Hell for Blogging Slackers
I'm home for the holidays. Home being my parents' house in Dallas. It's only been 24 hours since I got here, but my mother has already given me four sincere talks about how nobody will care about the blog in the long run and how I should have as many kids as possible. The woman had nine children and is a propagation zealot. To give you some sense of her ideas on birth control, she even refused to have our cats fixed. We lived in a sea of kittens growing up.
"But two is such a nice number," I say, looking at her for pity.
"It's the refiners fire!" she shoots back.
"But it's so hard," I whine.
"It's supposed to be hard. It'll get you to heaven."
"I'll still get to heaven even if I only have two," I counter argue.
She hesitates, "...that's true..."
I win.
(I just read this blog post to my mom before posting for her approval and she said, "It's not true. People who only have two children rot in hell. Hell for slackers. For blogging slackers."
Get your story straight, Mom. Can I get fixed or not?
Comments
How was the flight, by the way... and tell your mom I had no idea the having a passel of kids was how I got into heaven!
But I agree with Tracy M... I didn't know that having a gaggle of kids was how I could get into heaven. I've made a mental note :)
Grandchild count:
MIL-4
Mother-27+
In the church we place so much emphasis on families. And we should. Families are important. But its not the SIZE of our families that's the important thing.
Well, mom knows best and if the way to get to heaven is hell on earth (6 kids would be that to me), I'm all for it. I have a different view of getting to heaven, so I will let you try this approach.
KEEP BELIEVING
I say, go for it. Have nine. Make your mother happy.
Or not.
(I didn't see any mention of having to care for said children-- so if just having them is enough, it might not be too bad... ;) )
My mom came from a Catholic family of ten kids and went on to bear three protestants of her own (well one of whom was baptized Catholic, and one Wiccan who was baptized catholic, and one Protestant that was baptized Mormon). Every time I say something to her along the lines of "I have news!" She cringes and says, "You're not pregnant are you?"
It's not about the number, and there's so many ways to be a good parent, whether you have kids or not. For my own sanity and health, I'm done. I'm not having anymore. and as a gal who gets hit hard with postpartum depression, I think it's a very smart, safe move. There's no way I could have 12 kids. I'd kill 'em. There's a lot of factors that play into the decision of what size family suits you. And if it's not your family, keep your trap shut.
Not that I think you mom is super extreme or anything, but I think that sometimes moms forget that what they want for their own children is not always best for them...
Of course, if we as children of Adam and Eve have been commanded to multiply and replenish the earth... I would think having 2 kids takes care of the replensihing part. So you're at least half way there! :)
No matter what you do, the term "getting fixed" is the animal way to say it. So if you decide to go for it, head on over to the vet. I hear it only costs like 50 bucks there.
Stick with kittens for a while.
Hollywood, perhaps I am presuming here, but after reading both your blog and the Editor's I feel both of you are tongue in cheek type-o-gals and all this is being taken WAAAY too serious by your readers.
That being said, I am with the Editor on this one. Not the get into heaven part, just the have as many as possible part. They only get better as they get older.
I'm with Caroline. Plus, there are those out there that it is dangerous and REALLY hard to get pregnant. I'm pretty sure Heavenly Father don't pay no never mind to how many chilluns you gots.
My mom and I are very open with each other and cover just about any topic for discussion over our long games of Scrabble. Anything to keep her mind off of how badly I'm beating her.
That's funny you mentioned that you'd been to my mom's blog, S'mee. I was hoping nobody would visit it this week since she just posted a picture of me taking a bubble bath over there. She accused me of being "too inhibited" so I had to agree when she asked to snap some photos of me in the tub. Awkward.
I really hope people don't take this post too seriously - Caroline - I totally hear you on the post partum depression thing. I have it really bad and it's not something I want to do many more times. But I've also been thinking about clbm562's comment all day about the downside to two kids being that it's over so soon. It's weird for me to think that my little baby that I hold so tight will/could be the last one I have. Babies are so wonderful. It's the toddlers that drain my energy.
I guess it's just a wait-and-see thing.
Marie - your family probably had some great conversations around the dinner table on Sundays! A Wiccan, a Mormon and a Catholic. It sounds like the beginning of some bad joke ;)
One by one. I guess that's the best way.
That being said, if I could get a wish from Santa it would be that women who desire a family and are fortunate enough to have children would be protected and supported enough to enjoy their role as mothers without being made to feel like they're wasting their brains or somehow falling behind or missing out on the important things in life. I certainly don't feel that way. Nor do I judge anyone who chooses to limit their family due to reasons they are not obligated to share anywhere; certainly not in a humor blog. This is serious business, Dears, and that is not a joke! Women are the guardians of the gates of life and death. We're the ones, and it's actually quite an honor, I think. Love to all, really. REALLY. Don't get all stirred up.
I feel myself getting irrationally irratated with this Caroline person.
People who leave lame, inappropriate, self righteous, angry, indignant comments on a satirical post on a HUMOR BLOG really get my knickers in a twist!
(Sorry to have to pull out the word "knickers," but I had to get my point across. I feel much better now.)
(And yes, I know my comment is lame, self righteous, angry, and indignant. But at least it's not INAPPROPRIATE!!!)
...don't get me started....
And your mom definitely has some good points. A SAHM friend of mine was told by her BIL that she was "wasting her brain on children." This is one of those guys who has a Bluetooth surgically implanted on his face.
I'm 25 and I have 4 kids. And I'm not allowed to have any more because of some pretty serious health problems. The last 2 almost killed me. But I love my kids and am very glad that they're here.
on the other hand, I have a fabulous SIL that has struggled with infertility for years and it's been the cause of much pain and anguish, esp. becuase her own mother really DOES think that everyone should have a bunch of kids... and she thinks that this infertility business is "nonsense"
That's why I get so defensive, because I know people on both ends of the spectrum and those people? are fabulous. They are amazing. And on those days, when my favorite people are reduced to tears because of an unkind, or funny, remark, I say what they, in their blubbering, cannot.
I'm not an extremist, and I know that this post was in jest. I KNOW. I just have very strong feelings on the matter and nobody said you had to like my opinion anyways. pbhhht.
(alright, that last sentence is probably going to make you mad all over again... oh well.)
See ya in hell sister!
HA!! Come on,join me! It'll be fun!!!!!!
Slainte~
Rachelle