Here are some of the headlines from the week. None of them are worth elaborating on, but I just wanted to prove I've been doing something for the past seven days.
"Depraved Woman Stays Awake for 3 Nights Scrapbooking"
"Muffins Made from Buisquik Disprove God"
"Vacuuming Decreed Futile by the Allies"
"Lottie's Head Continues Alarming Rate of Growth"
"4 Month old Toe Nail Polish Removed by Environmental Clean Up Crew"
"Carpet Scientifically Proven to Hold its Weight in Spit-up"
"Saturday Morning Cartoons Discovered by Desperate Mother"
"Toddler Makes Failed Dash for the Potty," and the follow-up story, "Pixie Accused of Suspicious Puddle under Table"
"Devastating Sugar Binge Rocks Mom's Glucose Levels"
"Mother Honestly Believes Her Children Are Smarter Than Average"
"Suspicious Smell Coming from Baby Turns Out to be Baby"