Hot Mama

I finally did it. I bought something off an infomercial.

It was 5 am, I was ticked about having to do a pre-dawn diaper change, and was taking out my frustrations on bad t.v. And there is was. Sheer Cover makeup promised to bring health, happiness and utter stardom to my life. I picked up the phone and got the whole set.

So what if I don't usually even wear makeup. So what if the only people who see me during the day are the maintenance men. So what if I put on makeup like a third grader. Every morning for the past week I've put on a full face of concealer, foundation, blush, liners, shadows, mascara and gloss. I'm the hottest woman in sweat pants in all of L.A. And yes, they are the same sweats that I wore yesterday. And the day before.

The infomercials promises have all been true. My life is far better than it was before I bought the makeup. As I do my daily rounds from the throwup to the pee, to the dishes, I keep shooting myself come-hither looks in the mirrors and pouting my glossy lips. Sure, I'm still stuck in the grind, but I'm the sexiest cog it will ever have. Yes, I realize this is a totally conceited post but when you usually spend an entire week trying to remember to just brush your teeth, actually "making yourself up" every single day is a utterly giddying.

Today I think I'll go for the diva look. There is some great sparkley purple eyeshadow in my kit I haven't tried yet. I think it will complement perfectly the mysterious orange goo on my baby's onesie.

Do you look fabulous today? I do.