March 24, 2011

Go To Hell

Remember all those half truths your parents told you to make you behave?  Cross your eyes and they'll stay that way.  Misbehave and Santa won't come this year.  Boys have cooties.  We all use them.  Easy lies to avoid the bigger conversation.  I'm as guilty as the next mom.  I tried recycling a half-truth the other day on my six year old Pixie.  

At a stop light, a man crossed the street in front of our waiting car.  "Mom," Pixie said slowly, "that man is kind of chubby."  
"You can't say stuff like that, honey." I replied.  "Did you know that once you get to heaven, everyone will know everything you've ever said or done, including that man?"
Pixie turned pale.  "I'm so sorry!" she stammered.  "Will he know that I'm sorry?"
"Yes.  But remember to always speak nicely."

So that was that.  I'd used an old lie (or maybe it's true?) that had worked on me as a kid to keep my own spawn in check.  With only the minimum required amount of guilt, I put the incident out of my mind.

The next day I was working in my sewing room when Pixie came in.  "Remember that guy yesterday... who was a little... you know..."

"The man at the crosswalk?"
"Yeah."

"What about him?" I asked.
Pixie gave me a wistful look then said softly,  "I hope he goes to hell."


And there it was.  Rather than have to face all the people who she'd ever said anything less than flattering about, Pixie had begun damning them all to hell instead to save face.  Just another tick mark on the score card of my awesome parenting.  Go, me.

18 comments:

Book Dragon said...

OMG! LOVE IT

Janell said...

She's a thinker :)

Amy said...

Welcome back to blogging. Excellent story.

Colleen said...

Oh man how I've missed your blog. No one else makes me laugh like you do. Your kids are a riot.

Nancy Sabina said...

I've never heard that lovely little half-truth before. But I think Pixie is a genius. She's got some smarts!

bdmalouf said...

That isthe greatest story I've ever heard!!!!!!

Lady of Perpetual Chaos said...

So glad that you're back!

Aunt LoLo said...

HAHAHAHA. I may have to use that little half-truth. I'm just hoping my little four year old won't put two and two together and come to the same conclusion your wee one did. ;-)

And I've missed you!

Jessica G. said...

I recently came across a well-loved Sven, one of your flaky friends and wondered what you were up to...glad to see you posting again!

Mary Elizabeth Liberty said...

SArah, I just used that tactic this morning on Ram: he's going to know you said that about him !

someone drilled that into us hard,

MM

Shiloh said...

Oh my gosh-- I'm laughing so hard!!!!

Amber Flake said...

i am so so glad that you are back to the blog!!!!! as a woman with awful morning sickness, i am spending way too much time vegging on the couch with the laptop... glad to have something really funny to look forward to!

katherine said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
katherine said...

She reminds me of her mother ;) We should never let your daughter and my 3 year old get together... they would cause all kinds of trouble!! Some kids are too smart for their own good.

Erin said...

You're back! I thought you'd never be back! Trixie looks all grown up!

Erin said...

Woops, I meant Pixie.

Michemily said...

Ha ha ha.

e. said...

Hysterical. I'm so glad to see you back! You were always one of my favorites.