October 1, 2005

Interview updated as of January 2015


Name: Hollywood
Location: Henderson/Las Vegas Nevada
Vocation: Health Coach, Mom
Philosophy: Go for it.

Sum up what your blog is about
Self-deprecation. There is daily fuel for this in my weird little life and I cover it all on the blog. I market the blog as a humor site so I try and focus on laughs whether it be a post about guerrilla parenting tactics, sketchy hair removal products or my unjustifiable Republican allegiance. I blog about everything between the lines of my seemingly unremarkable life and it's amazing what you can find in the cracks.

Why are you doing your blog?
I've loved writing ever since I learned to put letters together. It's exciting to me that there are over 1/4 million words in the English language and at any given moment I can put any of them together to create something totally new and unique. I only started blogging in November 2005 and soon discovered it to be the perfect medium for my forays into the absurd. Blogging also appeals to me because I am always thinking of some better way I could have said something or a wittier retort. With blogs, you can edit as long as you want and end up with the perfect turn of phrase but make it look spontaneous. A blog is a faker's paradise and I'm a total faker.

How much would you sell your blog for?
It's not money I'm after. But I'd give it up my blog in a heartbeat to be Gwen Stefani's backup singer.

Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind
This is not funny. And yet... I read a clip in the newspaper years ago about a kid who had died from blood poisoning. He was a deodorant junkie and would spray aerosol all over his body every day, multiple times a day. And one day his body just couldn't take it anymore and gave up. Am I allowed to laugh at that? Because I get this evil grin every time I think about it (which is almost every time I put on deodorant).

Whats the funniest entry on your blog?
Hard to decide - everyone seems to have a different opinion on this one, but I'm partial to Hollywood's Superlicious Post Formula which details how to turn an ordinary day into an extraordinary blog post and The Teenage Sleeper: A Primer in which I took secret photos of my sleeping sister. But my husband loves this letter I wrote to Barry Bonds

What is your writing style?
Tragic comedy. I force myself to brutal, humiliating honesty in hopes that it's what everyone else is secretly going through but is too proud or ashamed to admit. You might find yourself gagging, laughing and crying all in the same post. It's a total immersion process. I just put it all out there and let people know it's okay to fail. It's even better to laugh about it.

Why should someone visit your site?
It's like smoking. Everyone should try it at least once to know what the big deal is. Come on, just one puff! It could be the beginning of a beautiful life-long destructive addiction or you could just turn green, vomit and swear it off forever. With that being said, I must admit I've never smoked in my life and never plan to. But seriously, I am doing this all for you guys. I want to give people short, funny PG-13 rated posts that make them laugh either at me or with me. If I was writing this blog for myself, it would be a totally different, terrifying beast. But instead I try to create original, focused posts with universal appeal. Please laugh. I'll even take a fake chuckle. Otherwise all these hours I'm spending blogging rather than playing Jenga with my kids are going to total waste.

What do people commonly say about your site?
My dad thinks everything I write is a P.R. nightmare, my mother leaves skeptical comments questioning my sanity and my husband is constantly worried about getting fired from his job over it. Everyone else seems highly amused to watch with their popcorn in hand as I plunge headfirst to self-destruction by baring all.

If you could recommend one website, what would it be and why:
Mormon.org Because I'm sick of people asking me if I'm allowed to use electricity, if I can dance, or if I sacrifice babies on Halloween. I'm Mormon - not a 12th century witch. So before you ask about my cellar full of voodoo dolls, just check out the website and educate yourself. We're not as bad as you might of hoped.

Tell us your favorite actors, actress's, film, song, and comedian:
Actor: The Ben Stiller/Owen Wilson duo. It's magic every time. Zoolander, anyone?
Actress: Rene Zellweger. She's fearless and isn't afraid to get down and dirty to connect with the audience. Her acting range is impressive and I'm always captivated by the characters she plays. I loved her in Chicago and Bridget Jones.
Film: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It makes me love my husband more just thinking about it.
Song: "You Are a Pirate" from the kids' show Lazytown. I bet you didn't know it, but it's your favorite song too.
Comedian: Goldie Hawn, Ben Stiller ... give me a second to think of this one...

Tell us a joke
You asked for it. This one is my all time favorite.
Q: How do you sell a deaf guy a chicken?
A: DO YOU WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN!!!?? (Most effective if you scream it at the top of your lungs and jump within an inch of the person's face you are telling the joke to. I've had people fall flat on their butts before in sheer terror.)

What would you wish for with 3 wishes?
One: To never have to shave again
Two: For a magical device that could "sniff-test" possible dirty laundry in my kids' rooms for me so I didn't have to
Three: 40 acres and a mule

2 comments:

Angela said...

I love your blog, Sarah! Thank you for writing it for your adoring fans. :)

Erin said...

Dear Hollywood,

Love it!!! You are such a witty writer and I wish my mad skillz were comparable, but sadly they're not. Can I creep you out a little and tell you that I check your blog every day and want to be just like you??? Freaky, I know. Keep on blogging...

Sincerely,
Someone you don't know, but who thinks you are crazy funny