, I wonder what's behind this headline(?) It's probably better to leave it to my imagination.

Just in case, check it behind your couch sometimes children leave "their presents" there. Or Husbands for that matter...

Clyde said...

By the way, the picture is beautiful!

Colleen said...

Boy do I not miss those newborn days.

Jamie J said...

Sounds like a busy week! Charlotte is beautiful by the way!

A. said...

(Lurker here...) These are hysterical. Especially "Penny Accused of Suspicious Puddle under Table."

Kerri said...

I get so lazy with my toe nail polish that I just end up covering up the old polish with new. It is a gross habit, and I always regret it when I actually pull out the remover and go through 5 cotton balls per toe.

Love the picture with Charlotte!

emma jo said...

You can somehow make mundane weekly happenings seem so entertaining and fun...I need you at my house.

Mrs. M said...

These are fun, Sarah. You look beautiful.

Adrienne said...

I WILL NOT let you disparage the joys of Bisquick. The Kroger off-brand makes a MIGHTY FINE banana bread.

Suzie Petunia said...

Huh... I could have written this post (but without all the whit and charm, of course). Cute picture!

Rrramone said...

Those are high-larious!!

Erica said...

Genius! Loving the headlines!