September 20, 2007

The Disneyland Remedy

I can't snap out of this funk. I keep trying to step back from the never ending cycle of being puked on, then peed on, then puked on, then peed on, but I just can't break free. I exist in a briny ocean of pee. I really need some third person perspective right about now and this is usually when the blog comes in handy but whenever I sit and try to come up with some divine insight, Pixie calls from the other room, "Moooommm, I had an aaaaaacident..."

Wetness surrounds me.

I need to find my happy place. I am desperately searching for my happy place. But then ten minutes ago I realized that corporate America has already heard my pleas and made arrangements for me. I'm packing my diaper bag and heading to Disneyland for the day. They claim it's "The Happiest Place on Earth." Let's see if Micky can put his money where his mouth is. I'm going to let my two wet beasts scavenge the park, peeing and spitting up as they see fit. By the end of the day even Minnie Mouse may have a little frown on that big, plastic head of hers. But I'm hoping not. If Disneyland can't make me feel better, I'm checking in somewhere for a few months until I dry out. Ciao cruel world. I'm going to Disneyland.

20 comments:

Mrs. M said...

I hope you have a great day:)

Fellow toddler mom said...

I suggest you duct tape Penny into some diapers and let her know that until she stops having 'accidents' she can just sit in it till you get around to changing it. Would that work? It's especially effective if you do it without getting mad at her. Just something like," Oh, Penny, it looks like you really aren't ready for panties after all. We'll just put you back into diapers until you learn to stop having accidents." Good luck!

Foxy said...

The current issue of the New Yorker has an article about colic entitled "Crybabies." I would send it to you but the devils at the New Yorker have a 7 day embargo on their content in the databases I access to at the library. Anyway, I know that Ms. Charlotte is thankfully much improved but thought you would like to read about the affliction, which mystifies the scientific and medical communities alike. My favorite quote from the article, "The United States military has reportedly used the sound of wailing infants as an instrument of psychological stress, piping recordings of their cries into the cells of detainees at Guantanamo Bay." That and Van Halen's "Panama," I presume.

Summer said...

If Disneyland doesn't do the trick, ain't nothin' gonna do the trick.

Mary said...

Have fun!

We are in the "accident" filled phase as well. I have never been so sick of pee and poop as I have been these past months, even though I have changed a mountain of diapers with my two kids being so close together. Grrr.

pflower10 said...

We took the kids on a surprise trip to D-land last year and we had the BEST TIME EVER!!!! The lines were almost non existant, the fireworks at night rocked, the weather was perfect, but I have to say unless the cuisine was mexican or some sort of variation thereof ..the food sucked. ESPECIALLY in New Orleans Square. EWWWWWWWWW.

Kerri said...

I hope you aren't going alone with the kids. If you are, I commend your bravery. The last time I went (2 weeks ago with a bunch of family), Tyler fell asleep 90 minutes in, so he slept while the rest of the kids had fun. I sat by the stroller half the day understanding why it had been 10 months since my last visit. Tyler went on 2 rides, and we packed it up to go home. I hope your day is better than mine! If not, let's plan a play date at my house and we can compare stains on our shirts.

wynne said...

Ah, Disneyland. If your kids are too crabby or wet, however, beware: some elves will pop out of the bushes and remove them, so as not to make anyone else in the park miserable by having to see them.

Which, as a matter of fact, might make your day a whole lot brighter. (I think you can pick them up in the coat-check area when and if you want them back.)

AzĂșcar said...

I'm no help, I cried and cried this morning.

We can be sisters in misery.

potty training mama said...

Ummmm, I highly recommend busting out the bag of dum-dums again. I would much rather have a dry kid with cavities and a sugar high than a urine soaked apartment with a calm but wet little girl. Trust me, it could go on for years if you don't find something to bribe her with soon.

Melissa said...

I hope you have a great day at Disneyland! We are hoping to go someday soon... can I ask you where you get tickets? I know that Costco carries them... I was just curious...

Sarah said...

We're back!! It's all true, Disneyland IS the happiest place on earth! Penny did manage to pee all over herself in toon town but we just fled the scene. Charlotte similarly did her puking in the bushes. I just held her over them and let her rip. Better there than on my carpets.

I had such a good time I bought the year pass. Yes, Kerri, I went by myself with the two girls and it wasn't so bad. Charlotte was an angel but Penny started believing the whole "I'm a princess" thing after a few hours and became a royal pain in the tush. We stayed from 10 am till 5 pm and it was simply divine!

I bought my ticket at the door ($62 for me, my kids are under two years old so they were both free. Good deal I thought!)

Abby said...

On her last trip to Disney Land, my sister called my mother and growled, "If this is the happiest place on earth, just shoot me now!" (She had lost a child and didn't recover especially quickly from the scare.) She left her husband and three children with Mickey and went back to the hotel. It was three hours before she could return...so, uh--have fun though!

Suzie Petunia said...

Let me know if it works. Maybe I'll join you.

s'mee said...

I LOOOOOVE D-land. Seriously. Thor and I have APs. There are times when we will actually just drive there to eat dinner and people watch. The best thing about the AP is that if it is a terrible day to go (too crowed, etc.), you can just hang out and not get flustered because you know you can come back again soon and try for a better day.

They (APs)are crazy expensive, especially for young families, but if you can save $10 per person per month, it's a good way to "check out" of reality for a day.

Happy to see it worked for you too!

Sue said...

Being committed sounds so lovely doesn't it? Lots of sleeping and quiet time and drugs? Time away from the kids and lots of time to read. Heavenly. My sister's tenant was just committed the other day and I've been jealous ever since.

But, er, hope YOU don't have to resort to that. Glad Disneyland was happy. Feel better!

what the..... said...

Sue, your comment was really creepy. I'm a little scared.

Bridget said...

An open letter to the girl running the Buzz Lightyear ride at Disneyland last week:

I am really sorry my overly excited toddler (who is, by the way, completely potty trained) kind of er, um, peed right next to your foot on the little conveyor belt thingy. At which point I smoothly said, "Um, I think someone must have spilled their drink." As if you didn't see the pee coursing down her legs. And then, bold as brass, we just got right on the ride. You must have thought I am a horrible mama, and believe you me, I have my moments. Usually I'm not quite so decidedly horrible, but I just couldn't waste my Fastpass.

Sorry, The Lady with the Wet Kid

Lisa said...

Disneyland is my escape, too! I take the 14 & 10 year olds and it just makes me feel like there are no cares in the world. Yeah for the pass! I love it!

By the way, I am here from Millie's.

Sue said...

"Sue, your comment was really creepy..." Uh, it was a joke. Heard of 'em?