October 1, 2007

Stupid Celebrity Quotes

I can never get enough of celebrity's and politician's bloopers. Here are a few of my favorites:

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
- Brooke Shields

"So many of the people in the arenas here were under-privileged anyway. This is working very well for them."
- Barabra Bush (September 2005, during the Katrina disaster)

"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."
- Hillary Clinton

"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."
- Charles De Gaulle, former French President

"I don’t think anybody should write his autobiography until after he’s dead.”
- Samuel Goldwyn

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."
- Marion Barry, Washing, D.C. Mayor

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
- Dan Quayle, U.S. Vice President

"I think that the film 'Clueless' was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness.
-Alicia Silverstone

"I think that gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman.
Arnold Schwartzanegger

"The Internet is a great way to get on the Net."
-Bob Dole

"Predictions are difficult, especially about the future"
-Yogi Berra

Too many OB/GYN’s aren’t able to practice their love with women all across the country.”
- George W. Bush

"I was asked to come to Chicago because chicago is one of our 52 states."
- Raquel Welch

"What's Walmart? Do they sell, like, wall stuff?"
- Paris Hilton

"The word 'genuis' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
- Joe Theismann

"Rarely is the question asked, is our children learning?"
- George W. Bush

"I've got taste. It's inbred in me."
- David Hasselhoff

"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know it's very popular out there in Africa."
- Britney Spears

"So, where’s the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?”
- Christina Aguilera

"You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror.”
- George W. Bush

"A zebra does not change its spots."
- Al Gore 1991 (and again in 1992)

"It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher."
- Linda Evangelista

"Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream of society."
- Rush Limbaugh

"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people."
- Dan Quayle

"Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things." Dan Quayle

Thanks, Dan. That last one just about sums up the post.


glittersmama said...

Wow. Those are pretty impressive. Makes what Junior Miss South Carolina (or whatever her title was) not seem so bad. Yeah, they're speaking in public, so maybe they should get a break. But if they said something genius they would get just as much attention the other way. Funny how that doesn't happen very often. Maybe they need more maps of Iraq and South Africa.

dawn said...

Well theres a poker pro Phil Hellmuth who said and I quote "If there was no luck invovled I'd win every hand". I posted a favorite movie list onm my blog please go leave your choices

pflower10 said...


Lisa Fewox said...

it seems like some of those aren't real because they sound so stupid. Who knows?!

Hollywood said...

"Taken out of context" is a beautiful thing. I feel so bad for these guys. I can't imagine all the dumb things that would be pegged on me if there was a video camera in my face 24/7!

Nancy Sabina said...

Oh man - I admit to being a fan of Clueless - but that quote by Alicia Silverstone is just shockingly stupid. It's like an 8 year old when they're trying to sound all smart.

But, yeah...thank goodness nobody listens to anything I say or I'd be in trouble. I guess that's one of the perks of being a mother - nobody listens to me.

Summer said...

Wiping away the tears now.

s'mee said...

The things we U.S. Americans say! Such as these, and those about the people, well and the camera and the recorders. Yeah. We need maps. And less smoking, and multiple presidents such as they are, you know, like the Chinese. But I'm just predicting the future, which is hard, but I'm inbred so it's hereditory for me to be so.

Thank you, Ms. Hollywood.

Mrs. M said...


Basic Black with Pearls said...

Whenver I read these things I also ask, 'How accurate are these quotes?" They may be funny or seem impossibly dumb, but I don't take them all seriously until I know they arent just another cut and pasted Internet passaround of questionable veracity. Just for the record...

I know I'm just a Black Lab, but I do have a brain.

Hollywood said...

Basic Black, your skepticism of my journalistic integrity is noted. If it makes you feel any better, these were all sayings I recorded during my personal conversations with these people.

Adrienne said...

My personal fav has to be the one from September 27th of this year, where George W. Bush said on education, and I quote: "As yesterday’s positive report card shows, childrens do learn when standards are high and results are measured."

A. "Childrens do learn?" Really? and
B. Diagram that sentence for me, because... what?

And that one IS accurately quoted, seeing as I was watching CSPAN when he said it...

the wiz said...

Isn't there a book with stuff like this? I seem to remember Samuel Goldwyn having a ton of them.

Special K ~Toni said...

Baahaaahaaa! I feel like a genius now!

Susan M said...

I'm just glad I'm not a celebrity. I'm sure I'd make all these lists. That "Rarely is the question asked, is our children learning?" never fails to make me laugh.

You know what's interesting? There's a website that documents people's last words. Funny how so many people's last words reflect their personality so well.

Physcokity said...

I think that's partly why blogs were invented, to be able to make fun of the stupid things that other people say or even what you say.

BTW thanks for the awesome mix tape/CD I love it!

Heather O. said...

Wiz, there is a Stupid Quotes desk calendar. Yup, 365 days full of the dumbest things ever said. My favorite was the one about Mariah Carey:

Mariah Carey was one of the first celebrities to comment on the death of the King of Jordan. Mariah told CNN "I'm inconsolable at the present time, I was a very good friend of Jordan, he was probably the greatest basketball player this country has ever seen, we will never see his like again".

When told by reporters that it was King Hussein of Jordan who had died and not Michael Jordan, Mariah was then led away by her security in a state of "confusion".

aubrey said...

i am just glad that i'm not quoted on anything i say! these were great!

Marie said...

Do I laugh or cry?

Okay, laugh.

Anonymous said...

Oh, lord

these celebrities need help(:

rjazz32 said...


these people need help(:

Anonymous said...

Please don't be an idiot yourself... not all of these quotes are verified... look them up.

Anonymous said...

Yea, they are all true. Various shows on television play these blunders over and over at least once a month.

Talking about Tuna "Chicken of the Sea"
"Can anyone tell me if I'm eating chicken or fish? The can says chicken of the sea." - J. Simpson

That was posted all over MTV. Not sure if it's 100% accurate, but thats pretty much the jist of it. People claim she never said anything like that, yet that quote was taken from one of her own shows. I guess that goes to show you that stupid people shouldn't do reality shows.

TPM said...

Go hit Snopes.com and search on a part of some of the quotes. a few were never said.
Bob Eubanks Q. "Where is the wildest place you ever made whoopee?"
Newlywed Contestant's A. "In the butt."

misz itty bitty said...
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