Canceling Magazine Subscriptions
Before everyone confesses to murder in the last post, I guess I'll stick something else up to lighten the mood. Magazine subscription renewal letters. Oh how I hate them. This is one I got from the Day-Timer company yesterday:
True, I bought a Day-Timers refill off the internet two years ago and didn't reorder online. But I found the relationship unfulfilling and didn't feel the company had earned the courtesy of a Dear John. But whiny letters like this make me 100% committed to never become a returning customer.
We used to have a subscription to National Geographic. I got a year's free subscription through my job and when the subscription ended, I didn't renew. For over a year I got monthly letters from National Geographic begging me to come back to them. One of the last letters I received started out saying, "What have we done to offend you?" At that point I was so disgusted with their groveling that I called the company and demanded they never send any piece of mail to my home again and that I promised the operator I would never ever subscribe to their magazine for the remainder of my earthly life. The mail stopped for about 4 years but there must have been a change in management because the hopeful, timid letters have recently started again. So I really do want to re-subscribe, right?
Wrong.
Getting a magazine subscription is not as casual an act as many people think. It's like having a baby with someone. You can't just walk away and expect the whole relationship to just go away. You'll have to deal with the guilt of the broken relationship every time you visit the mailbox for the rest of your life.
Dear Hollywood,
I'm concerned.
As the president of Day-Timers, I want our customers to be 100% satisfied with every purchase and the service they receive from us.
We haven't heard from you in a while. Did we drop the ball somewhere? If so, would you please call us and let us know about it? Or, maybe you just lost the "get organized" habit? In any event...WE WANT YOU BACK!
(Two paragraphs of drivel about how they are sending me coupons so I can return to the fold)
I hope you become a Day-Timers fan again.
Sincerely,
Joe Winters
True, I bought a Day-Timers refill off the internet two years ago and didn't reorder online. But I found the relationship unfulfilling and didn't feel the company had earned the courtesy of a Dear John. But whiny letters like this make me 100% committed to never become a returning customer.
We used to have a subscription to National Geographic. I got a year's free subscription through my job and when the subscription ended, I didn't renew. For over a year I got monthly letters from National Geographic begging me to come back to them. One of the last letters I received started out saying, "What have we done to offend you?" At that point I was so disgusted with their groveling that I called the company and demanded they never send any piece of mail to my home again and that I promised the operator I would never ever subscribe to their magazine for the remainder of my earthly life. The mail stopped for about 4 years but there must have been a change in management because the hopeful, timid letters have recently started again. So I really do want to re-subscribe, right?
Wrong.
Getting a magazine subscription is not as casual an act as many people think. It's like having a baby with someone. You can't just walk away and expect the whole relationship to just go away. You'll have to deal with the guilt of the broken relationship every time you visit the mailbox for the rest of your life.
Comments
We gave to them once, just a few dollars, and every organization associated with the environment, human rights, etc. somehow started sending us mail--including national geographic.
The one time I tried a subscription, they ended up stalking me.
Just last year they sent me some free issues to entice me back into the fold and then, when I didn't bite, they sent me mail designed to look like collection letters (with very small disclaimers at the bottom stating that this was not a bill)
Also, I could be wrong, but I think they're watching me through the window right now!
Ok, probably not.
Ahem.
I've had similar problems with the Salvation Army. I don't mind occasional mail, but they were sending something every week--sometimes more than once a week. Excess mail almost always makes me look elsewhere to spend my money.
Poor Hollywood, you created a monster.
Oh, and I have a lot of usable address labels.
Thanks for letting me vent that.
About the magazine thing I ditched Martha about a year before she "did time" and she is still woooing me! I feel special.
On a lunch break I had to run to the Glendale Galleria to buy last minute items for my Thanksgiving travels (starting tomorrow!!) After making my purchases I rushed to the food court to scarf down a burrito. En route I scurried past a cosmetic kiosk where the sales guy started asking questions. "No thank you" I politely responded. He persisted and actually followed me for about 25 feet until I said, "No thank you and stop following me!"
Seriously, do these people think that stalker behavior will win us over?