March 2, 2007

From the Vault

I've recently found some of my old journals and couldn't resist sharing a few tidbits with you from 1995 when I was 15. I was a real gem.
8-7-95: Today was the start of tennis tryouts. The only reason I was trying out was because mom said she would pay me if I did. Then I found out that she also wanted me to be on the team. I bailed. I told her before that I didn't want to be on the team but she said that I should tryout just for the fun. Then she said today she wasn't going to pay me unless I took tennis in school [next year]. What a moron. So when it came time after lunch to go back to the courts I told her I wasn't going to try out... . She told me I should go anyway. The problem was I am too stubborn and she is too, so it was stalemate. Well this time I was determined to get my way so I just didn't get in the car. Well what could she do to me? Nothing! Ahh, the power. She said she wasn't leaving until I got in the car. Not my problem. I just went and hid in [my sister's] closet until she came ranting through the house looking for me. Finally she gave up. After I was sure she was gone I came out and found a nasty note on my bed. Like I care.

To me, these journals are painfully compelling to read through. I really don't remember being as emotionally insane as most of my entries indicate. And yes, my life did seem to revolve around boys. Alas, my teenage self would be shocked to know how typical she was. Poor girl.

Here I am being "unique":
Sometimes for a thrill I walk down the school hall on the "wrong side." When the halls are crowded, people come at me, get a really confused look on their face, and move to the other side. The fact that I am throwing them off their worn track scares them. It's great fun.

And dabbling in youthful rebellion:
4-24-95: [My orchestra teacher] caught me drawing on the stands with a white out marker. He told me that my punishment was the label all the stands "HPHS Orchestra." Well I really don't like the man so all the stand now read "Ach-pee-ach-ess Orchestra."
7-95: It's silly how early my curfew is. Midnight is when I wake up! I stayed at [a friend's] house till 2:00 am then decided I needed to face my parents. I was really scared they would eat me or something. I got home and all the lights were out - my parents must have been asleep. Thank goodness. I haven't seen them yet this morning but I woke up at 7:00 just to prepare myself for their probable wrath.
6-19-95: Well, [church girl's camp] did suck. Our leader ended up going home 1/2 way through camp because she hated us so much. The truth is, the lady just doesn't know how to handle teenagers. Mom said she is never going to send me or [my sister] back to that camp again. Somehow we always manage to run off the leaders.

And the classic:
5-26-96: Nobody asked me to prom.

Gee, I wonder why?

23 comments:

The Wiz said...

My favorite line in that one is "Like I care." So classic.

Bex said...

Sometimes I wonder why I actually keep a journal. Like I really want my children to read about how bratty I really was...

Your school ID is cute!! I haven't seen mine in years...good thing too because I was sooo awkward!

Toni said...

OMGawd! You were just sooo cool Sarah! I would be too scared to read back through mine!

Your picture is cute! Can't believe you still have it, but cute!

clyde said...

Swimming against the current... You were lucky since no one put you in the corner or punched you in the face adding a hint of purple eye-shadow.

Now we know (for sure) why we like you so much. You were a conmitted ousider your entire life. Too cool for most of your peers, ehhh? :)

NoSurfGirl said...

ahhhh, teenage angst.

Sometimes I wish I could be that young again.

You were way "cooler" than me in high school-- I was afraid to LOOK at anyone while walking down the hall, much less recklessly bump into people on purpose.

Sarah said...

People, people, people... let's get one thing straight. I was not "cool." I was so obsessed with not being anything definable that I barely managed to get out of high school remembering my name.

These entries are so embarrassing to me - I really thought I was revolutionary and creating my own path but I look at them now and am so grateful that I ended up a stay at home mom who's idea of rebelling is not rinsing the dishes before loading them. Walking on the wrong side of the hall isn't all it's cracked up to be. Mostly it just takes longer to get where you are going.

s'mee said...

Regarding tennis tryouts: If only your mother had offered you candy, or her watch... : >

I love the originality of the "Ach-pee-ach-ess Orchestra." I hope the teacher thought it was cool. lol

Mumsy the Tennis Nazi said...

