When Fiber Attacks

Thinking I'd be clever, I doubled up my bowl of cereal the other morning hoping to boost my fiber for the day and reduce my urge to snack. The cereal was Nature's Path Optimum Power Breakfast cereal. One cup of their cereal has 40% of your daily fiber (10 grams). I got halfway through the bowl and felt full but I didn't want the bowl to go to waste to I took a deep breath and powered through the rest of the bowl, grimly grinding the flax, barley and bran bits between my teeth.

My bowl finally empty, I smugly plopped on the couch to watch the morning news. Twenty minutes later I heard my daughter wake up and started getting up to get her. Stabbing pain shot through my gut. For the rest of the morning, I couldn't stand up straight. I had to walk bent in half if I needed to go anywhere at all and my stomach felt like it was full of screwdrivers. As I lay on the couch groaning and muttering, "too...much...fiber..." my husband sent me those why-did-I-marry-a-crazy-lady looks and shook his head.

My urge to snack was definitely reduced. Lunchtime came and went. My husband made himself a delicious looking sandwich and tried to convince me to have some. I just groaned. Fiber had finally gotten the best of me. I would never be hungry again.

A word to the wise, fiber can kill. At least, 80% of it in one bowl can. If any of you are as die-hard as I am about getting your daily dose of pebbles, check out this Fiber One promo from Eat Better America. They are giving away their cereal with 57% of your daily fiber in it. I've never heard of anything with that much fiber. I can't imagine what would happen if you accidentally took a few extra bites. But I fully intend to sign up for my free sample of their gravel and see what happens. One bowl a day and I'd be set. For those of you fiber virgins, my advice is to start slow and work your way up. Your gut and spouse will thank you.

I wish I had a great link to a poem about fiber to put here. But I don't. Here's my poem instead:

When you think the world is gray
eat fiber.
When your hairdo just won't stay
eat fiber.
A cup, a bowl, a fondue pot
of pebbly crunchies, cold or hot
You'll never give that cake a thought
when fiber fills your soul.

I know, it's beautiful. You didn't know I was a poet, did you?