Starting Over- It's Just Simply That
I'm happy announce my first monthly blog-exchange. I was paired with the marvelous Vicky and we are cross posting for the day (I post on hers, she posts on mine, got it?). Here is a great piece for the new year that she wrote. She's a fantastic writer, enjoy!
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Starting Over- It's Just Simply That
I walked in the front door and didn’t turn on any lights. By the small light of the kitchen stove I made myself a Fluffer-nutter sandwich and sat atop the counter to eat it. My mother walked in and looked me over. I think she asked me how the night went and I replied, “I feel like I’ve just been through a war.” Depleted, exhausted beyond any measure I had ever known, barely able to muster the energy to chew. Maybe it was more like the end of a very long marathon.
Group. Therapy. I had just come from my first session of group therapy. No longer able to go to the store alone without panicking, pump my own gas, or sleep through the night without stacking boxes in front of my bedroom door, my 20-year old self was on the verge. That’s what abuse can do. It makes you hit rock bottom. One thing though about that place called rock bottom? From there all you really can do is look up. So while I felt like utter loss and destruction had wracked my tiny body I knew I was on the cusp of starting over. From where I was there could only be better things right?
Group therapy was like renewing my license to live. I could talk freely about the last five years and not be judged. I could hear much worse stories and situations than my own. I could also palpably feel the sense of pervading hope that gave me the strength to start taking my life back. To walk down a path, try a new school far away, to sleep through an entire night and know peace. That sense of starting over had me skipping down the sidewalk some days and others cowering in a corner in tears at how hard it really was turning out to be. Looking back now I do see myself rising up like Scarlett O’Hara in those fields and knowing I would never be that girl again. I am stronger, more resilient; I laugh harder and longer, and know the value of taking charge and care of my own life. Gaining the strength to truly start over was the best and hardest thing that ever happened to me. It’s never too late to do so.
Vicky, a freelance writer, is throwing corporate life away this month and starting over. She will be staying home with her one daughter and writing full time. Read her daily adventures in life and blogging at The Mummy Chronicles. www.themummychronicles.blogspot.com
___________________
Starting Over- It's Just Simply That
I walked in the front door and didn’t turn on any lights. By the small light of the kitchen stove I made myself a Fluffer-nutter sandwich and sat atop the counter to eat it. My mother walked in and looked me over. I think she asked me how the night went and I replied, “I feel like I’ve just been through a war.” Depleted, exhausted beyond any measure I had ever known, barely able to muster the energy to chew. Maybe it was more like the end of a very long marathon.
Group. Therapy. I had just come from my first session of group therapy. No longer able to go to the store alone without panicking, pump my own gas, or sleep through the night without stacking boxes in front of my bedroom door, my 20-year old self was on the verge. That’s what abuse can do. It makes you hit rock bottom. One thing though about that place called rock bottom? From there all you really can do is look up. So while I felt like utter loss and destruction had wracked my tiny body I knew I was on the cusp of starting over. From where I was there could only be better things right?
Group therapy was like renewing my license to live. I could talk freely about the last five years and not be judged. I could hear much worse stories and situations than my own. I could also palpably feel the sense of pervading hope that gave me the strength to start taking my life back. To walk down a path, try a new school far away, to sleep through an entire night and know peace. That sense of starting over had me skipping down the sidewalk some days and others cowering in a corner in tears at how hard it really was turning out to be. Looking back now I do see myself rising up like Scarlett O’Hara in those fields and knowing I would never be that girl again. I am stronger, more resilient; I laugh harder and longer, and know the value of taking charge and care of my own life. Gaining the strength to truly start over was the best and hardest thing that ever happened to me. It’s never too late to do so.
Vicky, a freelance writer, is throwing corporate life away this month and starting over. She will be staying home with her one daughter and writing full time. Read her daily adventures in life and blogging at The Mummy Chronicles. www.themummychronicles.blogspot
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