Ahh, you THINK you didn't care. But look what a good little tennis player you are now? Remember when we beat Aaron's flashy brother, who could wail on the ball but couldn't keep it in the court to save his life? C'mon, you know you loved it. Girls against boys, and winning? Sweet memories.

I'll take you as a teenager any time, dearie. You were a peach in my book.

Just for fun, let's imagine what my nasty note might have said,

"Sarah, I am so disappointed in you. You are so coordinated and I need a hitting partner. Why would you abandon me? Don't you realize I'm forcing you to try out for ME and not for YOU? Who will I hit with in my old age? I guess you'll just need to marry someone who would actually be willing to play. Someone...."

But wait! You DID turn into a player and so did Adam, and I am happy after all (like you care...)!

Jenny said...

I actually went through my plethera of journals from my high school days and destroyed several of them, and removed key pages from others. There are just some things about being an awkward high schooler that I don't care to ever remember.

Janell said...

What evidence I have left of those years, I figure serves to show that despite tennage angst a person can still turn into a somewhat reasonable adult =)

Shudder. Doesn't mean I like reading them though. I went through a lot of my 19 year old stuff and had a hard time not just sending it all to the recycle bin.

Happy Camper in Lehi said...

I daresay that thousands of young women have a very similar if not identical journal entry regarding girls camp.

Adrienne said...

OMG, do you know I actually have one of the Ach-Pee-Ach-Ess stands back home in Dallas? Yeah, I stole it (also... Was that Mr. Nunez that yelled at you? I think that's why I stole it, Mario was a dink...)

If it makes you feel any better, Honestly? I thought you were LOADS of cool back then. I mean, you had a car that had both Rancid and Ella Fitzgerald tapes in it, not to mention enough snacks, dishes, and spare clothes to allow a family of three to survive in wilderness for AT LEAST two weeks.

Adrienne said...

Also... can pictures be uploaded to your comments? Because I have some AWESOME pictures of you, circa 1994-1997.

Sarah said...

Oh, that car! I remember there being a size 14 girdle and a blender in the back. I didn't know how they got in there but they stayed in the back for over a year. Who wears girdles anyway?

It sounds like a lot of people have gotten rid of their old journals - I just can't make myself do it. I'm pretty sure I won't let my kids read them until they are past their teenage years (maybe even later) but something about throwing away something that personal just doesn't jive with me.

Draino - it wasn't Nunez. It was that geeky guy who was dating Alison Tobin. And no, he didn't think my fancy speling was cool.

Adrienne said...

Oh MAN, that guy... Dave? Or something? What right did he even have punishing you for anything? I don't recall that dude being on the payroll...

chronicler said...

oh my goodness, you and reese witherspoon could've swapped photos in HS.

My my typical teenage angst it seems.

compulsive writer said...

Classic. Teen angst is the universal truth.

I love re-reading old journals because it reminds me to be more patient with my teenage kids. To give them an explanation sometimes and not just say, "Because I said so!" To tell them I am sorry when I am wrong or lose my temper or act just like I was their age. And to stop spinning my adult wheels and take a ride with them once in awhile.

AzĂșcar said...

This was seriously hilarious. It's so true, I was another one of those I'm So Unique that was nothing more than a geek! I'm so glad I'm no longer a teenager.

When I was called to YW I looked the Bishop straight in the face and said, "This is Kharma. It's my turn, I always knew my time would come. I need to take it like I dished it."

Mumsy said...

I really dig the the picture of you playing with a yo yo as you talk on the phone. Really. Dig it. Everyone be sure to click the link from "I was a real gem."

I've got one too. Go to www.benac.com/barbguitar.jpg to see yer ol' mutther as a cool 15-year old. Go ahead: I dare you!

Melissa said...

I've hidden my journals... unfortunately, I hid them a little too well. I know I was a brat, but now I have no proof. Sigh. I guess everyone will just have to go on believing that I am angelic...

Lindsay said...

You're brave. Revisiting the journals of my teen years is a little...unnerving. Everything I read in mine screams Hopeless Romantic Dork. I'm really glad those days are over.

Colleen said...

Oh my goodness. I can't believe you have the guts to post anything from that era. Awesome post.

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