November 3, 2007

Dog Toy Snoop

Today I did my shopping in the pet isle of the grocery store. A teething infant is practially a puppy and prices for doggie toys beat the pants off the Dr. Spock endorsed teething rings. With such claims on the packages as, "chewing helps remove tartar as part of a good dental hygiene program," and, "hours of entertainment for your furry friend," I knew Cher, my hairy 7 month, old would agree with me.

I ripped the rubber "Tiny Dog H'Chew'O" bone out of its packaging and handed it to my gummy accomplice. She grinned and began gnawing. The "Chew n' Clean" bone and a tennis ball tug toy also made the final cut. At two bucks each, I vowed never to shop the baby isle again.

Cher did her best on the nubbley chew toy but after a few minutes she threw it aside in boredom. Time for another toy - The Chew n' Clean doggie bone. Just as I was about to give it to her, my eyes snagged on the bottom corner of the package, "Country Bacon Flavored." My pathetic conscience protested. Was this a mistake? Should I really give my infant bacon flavored dog toys to gnaw? This seemed so wrong.

Then that smooth voice inside me, 'What could it hurt? Bacon tastes goooood. She'll love it!' Still not convinced, I tentatively raised the bone to my mouth. Curling back my lips, I placed the bone between my teeth and gave it a timid bite. No flavor. Then a really good chew and a lick. Nope. Not a hint of bacon, just cold, hard plastic. Hartz, the manufacturer of the Chew n' Clean didn't count on consumers calling their bluff about the flavor of their dog toy but I just busted them big time. Thousands of dogs are being denied the advertised bacony goodness. I'm appalled.

After dreaming of bacon, I have to admit I was disappointed to find the bone so bland. I gave the toy to Cher, glad she didn't know what she was missing. A chew toy is wonderful for a baby, but a BACON flavored chew toy? Now that's just awesome.

12 comments:

Lindsay said...

Shopping for teethers in the pet aisle? Totally awesome.

Clyde said...

After I read "country bacon flavored toy," I realized this is perfect for my bacon-loving family. No more money spend on the greasy, messy real thing - I'll just get a few chewable toys that last forever (or at least until they try to steal from each other!)

Thanks for the suggestion, oh genius Sarah!

holly said...

I would never think to get dog toys for a teething baby! You are so clever, Sarah. And funny.

Teah said...

You're so totally my new hero. I REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted to get chew toys for BBJ, but Louh Gung vetoed that idea! Now I'll just tell him, "But Hollywood Flakes said it was ok! Charlotte lived!"

Julie said...

I can't stop laughing!!! That is so funny. I just bought Ashley some chew toys as she too is teething. Why didn't I think of that!!!! You are the smartest person I've ever met!

Adrienne said...

I teethed on MilkBones. Not the store bought kind, mind you, but the home made kind (super, super easy.) Still. Milk. Bones. Dog biscuits.

In my Mother's defense, they were way lower in sugar than store bought teething biscuits. The trend seems to have caught on, too. Our local doggie cookie emporium sells their biscuits for that same use.

Chelsea Worth said...

my mom loves to buy dog toys for my kids. she always chooses the really really loud sqeaky ones though. curses to her

The Wiz said...

This is a good reminder that what we pay for is mostly packaging. People are willing to pay more for "brain growing" toys for their child than dog toys, even when they are essentially the same thing.

Kudos to you for bucking the system. Brillian. Hee hee. I would draw the line at the bacon flavor, though. Who knows what chemical is pured all over that thing to make it bacon-y.

Mrs. M said...

Too funny! I never would have thought of it.

Melyni said...

You are my new favorite person on all of the earth. I laughed so hard I cried AND instead of running out of the door at 6 (I'm at work) I sat and finished reading. This has never happened. I thank you. I will tell this story to the girls at book club. They will also love you.

Julie said...

I was laughing so hard I cried when I read this. I thought I was the only mom who gave their child things meant for dogs. I have bought my daughter dog toys before and she loved them-although I got a lot of flak from other people.

Jenny said...

Interesting and extraordinary things seem to magnetize toward and you toward them. What an exciting life you must lead!